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Substance Abuse
Your house/your rules -How to stop 17 yo from using pot in house?
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 706079" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>You can give him options, like Job Corps or the military. He may not want these options, but that is not your responsibility. There is the point at which it is our job as parents to insist that their poor choices have limits, at least in the terrain that we control.</p><p></p><p>I am having the same battle with my own son. I hate it, but I see it as fighting for him, as well as myself.</p><p>Where do you think he is getting the money? Is he dealing? I forget.</p><p>I think the why is complicated.</p><p></p><p>Asserting himself to be an adult, which is pretty much limited to individuating through bad behavior different from your values.</p><p></p><p>This is a symbolic power play, to show who is boss over him: i.e. not you. That he makes the rules for him, especially with respect to you; especially with respect to your house.</p><p></p><p>The key for us is removing the pay off, and increasing the costs.</p><p></p><p>The costs: paying for upkeep when emancipated (rent, food, car, etc.) The lack of family support. The legal consequences of bad behavior.</p><p></p><p>Right now you are insulating him from the costs. In 3 months that can change.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 706079, member: 18958"] You can give him options, like Job Corps or the military. He may not want these options, but that is not your responsibility. There is the point at which it is our job as parents to insist that their poor choices have limits, at least in the terrain that we control. I am having the same battle with my own son. I hate it, but I see it as fighting for him, as well as myself. Where do you think he is getting the money? Is he dealing? I forget. I think the why is complicated. Asserting himself to be an adult, which is pretty much limited to individuating through bad behavior different from your values. This is a symbolic power play, to show who is boss over him: i.e. not you. That he makes the rules for him, especially with respect to you; especially with respect to your house. The key for us is removing the pay off, and increasing the costs. The costs: paying for upkeep when emancipated (rent, food, car, etc.) The lack of family support. The legal consequences of bad behavior. Right now you are insulating him from the costs. In 3 months that can change. [/QUOTE]
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Your house/your rules -How to stop 17 yo from using pot in house?
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