Ok, so this may be a long thread. I'll try to be as brief as I can while including the most relevant information. I'm actually not a parent, but I have been dating my girlfiend for 15 months. She has 4 children ages 14, 9, 8, and 5. I do not have any of my own. My girlfriend is not officially divorsed as she is going through a nasty legal battles with her husband that is still going on 15 months later. He has supervised visitation with 3 of the kids. He sexually abused his 14 year old step daughter and is awaiting trial on several 1st degree felong counts. He also likely sexually abused his 8 year old daughter, whom I have ultimately come on here to discuss. My girlfriend and I were mainly focused on the legal matters for the first few months. She had and still has an incredible amount on her plate. She also has an extreemly difficult child who is now 8 years old that was taken in by my girlfrieds mother for the past year to ease the situation that was beyond manageable as she has assisted living and only 2 bedrooms for 5 people. Recently, her mother and step father were on the brink of divorce because they could no longer control her, and she was causing them to neglect their other children to care for her. The only thing to do was to give her back to her mother, (my girlfriend) and live in the 2 bedroom house. (She recently got approved 15 months later for section 8 housing that will enable them to get a larger house). In the last couple of months since she has been back into the home, our relationship has suffered immensly as my girlfriend is constantly in a battle with her 8 year old daughter. We cannot go out anymore because she cannot be baby sat. When I try to describe her behavior to others, I say, "have you ever seen Dr. Phil or Maury Provich where they have those children that are constantly throwing tantrums and cursing at everyone?" Well, she is that way. She constantly fights her brothers and sisters. She steals anything she can get her hands on and lies right to your face even if she is caught red handed. She is loud and cries for hours on end when disiplined or sent to her room. She throws stuff around the room and damages the home when she does not get her way. She has sexually and violently acted out against her mom and brothers and sisters. My girlfriend and I have tried everything. We are desperate for help but cannot get any. She has begun testing and her IQ was well above average with an IQ of over 140. She is very good at manipulating. Her case workers and evaluators minimize her symptoms and say that she just needs more attention and love. She is able to manipulate them and seems to only be on good behavior during these evaluations. She was skipped a grade to the 4th grade and still finds the work too easy. She does not have any friends as she is unable to get along with other kids. She fights often with them as she tries to control them as we see her try to control her brothers and sisters. The evaluation process seems to be taking forever as nobody seems to see the severity of the situation. There are biological factors and environmental factors to consider. Her dad was abusive emotionally, physically, verbally, and likely sexually (the 8 year old daughter made allegations that he would fondle her at night while she was sleeping). The dad, in my opinion from what i've been told by my girlfriend and her family is antisocial, narcisstic, and controlling. He is an alcoholic and drug abuser. (I worked at the same facility and heard from multiple sources that he dealt drugs). He is also very smart. He is currently in the process of getting a pre-law degree. My girlfreind has a brother with schizophrenia who has been in and out of the State Hospital. She also has a brother with fragile x autism and another brother struggling with conduct. The father also has a son from a previous marriage that is now about 13 or 14 who is in juvinile detention for sexually abusing their 8 year old daughter and her 9 year old brother. He sodimized them and forced them into sexual intercourse. He initially claimed that he learned the behavior by his dad, but my girlfreind was unaware of the abuse of her daughter and did not believe him. My girlfriend has done a phenomenal job of parenting the kids in the last 15 months with great family support. She has been taking them to therapy and providing a loving and supporting environment. Since the addition of the daughter though, the environment has become chaotic once again. Just writing this tragic story makes me cringe. What have I gotten myself into. I love my girlfriend and the kids, but sometimes I feel like I cannot deal with the situation. We struggle everyday now. I'm terrified to marry her and take on the responsibility of the 8 year old daughter and the other kids for the rest of my life. I do not feel like my girlfriend is getting the help that she desperately needs with the 8 year old. It's a terribly sad story and it would kill me to walk away from my girlfriend and the kids with all they have been through. She gets 600 dollars in food stamps, but her dad and I have to pay all her other expenses. She recieves little or no child support from the dad or the father of her oldest child. I don't know what to do anymore. Sorry for such a long story. If you made it this far, God bless you. I'm open for any advise or direction.