Hi folks... I just found this forum today, and thought I would try to get some perspective on a recent situation. I have two children both grown, daughter has had emotional problems, is married, and has a 5 yr old. She is currently expecting another any day. We have had a rocky relationship since her teen years, with intermittent periods where things are good. She is a very black and white thinker, and the master of debate...Yes, she was actually on the speech and debate team in high school for 4 years. She has an eating disorder, and binges, but seems to be doing well in the pregnancy. I realize she is under a lot of stress, as her husband works out of state during the week, she is currently a stay at home Mom.
Now, to what brings me here... I've had a good relationship with my granddaughter, and last week took her to see a movie. I am divorced and a male friend asked if he could join us, and I told him that would be fine. We met at the theater, watched the movie, he drove himself home, and I drove my grand to my house to spend the night. The next morning I took her home, and all was well. A few days later my daughter called to tell me that she does not want her daughter to meet my friends "unless they are like family, or she has met them first" I was completely taken back by this, and shocked is an understatement. I asked her if she thought I would let harm come to the grand, and she didn't reply but to say that if I wanted to spend time with the granddaughter, then it should be "alone time" with her. I told her that I had to get back to work, but would call her later. She said I didn't have to call her back, it wasn't a discussion. Daughter has been in therapy for nearly a year every week, but it seems like things are getting worse instead of better. I have not called her since this conversation. A little bit about the grand...as an only child, for 5 yrs she has a hard time letting adults talk, and every visit is "play with me" demands. She is a sweetheart, but she does want constant attention. She also told me that her mommy "never thinks" of me. This came after an observation from the grand that they had dinner with her g-pop, my ex and his g/f as a family, but not with me. She said this in front of my daughter, who immediately invited me to dinner lol I am confused, and hurt...but don't want to add any further stress to my daughter who is getting ready to have a baby soon. Any ideas on the best approach to this situation..?
As a grandparent, I love to show off the grand to my friends, but this is now against the rules. My daughter is grown, so I have many friends that she hasn't met, and I don't see why that should be a problem. In addition, on Grandparents Day this year, I got a phone call...which wouldn't be odd if we lived a distance away, but our distance is 4 blocks. Thanks for letting me vent....ideas, suggestions, comments...would be much appreciated !
RN
Now, to what brings me here... I've had a good relationship with my granddaughter, and last week took her to see a movie. I am divorced and a male friend asked if he could join us, and I told him that would be fine. We met at the theater, watched the movie, he drove himself home, and I drove my grand to my house to spend the night. The next morning I took her home, and all was well. A few days later my daughter called to tell me that she does not want her daughter to meet my friends "unless they are like family, or she has met them first" I was completely taken back by this, and shocked is an understatement. I asked her if she thought I would let harm come to the grand, and she didn't reply but to say that if I wanted to spend time with the granddaughter, then it should be "alone time" with her. I told her that I had to get back to work, but would call her later. She said I didn't have to call her back, it wasn't a discussion. Daughter has been in therapy for nearly a year every week, but it seems like things are getting worse instead of better. I have not called her since this conversation. A little bit about the grand...as an only child, for 5 yrs she has a hard time letting adults talk, and every visit is "play with me" demands. She is a sweetheart, but she does want constant attention. She also told me that her mommy "never thinks" of me. This came after an observation from the grand that they had dinner with her g-pop, my ex and his g/f as a family, but not with me. She said this in front of my daughter, who immediately invited me to dinner lol I am confused, and hurt...but don't want to add any further stress to my daughter who is getting ready to have a baby soon. Any ideas on the best approach to this situation..?
As a grandparent, I love to show off the grand to my friends, but this is now against the rules. My daughter is grown, so I have many friends that she hasn't met, and I don't see why that should be a problem. In addition, on Grandparents Day this year, I got a phone call...which wouldn't be odd if we lived a distance away, but our distance is 4 blocks. Thanks for letting me vent....ideas, suggestions, comments...would be much appreciated !
RN