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Substance Abuse
Your house/your rules -How to stop 17 yo from using pot in house?
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 705950" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Your house/your rules.</p><p></p><p>"But pot is legal!!!"</p><p></p><p>Your answer: "I'm my house, I don't allow some legal things such as ANY smoke, drunkenness (whatever you ban, including disrespect.) My house is not the law. It is my sanctuary with my rules and if you don't respect that, you will have to leave my house as soon as I can legally arrange it. It is your choice to obey and stay or decide not to and leave."</p><p></p><p>Don't waver. Our disturbed adult kids disrespect weakness and if we go back on our word they see us as weak and inwardly sneer at us and we lose ALL credibility to have ANY positive influence in their lives.</p><p></p><p>Parenting is not for wimps or those afraid of our children. They may not like it or us, but I feel we owe them our strength and consistency. If they don't respect us they will abuse us. And they really do need us to be strong.</p><p></p><p>I also learned that when talking to them...less is more. Do not give them words to throw back at you.</p><p></p><p>Example:"You're being ridiculous. It's legal."</p><p></p><p>"Not in my house." Period. Don't engage any other baiting. Let him ramble</p><p></p><p>"I hate you! I'm going to disown you."</p><p></p><p>"I love you, but the rules stand." No more engagement. Go out and take a walk or drive if he wont stop abusing you.</p><p></p><p>I have had amazing results with "less is more" with my difficult abusive son. Now he lives a few states away. That helps. But he used to call me all the time and with abuse. Not anymore. I won't respond to or listen to any abuse. He doesn't call as much now but when he does he is much more careful lol.</p><p></p><p>Don't be your sons doormat. He won't respect you. Have a good day. Stand strong.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 705950, member: 1550"] Your house/your rules. "But pot is legal!!!" Your answer: "I'm my house, I don't allow some legal things such as ANY smoke, drunkenness (whatever you ban, including disrespect.) My house is not the law. It is my sanctuary with my rules and if you don't respect that, you will have to leave my house as soon as I can legally arrange it. It is your choice to obey and stay or decide not to and leave." Don't waver. Our disturbed adult kids disrespect weakness and if we go back on our word they see us as weak and inwardly sneer at us and we lose ALL credibility to have ANY positive influence in their lives. Parenting is not for wimps or those afraid of our children. They may not like it or us, but I feel we owe them our strength and consistency. If they don't respect us they will abuse us. And they really do need us to be strong. I also learned that when talking to them...less is more. Do not give them words to throw back at you. Example:"You're being ridiculous. It's legal." "Not in my house." Period. Don't engage any other baiting. Let him ramble "I hate you! I'm going to disown you." "I love you, but the rules stand." No more engagement. Go out and take a walk or drive if he wont stop abusing you. I have had amazing results with "less is more" with my difficult abusive son. Now he lives a few states away. That helps. But he used to call me all the time and with abuse. Not anymore. I won't respond to or listen to any abuse. He doesn't call as much now but when he does he is much more careful lol. Don't be your sons doormat. He won't respect you. Have a good day. Stand strong. [/QUOTE]
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Your house/your rules -How to stop 17 yo from using pot in house?
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