PatriotsGirl
Well-Known Member
Someone bailed her out. I have no idea who. It was through a bonding company. I give up.
And she is in jail.....
- Thread starter PatriotsGirl
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AmericanGirl
Member
Oh Geez....I am sorry PG.
You are doing the right things. Just wish others would as well.
remember (and I know you know this), you didn't cause it, you didn't create it and you can't cure it.
*Praying for God to send you peace.
You are doing the right things. Just wish others would as well.
remember (and I know you know this), you didn't cause it, you didn't create it and you can't cure it.
*Praying for God to send you peace.
lovemysons
Well-Known Member
OMG...
She is determined to get her way huh? I wish she could see clearly what is best for her and baby.
You're a good mom PG...You have tried so hard for her and she is derailing your efforts.
Time to let her own her consequences.
Hang in there,
LMS
She is determined to get her way huh? I wish she could see clearly what is best for her and baby.
You're a good mom PG...You have tried so hard for her and she is derailing your efforts.
Time to let her own her consequences.
Hang in there,
LMS
PatriotsGirl
Well-Known Member
I haven't any idea. I assume there will be...maybe I will hear from the prosecutor tomorrow though it is too late. Who knows if she will even go to the court date... 
I just want to curl up and cry.
I feel like because I didn't go bail her out and make it a bond condition that I missed my chance to get her any real help. I should have went and paid and made sure no one else could do it...
I just want to curl up and cry. I feel like because I didn't go bail her out and make it a bond condition that I missed my chance to get her any real help. I should have went and paid and made sure no one else could do it...
S
Signorina
Guest
I am so sorry PG.
You know PG, you had hope that *this* could be the pivot point and on all your behalf all shared in that hope. We never give up hope and I don't think we'd like ourselves if we did. So don't beat yourself up. We all know firsthand that our hopes get dashed pretty regularly. S'OK. You feel worse off than you did a few days ago because you let hope in. Please don't let it get to you. XO
You know PG, you had hope that *this* could be the pivot point and on all your behalf all shared in that hope. We never give up hope and I don't think we'd like ourselves if we did. So don't beat yourself up. We all know firsthand that our hopes get dashed pretty regularly. S'OK. You feel worse off than you did a few days ago because you let hope in. Please don't let it get to you. XO
S
Signorina
Guest
OH PG my sweet dear friend PG - we were posting at the same time, so I didn't see your reply.
Your daughter missed one more of many opportunities to get help. Willingly, unwillingly, time and time again. But you know, I know and most importantly SHE knows that the opportunity to get help is one phone call away. YOU HAVE MADE IT PERFECTLY CLEAR TO HER. The opportunity still lives. But SHE has to make that phonecall and that means she has to want help. I know we all think that when our kids refuse help that if we could find a tiny crack in their demeanor somewhere to force them into getting help that they would get a foothold on wellness and that sobriety could catch hold. But the reality is that she has to want it, she has to reach for it and she has to do the work. I know you feel like you let her and yourself down but not being able to exploit her jail time into the catalyst for rehab - but you didn't fail and you did EVERYTHING you could. You cannot direct her. Goodness knows if we had any ability to direct our kids, they'd be perfect high achievers. We don't. We are not that powerful. It's not in our ability. And it hoovers.
I know that if any one of us wrote the words above, you'd be one of the first writing a reply to set us straight and to nurture our hurting mommy heart. Nurture your own mommy heart they way you have nurtured my own and our board sisters' hurting hearts so many times. I am so sorry you are hurting.
Your daughter missed one more of many opportunities to get help. Willingly, unwillingly, time and time again. But you know, I know and most importantly SHE knows that the opportunity to get help is one phone call away. YOU HAVE MADE IT PERFECTLY CLEAR TO HER. The opportunity still lives. But SHE has to make that phonecall and that means she has to want help. I know we all think that when our kids refuse help that if we could find a tiny crack in their demeanor somewhere to force them into getting help that they would get a foothold on wellness and that sobriety could catch hold. But the reality is that she has to want it, she has to reach for it and she has to do the work. I know you feel like you let her and yourself down but not being able to exploit her jail time into the catalyst for rehab - but you didn't fail and you did EVERYTHING you could. You cannot direct her. Goodness knows if we had any ability to direct our kids, they'd be perfect high achievers. We don't. We are not that powerful. It's not in our ability. And it hoovers.
