Although our in-laws were informed on difficult child's bahavior, diagnoses, ect. It seems they thought it was a case of lack of disapline. I told them, that the change in routine & environment, time difference (we traveled to the other coast) could cause his behavoir to be even more challenging than usual. Once out there he was very aggressive WHEN PROVOKED. At one point my sister in law daughter took difficult child shoes and was wearing them. When he saw he took them from her, with no concern for knocking her down and tearing them off. Also, when ever my sister in law kids got in his personal space, he lashed out physically. I tried talking to sister in law and her kids, although they were too young to understand, but sister in law (who is an ass anyway) just insisted difficult child was a bad kid. On day 2 difficult child had such a horrible meltdown, including self injury. My husband had to restrain him because he was hurting himself (head banging, scratching) During this, sister in law said to difficult child (as if he was listening during this melt down) "We don't want to hear you yelling like this". My husband said afterwards, to his sister, if you can't see something is not right after watching that meltdown, then your an idiot. He put her in her place as much as he could, but she just as dense as they come. I found myself going head to head with her daily, all the while trying to manage difficult child worsening behavoir. Also, we were only feeding difficult child his preferred foods. sister in law was very offended difficult child (he's 4) was not eating her cooking. Actually, one afternoon she dished him out some slop she had made, and set him off by putting it infront of him at the table, when he already had a preferred food. He lost it, and began screaming and gagging. And yelling as her that her cooking was gross and disgusting. While I wanted to manage his behavoir, I saw her actions as passive aggressive towards my son. She was told not to give him any food that he doesn't know. She was told it would set him off. And she snuck and did it anyway. Yes, she was a real witch, with a "B". Its not like my sister in law is a great person. She was generally miserable, and angry at nearly everything throughout our stay. Even things that had nothing to do with us. Her and I also had run ins not related to difficult child. She was like the grinch meets Scrooge! Cheap and grumpy. We left (were asked to leave) two days before Christmas and drove cross country to home. My husband and I felt so bad being in a hotel for Christmas. Though I must say, to our surprise, difficult child's behavoir did a 180 as soon as we left. He was happier on the road. No meltdowns the whole (4 day) trip. It was like the toxic environment of my sister in law house was getting to him. I was just amazed at how much his behavoir improved after we left. I just wanted to share this somewhere. My husband is so mortified by his family's behavoir that he doesn't want to tell anyone the real reason we left. So I haven't really been able to vent this, other than to a few very close friends. It just feels good to get it out somewhere.