RN0441
100% better than I was but not at 100% yet
My 20 year old son has been in rehab since Monday because we were going to evict him after a few months of on and off drug use, stealing, lying and not following any house rules. The only thing positive he was doing is taking two college courses which he thought would keep us from doing anything to upset the apple cart. We actually may have let him finish out the semester if things hadn't gotten so crazy. Amazing what we can put up with isn't it.
We now will probably lose our college money unless we can appeal to the college board to refund it due to his hospitalization so we are working on that.
He called me three times yesterday to talk but I am very angry and have been very mean to him. I can't help it. I feel like this last relapse with him was the most horrible yet. Booze, benzos and weed. Stole my new car for a short time, sold small things from our family to fund. He used his nice phone for drug contacts. He used his car to go to a doctor to get benzos on my insurance.
I mentioned last night to him that I didn't think he would be ready to come home after 30 days there and he said then he would walk out of there right now if he couldn't come home. I didn't back down but I figured I'd wait until he is there longer before I bring up sober living. He says he is there because he wants to change but I reminded him he is there because we were going to evict him.
He says he's the youngest and it's all men his dad's age. I seriously doubt that but I told him that is how he will be. His dad's age going to rehab. He says he can stay sober and that I am looking at the past. Well the past was just last week!!
I want to be supportive and encouraging but I feel so angry. I hung up on him after he threatened to walk out of there and told him to quit calling me every day because he just gets me upset. He called me back later and said that he did not want to fight with me. That he does not want to get me upset. That he is "there" and he has been sober one day (big whip I wanted to say). When I get upset he is upset and he is alone (quiver in voice).
He is going to call today I know. I am so broken by his behaviors. I don't know how to act or what to say or how to be. I did tell him yesterday that we love him but we will no longer enable him. I have read here we should tell them that but I honestly wish he'd leave me alone. My husband supports any of my decisions.
We now will probably lose our college money unless we can appeal to the college board to refund it due to his hospitalization so we are working on that.
He called me three times yesterday to talk but I am very angry and have been very mean to him. I can't help it. I feel like this last relapse with him was the most horrible yet. Booze, benzos and weed. Stole my new car for a short time, sold small things from our family to fund. He used his nice phone for drug contacts. He used his car to go to a doctor to get benzos on my insurance.
I mentioned last night to him that I didn't think he would be ready to come home after 30 days there and he said then he would walk out of there right now if he couldn't come home. I didn't back down but I figured I'd wait until he is there longer before I bring up sober living. He says he is there because he wants to change but I reminded him he is there because we were going to evict him.
He says he's the youngest and it's all men his dad's age. I seriously doubt that but I told him that is how he will be. His dad's age going to rehab. He says he can stay sober and that I am looking at the past. Well the past was just last week!!
I want to be supportive and encouraging but I feel so angry. I hung up on him after he threatened to walk out of there and told him to quit calling me every day because he just gets me upset. He called me back later and said that he did not want to fight with me. That he does not want to get me upset. That he is "there" and he has been sober one day (big whip I wanted to say). When I get upset he is upset and he is alone (quiver in voice).
He is going to call today I know. I am so broken by his behaviors. I don't know how to act or what to say or how to be. I did tell him yesterday that we love him but we will no longer enable him. I have read here we should tell them that but I honestly wish he'd leave me alone. My husband supports any of my decisions.