3 months here and the Door is off!

[Ropefree]

How about massage therapy? Swimming? long relaxing soaks in hot tubs?
I thought that the "release the anger" by expressing it was no longer supported because it is learned behavior. That enforseing the pattern of acting out teaches doing that. Anger is a symulation and if their is bi polar in the house the manic is so enthusiastic about high stym...where is a child going to learn to relax and let the intensity of emotions wash through without learning the releif of relaxation?
Anger is a intense emotional state and it seems to me that when we as adults are
pretending it is "controlable" what we really mean is that when we ourselves are angery it takes time to sort out and all we REALLy need to know about anger is it is human, real and the person feeling angery needs attention...and to relax.
In my mind anger is the "out of control" condition where learning to take and be in time out is a life long skill.
I slammed doors ...I am a identified former door slammer, I quess I should put that in my intro. Oh oh oh...RECovered door slammer. I actually used door slamming in
a piece about anger once...and, Moms and Dads there is a God with a sence of humor because the door I had to used was on that self closing not to slam type and I had to really put out some energy to get a bang out of it.
My point is when kids are out of control it is the scaariest place on earth for them....how do we as parents make a home where there is peace?

 

[Star*]

She sounds so much like Dude at that age...I'm so sorry Toto -

I remember a member here to had foster kids and ....she had an anger or time out room. It had pads on the walls and a door that couldn't be kicked through - and it was a great place for her fosters to go to. I had always thought if I had the resources I would have done that. When Dude raged like that? I handed him a ball bat and let him go out and hit trees and the dirt and fence posts...AND kept him in therapy so we could find out WHAT made him so angry and let him know it is OKAY and NORMAL to be angry - but HOW appropriately you handle your anger is the important thing.

I wish it were as easy as waving a wand but I've been looking for the cure of 14 years and so far despite it all therapy, time and my understanding and how I handled the situation have been the key elements in his maturation.

HUGE HUGS - who needs a door anyway?

 

[totoro]

Ropefree I don't mean to sound cynical but we have done the hottub, massage, yoga etc etc etc... when the kid is manic she is manic.
We have been working on finding the outlet for K for 2 years plus now... it will come maybe. Maybe not.
Star I was at the store looking for boxing bags today!!! She had a special room like the one you describe at our house in Idaho, because we rent... and have only been here for 3 months. We are still trying to figure out the best tricks!!!
I may give her her bat and a boxing clown out back and the rest of us stay inside!!!
We skip piano today... we shall see if she cares about this...

 

[Jena]

hey,

how was the day? did you find a punching bag?? I read a few articles on it for kids with BiPolar (BP) who rage it gives them safe something to hit and it's also theraputic......

hope it helps. do you think the piano lessons threw her over the edge also, just like too much stimulation?

I often find difficult child so much harder to handle as well between the theater group and now the violin. she gets so overexcited thinking and talking about it. she revvs up and flies manic from time to time. it's been so much better on seroquel though. who knows past weekend as a nightmare.

i just hold onto the good now when she gives it to me. i hope k's day was better and yours!!!!!

 

[totoro]

No Jen I did not find a punching bag. But thanks for asking!
I can't say the piano threw her over the edge. Basically she is pretty classic ultra-ultra-ultra-rapid cycler... she also holds it all in at school because of her anxiety. So it is gonna come out sometime after school.
Piano was just overwhelming, too much overload in her head. Chaos. She said she was happy today when we told her she was not going today. She said she does not want to go back. She has already forgot about it.
This teacher was so easy going, about the best we could hope for.
That was the only thing we did 1/2 hour each week. therapist once a week also which she loves!!!
She is just unstable right now.
Until she has her medications right and gets through this change or whatever it is. Or maybe it is just life and a part of a change in her disorder.
It is what it is... sometimes there is a trigger and other times not.
Some days I hate it some days it just is... my life.

 

[Ropefree]

Totoro: my heart goes out to you. My mother was manic. It is a nightmare.
And I hope you have a plan for her to be following because the manic will manipulate and keep the attention on themselves and their whim and wish and it never ends from their end.
She is seven? You have to set the pattern and you have to make the firm rules. And you can do it softly and slowly as you introduce what will be but learning to slow down and get into bed and stay there are not optional.

I used reading as the tool to get the peace and make the pattern. The whole house has to switch into the prepare to bed mode. Lower lights soothing music, bath time, quiet in the room time...maybe put the dolls to bed..or the toys may have to come out of the room......choose a book a long chapter book and read it softly so she has to listen. With mutiple bedrooms sitting in the hall,perhaps, with only the one reading lamp on. start with one chapter and if that goes well volunteer to read more than one the next night IF they go to bed say ten minutes earlier.
We got to 2 1/2 hours and stayed there for years.
THen no getting up til morning. No talk.

It is totally on you. And you can do it. She will like it. She gets undivided attention for an exstended period of time. It is relaxing.

When I made a chore chart for my son a bit younger than that when it came to reward what he wanted was my time reading. I did it anyway but he liked having control over when and where for extra.

it does not fix them to learn to relax and recieve a massage or get the gentle soft touch as they lay to relax to sleep it repatterns their system to relax. Manics are not into it. They do need to control and do this for themselves and they need the support to learn it. Do not give up or give in.
When do you sleep anyway?