Well then, I may as well never post again if I am not allowed to write phonetically. I fear it will take all the color out of my writing. Walsh's Plain English Handbook states on page 68, sub section 418: Effective Sentences. An effective sentence must maintain unity, coherence, and emphasis. Subsection 419 goes on to state: Unity requires that the sentence must expres a connected thought, THe relationship of thoughts must be clearly shown:
Poor: Fred Smith visited me last summer, and he once lived in England.
Better: Fred Smith, who visited me last summer, once lived in Englad.
Best: Well this one time...there wuz this realty guy name a Fred Smith - we all jus' called him Smitty counta his last name being Smith and all. Anwway, we knew Smitty had come over from England and was looking to buy a house here so one day we drove him out to see this piece of property way out in the boonies. The Realtor we knew said old Smitty couldn't sell houses her on accounta he didn't have his realators license in the US yet. So before we went to see this property we decided we'd sit for a spell in the diner and have us all a BBQ samich. Mmmmmmm MMMMMM some of the bestest bBq in the world ratcheer. It filled up our stomache, Boy I had to pull back the rains on them horses to keep them away from the all ewe can eats - they wood shure have been reining cats and dogs in the car from the beans if u know what I mean. I don't like to be pacific here, or get too tecknisticle. You get the idear. Then again if it were blind id be a no idear.
Well sir, we wuz done wit our fud and drunk all our melk then left out in our car to go see the house. But by the time we got to it? It done got sold. Poor Smitty he wuz vary sad. So sad he got back on a plain plane and flew all the way back to England. The End. Almost. He said he had a nice family back there and they were the nuclular part of his world. I'm glad they are there. That sounds kinda catchy. On the way back to England Mr. Smitty stopped in the airport gift shop and he bought me a dictionary and sended it to my house and now have I become a writer, The End.