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The Watercooler
"You're a terrible parent," said my 35 year old son.
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 573654" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Why? He NEEDED to talk to me (probably about his lovelife) and I told him I was watching the Packers game in five minutes so please hurry up or call me afterward.</p><p></p><p> How dare I tell him to call me before the game or after it? He is more important than the game. As his parent it is my responsibility to be there for him 100% EVERY TIME HE CALLS ME! It's insane that I told him I wouldn't pick up the phone during the Packers game. What if he was in the hospital??? And I'm blowing my JOB problem out of proportion. After all, it was a stupid part-time job. I should be getting over it by now. NOBODY is suffering like he is...with the divorce and his ex. Nobody on the PLANET is suffering like him (I made the last line up). I'm a lousy parent because I don't support him 100% all the time. In fact, he is doing so well (so well????) IN SPITE of me, not because of me."</p><p></p><p>When I told him we should cut this off because I am still not 100% back to normal and he is in a bad mood, he hung up.</p><p></p><p>Wow. He even told me I should tell my therapist what I said about the Packers game and guaranteed me my therapist would say I was a horrible mother. I said she probably would say he was being abusive, but he said, incredulously, "ARE YOU SERIOUS?" </p><p></p><p>I have three great kids. I can hardly believe I raised the two oldest boys....the one who left us and this one who is 35 and still thinks I should parent him like he's ten and who thinks *my* issues should not matter to me and that I should be there for him as a rock no matter what is going on in my life. He said he'd offered to be there for me but I won't talk to him about it. No, I won't. He wouldn't get it and I don't really feel like talking about it to my kids. There is nothing they can do. I *am* feeling better, but it's a work in progress. I liked my job and feel there was a grave injustice there. And, pardon me, I did want to watch the Packers game for some relief from life (although the game was hardly much relief...lol).</p><p></p><p>Moving on, Son is also upset that a lot of times when he calls I say "I can't talk long." I should never say that. I should miss appointments, working out, my other kids and my husband to just listen to him and say the right things to make him feel better (because he gets ugly if I don't say the right things). The fact that I talk to him 10 times more than anyone else in my life doesn't matter because HE IS IN HELL. </p><p></p><p>So what is the consensus? Am I a terrible mom? <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/2012/sochildish.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":sochildish:" title="sochildish :sochildish:" data-shortname=":sochildish:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 573654, member: 1550"] Why? He NEEDED to talk to me (probably about his lovelife) and I told him I was watching the Packers game in five minutes so please hurry up or call me afterward. How dare I tell him to call me before the game or after it? He is more important than the game. As his parent it is my responsibility to be there for him 100% EVERY TIME HE CALLS ME! It's insane that I told him I wouldn't pick up the phone during the Packers game. What if he was in the hospital??? And I'm blowing my JOB problem out of proportion. After all, it was a stupid part-time job. I should be getting over it by now. NOBODY is suffering like he is...with the divorce and his ex. Nobody on the PLANET is suffering like him (I made the last line up). I'm a lousy parent because I don't support him 100% all the time. In fact, he is doing so well (so well????) IN SPITE of me, not because of me." When I told him we should cut this off because I am still not 100% back to normal and he is in a bad mood, he hung up. Wow. He even told me I should tell my therapist what I said about the Packers game and guaranteed me my therapist would say I was a horrible mother. I said she probably would say he was being abusive, but he said, incredulously, "ARE YOU SERIOUS?" I have three great kids. I can hardly believe I raised the two oldest boys....the one who left us and this one who is 35 and still thinks I should parent him like he's ten and who thinks *my* issues should not matter to me and that I should be there for him as a rock no matter what is going on in my life. He said he'd offered to be there for me but I won't talk to him about it. No, I won't. He wouldn't get it and I don't really feel like talking about it to my kids. There is nothing they can do. I *am* feeling better, but it's a work in progress. I liked my job and feel there was a grave injustice there. And, pardon me, I did want to watch the Packers game for some relief from life (although the game was hardly much relief...lol). Moving on, Son is also upset that a lot of times when he calls I say "I can't talk long." I should never say that. I should miss appointments, working out, my other kids and my husband to just listen to him and say the right things to make him feel better (because he gets ugly if I don't say the right things). The fact that I talk to him 10 times more than anyone else in my life doesn't matter because HE IS IN HELL. So what is the consensus? Am I a terrible mom? :sochildish: [/QUOTE]
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"You're a terrible parent," said my 35 year old son.
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