When I first found this board, and had to come up with a pseudonym for my difficult child, I chose N* - the star being for the crown which she thinks adorns her lovely lil' difficult child head. She showed it in spades today! N* and I have met with the private social worker a few times, and today went to meet with the adoption attorney who will represent N*. There are four possible sperm donors (PSD) - who all know she is pregnant, but not all of them know there are other possible candidates. Oh what a tangled web we weave.... The social worker does not think it would be a good idea to have N* review profiles of couples who wish to adopt until the SW has had an opportunity to speak with all of the PSDs to find out who are willing to sign consent docs and who are not. She thinks it is important to allow potential couples the option to "opt out" before even being considered if there is a possibility of a PSD contesting the adoption. Seems fair to those of us who are fair minded. Fair-minded is not difficult child's strong suit. That know-it-all wants to withhold the name of the 4th PSD because "they always used a condom" - and "I don't think we had sex until after I was already pregnant." Hello!!!! When N* discovered she was pregnant, and we tried to calculate the time of conception, she stated there were three PSDs. Within a few days, a sonogram was done, and it indicated the baby was 9 weeks old. Immediately, when N* heard that, she said, "Oh, NOW there might be somebody else who could be the father." This is the guy she does not want to be contacted for possible paternity. When pressed, she just says she knows it could not be him. This PRINCESS thinks there are couples lined up who live within a few miles of my home WILLING to pay for their own attorney fees, HER attorney fees, HER counselling & therapy costs, all the medical expenses I've paid out of MY pocket, DNA tests for her, baby, and PSD's, and she doesn't need to provide ALL the names "because I don't THINK it could be him." She sure wasn't THINKING when she was having unprotected sex with FOUR PSDs in a two week period. Heck, I was the one who paid the co-pay for birth control pills! But when one of the PSDs sent a message to her on "my(evil wicked site)space" which said "U wanna make a babi wit me?" Her reply was "ne time ne whare". (She has no idea I've seen it, but then again, she doesn't give me much credit for brains...) At one point at the meeting today, the attorney explained that if one of the PSDs contests the adoption, the judge could order the potential adoptive couple to pay for an attorney to represent HIM. I'd had it...I said, "That makes me want to ask where the restroom is located, as I feel the sudden urge to put a finger down my throat." N* gave me THAT look. I told her that up to this point, I was acting more like this child's father than any of the PSDs - I work 50-60 hours a week, I shop, I cook, I provide the home, I provide the transportation, I provided the maternity clothes, I paid for the dentist bills, the new eyeglasses and contacts she needs, the haircut she got yesterday....Where are the PSDs when it is time to shell out the money? Where are the PSDs when she needs to see the doctor, go to the ER, when she wakes up in the middle of the night with pain? No where to be found. Where are the BABY's rights? Over the weekend N* had begun to actually do some small things around the house without my asking her to do them (putting the dishes away, folding the towels and washcloths) - I had planned to post something about her recent nesting behavior - giving recognition where it was due - yeah right. Now I feel like it is more difficult child manipulation. If you've stuck with me this far, thanks for letting me vent.