Hello- I'm new to the group and I'm hoping that some of you with slightly older children can help me to figure out what I can do now to deal with my son's behavior so that it doesn't get worse. Here is the background: My boy/girl twins are now 2 years 8 months old. They are both strong personalities and very stubborn and opinionated. But the defiance is a newer development for my daughter- I think she is just a relatively spirited toddler going through the terrible twos. With my son, things have been difficult since he was about 15 months. Starting at that time, he tests limits constantly. As a younger toddler he would climb furniture even when you told him no a million times, run away from us in the playground (sometimes trying to escape the playground), and have big tantrums. His tantrums don't last long (maybe 10 minutes at the most), but they are intense. Now as a two+ year old he has gotten better in some respects- he still wanders off from us, but he stops or comes back when we call him. He can sometimes respond to limits (counting works sometimes). But he is still very defiant and wants to do what he wants to do. sometimes this becomes obsessive- like he wants to close the door, put the scissors away, etc....something that may or may not be appropriate or safe. So many daily things are a battle with him- diaper changes, bedtime, sitting in his seat for meals (not climbing on the table), leaving the park. Transitions are always the hardest. This weekend we went to the beach and he didn't want to leave. We carried him kicking, screaming, scratching, to the boardwalk only to have him run half way across the beach as soon as we put him down. I do not see many other toddlers doing this sort of thing. He is seeing an Occupational Therapist (OT) who says he has sensory processing disorder, but she thinks a lot of it is behavioral as well. So we started working with a behavior therapist. It is so hard to change his behavior! So far I am working on ignoring his tantrums (sooo hard because he throws things and sometimes bites and scratches- I put him in his room when he does this, but again, just that response feels like I am paying attention to the tantrum) and teaching him that I mean business when I give him an instruction or set a limit. Ugh, this is so much harder than what friends go through with their kids. I feel like it is parenting 4.0 while others are still breezing through the intro course. I know I shouldn't compare, but I can't help feeling frustrated and resentful. Were there specific behavior techniques that worked for you in cutting down on the complete chaos at home? My daughter has picked up so many bad behaviors from him- at this point I need to set good limits with both of them. Time outs haven't been all that effective. We put them in their cribs for time outs, and i know for sure they wouldn't stay in a time out corner or chair if I implemented that.... Thanks for any and all advice.