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<blockquote data-quote="Beta" data-source="post: 746966" data-attributes="member: 22597"><p>I've read and re-read each one of your responses. I've copied and pasted them and printed them out because I know in the coming weeks and months ahead I will need to refer to them again. </p><p>You know, I'm familiar with the term "codependent" but never really researched it, but suspected I probably had some of those traits. Well, this morning, after reading through your posts again, I did some reading on codependency. Wow. As I went down each characteristic, most of them describe me and definitely fit the dynamics of what's going on with our son. So I finally broke down now and bought a copy of "Codependent No More," which has been recommended on this site to me before. I see now that the dynamic of my relationships and particularly the dynamic in my relationship to Josh is not a healthy one, for me or ultimately for him. Copa, your words above "I think your love for yourself and self-care also demonstrates deep love and commitment for your son. To the son who can accept treatment and benefit from it. To the bottom line that he can be somebody who can control himself and be appropriate to others," really got me thinking. It's not just what is best for me right now but what will ultimately maybe benefit him. I'm just feeding the fire with my attempts to rescue and reach him. He will need to experience the absence of his parents in his life, at least for the time being. </p><p></p><p>Anyway, to each of you who took time out of your day to consider and thoughtfully answer my question, thank you. I can't tell you in words how much I appreciate each of you. I will continue to read and learn from each of you. I've prayed that God will give each of you peace, joy, and a sense of His presence as you walk through this. Love and hugs to you all.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Beta, post: 746966, member: 22597"] I've read and re-read each one of your responses. I've copied and pasted them and printed them out because I know in the coming weeks and months ahead I will need to refer to them again. You know, I'm familiar with the term "codependent" but never really researched it, but suspected I probably had some of those traits. Well, this morning, after reading through your posts again, I did some reading on codependency. Wow. As I went down each characteristic, most of them describe me and definitely fit the dynamics of what's going on with our son. So I finally broke down now and bought a copy of "Codependent No More," which has been recommended on this site to me before. I see now that the dynamic of my relationships and particularly the dynamic in my relationship to Josh is not a healthy one, for me or ultimately for him. Copa, your words above "I think your love for yourself and self-care also demonstrates deep love and commitment for your son. To the son who can accept treatment and benefit from it. To the bottom line that he can be somebody who can control himself and be appropriate to others," really got me thinking. It's not just what is best for me right now but what will ultimately maybe benefit him. I'm just feeding the fire with my attempts to rescue and reach him. He will need to experience the absence of his parents in his life, at least for the time being. Anyway, to each of you who took time out of your day to consider and thoughtfully answer my question, thank you. I can't tell you in words how much I appreciate each of you. I will continue to read and learn from each of you. I've prayed that God will give each of you peace, joy, and a sense of His presence as you walk through this. Love and hugs to you all. [/QUOTE]
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