A Glimmer of Hope

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by welcometowitsend, Mar 5, 2014.

  1. Hi everyone,
    It's been quite a while since I posted or read on the boards. Sorry for being gone so long. I see many new names and the familiar names as well. I look forward to getting caught up with everyone's situations and hope for positive news.

    Thankfully our difficult child is doing much better. He asked to come back home in September and we agreed provided he followed the following rules: Attend school, pass his classes, hold down a job and be respectful in our home. He has done this - more or less. He passed 3 out of 4 classes first semester and has a job now. We are paying for him to take driver training and hopefully he will have his drivers license soon. husband and I told him that as long as he keeps working and passing his courses we will help him with his car insurance for the rest of this school year.

    He can't graduate high school this year like he is supposed to - he will have to go back for one more semester. That is ok. We just want him to graduate. That is our main goal right now.

    In many ways he is still very immature and has hair-brained ideas but he is just 18 (last week) so I guess that's pretty normal for a boy. I think our biggest concern is how unmotivated and lazy he is. We wonder how he will find a good paying job and work full time because he is sooooo lazy. He says he is going to join the military after he graduates high school - that'll be an eye opener for him but might be exactly what he needs - a highly structured environment.

    For the most part he is much more respectful of husband and I and our rules.

    easy child is doing great - dancing her heart out, maturing (more so than her brother but.....), and just got hired for a job at a gymnastics place assisting birthday parties and camps. She will start training next week on March break. She is very excited. She also made honour roll at school for her first year in high school - with all her Learning Disability (LD)'s we are so proud of her hard work and she deserves the recognition.

    We took the kids to Cuba for a vacation in February and the kids got along great and we all enjoyed our visit.

    All in all things are going very well for our family right now and we are happy. We still have concerns but we are hopeful that difficult child will slowly mature and learn to take on life's challenges.
     
  2. SuZir

    SuZir Well-Known Member

    Wonderful to hear from you - and such a good news too!

    I think part of the laziness is just something boys that age are. And from which most grow out when they mature a bit and find what they actually want to pursue. If my remember correctly also your kid was very young for his years, so that light bulb may take some more time to turn on.

    It is also great that he and his sister are getting along better now.

    For us things are mostly same old, same old. difficult child has better, worse and What The Heck times. Currently, I hope, he may have just passed one peak of crisis and is getting to better place again for a while. Of course, who knows, but I'm slightly hopeful.
     
  3. Hello Suzir! Good to hear from you. I was wondering how your difficult child made the transition to the new team. I know you had been worried about that.

    I also forgot to say in my post that I have so many thank you's to give to all the amazing parents on this board. I learned to set boundaries and stick with them, I learned both the heartbreak and freedom of knowing I was not in control of difficult child's choices and I learned to start loving myself and taking care of me. So - thank you to all of you for that!!
     
  4. SuZir

    SuZir Well-Known Member

    Hah, that one. Well, 'badly' would be a good choice of words, I think. He is playing well though, but currently in his third team for the season. However every transfer has been athleticly solid. It is a mess but hopefully he will get a more stable placement for next season and stay at least two years put. Mainly because he really need to continue more intensive therapy but also because he has lots of things to learn about being a team player and pro athlete he will not be able to learn without being solidly part of the team and under one coach's thumb.
     
  5. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    It's always wonderful to get a positive update. I think it really helps those who are struggling or still struggling. Sounds like your family is on a slow but steady upward climb! Great! DDD
     
  6. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    WTW, it is so good to hear from you. And, even more wonderful that your son came home!! Wow. You did such an incredible job WTW, always so loving yet strong in your convictions and boundaries. I have always been so impressed with how you handled all of it. Well done. I'm also pleased that he and his sister are getting along so well. He really sounds like kind of an average teenage boy now! Well, I imagine the Military would give him a pretty quick wake up call and perhaps that is exactly what he needs to take the next step in his life.

    Thanks for the terrific update WTW. I am really happy for you............sending you big hugs!!
     
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