I know that if any one of us wrote the words above, you'd be one of the first writing a reply to set us straight and to nurture our hurting mommy heart. Nurture your own mommy heart they way you have nurtured my own and our board sisters' hurting hearts so many times. I am so sorry you are hurting.
PatriotsGirl
Well-Known Member
Her friend Stacey bailed her out. This friend who has been begging difficult child to get clean for years now. I made sure I messaged her and let her know she single handedly messed everything up by bailing difficult child out. Good going. May as well just shove a meth pipe into that baby's mouth!
I told difficult child this morning that if she didn't make a doctors appointment immediately that I was calling DFCS. She told me she already has one for the 17th. I call BS. But I told her how upset I was and that I would call DFCS in a HEARTBEAT to protect my grandchild!!
I'm ******, heartbroken and hopeless. Having myself a good hard cry this morning...
I told difficult child this morning that if she didn't make a doctors appointment immediately that I was calling DFCS. She told me she already has one for the 17th. I call BS. But I told her how upset I was and that I would call DFCS in a HEARTBEAT to protect my grandchild!!
I'm ******, heartbroken and hopeless. Having myself a good hard cry this morning...
AnnieO
Shooting from the Hip
PG... You have done EVERYTHING, EVERYTHING you could. Bailing her out wouldn't have helped... Because obviously she hasn't burned all her bridges or Stacey would not have bailed her. But - honey - you can't control her... It would be better if you could, I know.
Cry, because it does help. And rant and rave and vent to us.
Cry, because it does help. And rant and rave and vent to us.
I'm sorry PG. Sending hugs and prayers that somehow this all works out for you, for your difficult child, for the baby..........
PatriotsGirl
Well-Known Member
The jail made her a doctor's appointment with the health department for next week. Well, gee, at least they did something.....ugh.
PatriotsGirl
Well-Known Member
Thank you everyone - needing the hugs today....I was so mad I kind of exploded on her through text this morning...
But, in looking at her phone records, I know that she just called her bond company and then she called pre-trial services. Maybe, just maybe something good will come out of this. Pre-trial services was what the court solicitor was offering which included a drug & alcohol assessment and any treatment recommended. Praying now that they know her history, they will help....
But, in looking at her phone records, I know that she just called her bond company and then she called pre-trial services. Maybe, just maybe something good will come out of this. Pre-trial services was what the court solicitor was offering which included a drug & alcohol assessment and any treatment recommended. Praying now that they know her history, they will help....
DammitJanet
Well-Known Member
PG....you know she will probably miss a court date and end up with a warrant out for her and then the next time the bail will either be higher or she will be no bond. Or no bail bondsmen will touch her, especially with just friends with no collateral to put up. I wonder how many of her friends are willing to put up their cars or houses for her?
Jails actually have maternity wards in them where inmates who are awaiting trial but are pregnant are held together. Some even have sections set up so that the foster parents or whoever is taking care of the baby can bring the child back to the jail to visit the parent every month or so to build up that bond. They give the mother's parenting classes. Your daughter will be able to have input into looking for the foster parent if that is what the court feels is best at this time. (I watch tons of jail shows)
I would give it just a matter of time before she ends up back in jail and its for a much longer time. Probably until at least the birth. You can decide at that point if you want to have anything to do with her then. Lots of times the mom is her coach even if she isnt the one who is taking the baby home. Just a thought.
Jails actually have maternity wards in them where inmates who are awaiting trial but are pregnant are held together. Some even have sections set up so that the foster parents or whoever is taking care of the baby can bring the child back to the jail to visit the parent every month or so to build up that bond. They give the mother's parenting classes. Your daughter will be able to have input into looking for the foster parent if that is what the court feels is best at this time. (I watch tons of jail shows)
I would give it just a matter of time before she ends up back in jail and its for a much longer time. Probably until at least the birth. You can decide at that point if you want to have anything to do with her then. Lots of times the mom is her coach even if she isnt the one who is taking the baby home. Just a thought.
PatriotsGirl
Well-Known Member
Janet, I said the same thing - told her since she doesn't seem to think the laws apply to her that it won't be long before she is right back there.
I have phone records showing her and baby daddy have not stopped contact. Wonder if I could use it to put her back in jail? She was up all night on the phone again last night. I am really not liking that friend...
I have phone records showing her and baby daddy have not stopped contact. Wonder if I could use it to put her back in jail? She was up all night on the phone again last night.
I am really not liking that friend...
