A Deeply Felt "Thanks" to all

[nvts]

Hi! I know I've been sort of a ghost lately, but things were really crazy around here. But I do know that when the chips were down here, you all came through like the great family that you've become.

First: difficult child 1 was blowing up all over the place in the day treatment program he was in. Threats, restraining (with him coming home bruised), driving across the Island every day to pick him up, wanting to hospitalize for a "medication wash" (he was on Concerta - what kind of "medication wash" is that?!!), keeping him home for a week because of threats of ACS and forced hospitalization, etc.

YOU told me stand strong and move him to another school. YOU told me to give the Abilify that was recommended a chance and it worked.
YOU backed me up when I felt that the Concerta could be causing the ODD-like behaviors and rages.
YOU made me find that steel core that I knew I had, but just couldn't find.

Well, he started the new school today with a smile on his face, fear in his heart, anxiety in his brain, but pride in his spine. He had his first counseling session with his guidance counselor, she called to tell me that he gave her a complete history and would I be willing to talk with him. He said (and I quote) "I got a little jumpy a couple of times, but I calmed myself down really, really fast. I think that I'm going to love coming here every day - and guess what? I like learning again!".

I feel so good. I know it's the first day, and everyday isn't going to be like this, but the validation was GLORIOUS!!!

So, since you ALL helped me get to where I could feel that little bit of "ahhhhh, nice!!!" (sort of like when you get into a hot shower or bath on a cold day and no one is home), I thought I should share the feeling.

Thank you family, for being there, sharing, inspiring, teaching, validating, and explaining soooo many things to me!

I can easily say "I owe this one to YOU!!!"

Beth

 

[WhymeMom?]

Great to hear a positive outcome!!!! Hope it continues, but revel in the glory now......

 

[trinityroyal]

Woo Hoo!
Beth, I'm so glad to hear about this. You rock, Warrior Mom.

He said (and I quote) "I got a little jumpy a couple of times, but I calmed myself down really, really fast. I think that I'm going to love coming here every day - and guess what? I like learning again!".

And these words...something to treasure forever.

Yay!

Trinity

 

[meowbunny]

His words literally brought tears to my eyes. Hope he can keep that attitude.

I'm so glad things are looking up for you.

 

[Steely]

So, so happy for you!!! And difficult child!

Many hugs, and may the force stay with you.

 

[klmno]

I can't say I did anything to help you, but I wanted to let you know that I'm so happy that this is working -at least, so far- and that your difficult child's attitude is where it should be. That should go a long way!!

 

[tryinghard]

Beth,

I am so happy for you and difficult child...how absolutely awesome.

You both give me hope...for me and my difficult child..

 

[Marguerite]

Beth, a serious suggestion, to help those parents who come after you - take careful notes. Help your son along. But record it all and when you think enough time has passed to be able to honestly say this placement is working wonders for him - then you feed that information back to his old school. Politely - no need to be obvious about rubbing their noses in it.

But think about it from their point of view - you ignored their good advice and 'kidnapped' your own child from their compassionate and informed custody, so of course it's going to be a disaster for him. And of course they will never hear about how he's going, because he's going to hit rock bottom and it's all going to end in tears - and of course the parents would never feed back if the outcome is so negative.

That's why I LOVE feeding back with a success story. "Hi, Mrs ___. Remember us? I just thought I'd share with you on the outcome of my child's progress since we left your jurisdiction. We immediately put X, Y and Z into place and found we got the really good outcomes of A, B and C. At this point the expectations are G, K and L. Isn't this great? I just thought you'd be relieved to know that your concerns did not eventuate after all."

You will undoubtedly never want to darken their doorstep again (and I don't blame you) but it's amazing how you can add the final link into their chain of consciousness, so that maybe in future they MAY just give a parent a bit more respect?

And hey, if they don't, it won't be for your lack of feedback.

A good friend of ours has a daughter who is very gifted. However, the child was badly bullied in her second year of schooling, by a mature-age first year teacher. This dark-haired dark-eyed child, K, was constantly put down and criticised, in favour of another child, B, who was blonde and blue-eyed.
K, a keen reader, brought her book list to school which showed she'd read 20 books over the week. The teacher's response was, "Not bad. But B - she's done great. She's read 5 books!"
K was the youngest finalist in a writing competition which got her entry published in one of the national newspapers. The teacher made no mention of it in the school newsletter at all. Lots of other things - B used to bully K. K's mother asked the teacher, "please do not sit K and B together, and please do not assign them to the same project."
So the teacher assigned the two girls to the same project. The teacher threw chalk, and at one time, a chalk eraser, at K "for insolence". K told her mother and couldn't understand why the teacher had been angry. "I was just looking at her, Mummy." (I've seen those dark eyes watching intently - an insecure person would find K's undivided attention intimidating).
K was eventually in tears every morning and refusing to go to school.

The mother complained to the principal but by then the teacher (who had only been relieving) was gone. The principal did nothing and even re-hired that teacher on a casual basis later on. The mother has been avoiding all social contact with that teacher because she couldn't trust herself to not be extremely rude to her. K has since been moved to another school where she is now doing extremely well - at the top of the extension class.

Last week K's mother met the teacher and (amazingly) was polite. The teacher asked how K was going so the mother told her, in glowing terms. The teacher tried but was unable to hide her disappointment (a sort of "Oops, I made the wrong call"). The mother said that the look on the teacher's face was extremely satisfying.

Success is the best revenge, but it's even more enjoyable when your enemy knows it.

Marg

 

[TerryJ2]

Ohhh, Beth, that is fantastic!

I agree with-Marg. Take notes
Ea case is different but there were clearly some missteps that you clearled up that others can follow.

Major congratulatory hugs!!! {{{{ }}}}

 

[Shari]

Congrats! I pray this continues!

 

[Star*]

Well Super Squirrel........

THAT's WHAT FAMILIES ARE FOR!!

I'm glad you and your son have found a good place to be.

Hugs