I would like to chime in here. My mom was 15 when I was born. She was 17 when my brother was born, 30 when she had boy girl twins and then my youngest brother is 30 years younger than me.
I have a male cousin that became a father at....13. Most of my cousins became parents between 15 and 20. One of my cousins owns a Fortune 500 company. Another is a doctor, highly respected with a lage practice.
I was 30 before I became a mother....my husband was 40 when our first child was born.
I was a difficult child, lived out on the streets from age 12. I worked several jobs all my life, and attended college classes continuously from HS graduation and into my 40s.
When my mom had the twins, she was midddle class, and when my last brother was born, mom had achieved a level of wealth.
My easy child is 18 and due Feb 22. My easy child was registered at a private university on full academic scholarships. She has been with her boyfriend almost 4 years now. Becuz she got life threateningly ill with her preg, and spent considerable time in hospital in July, aug, sept and oct, she transferred from the university and is now in our community college and living at home. She got straight as first semester and has been doing this semester online, and has already finished this semester in prep for birth. with straight as. I swear if one more peson asks me if I was surprised it was easy child who got preg and not difficult child, my head might pop off.
Around here, it is alarming how many girls are mothers or who are preg. Last time I counted (last week) I think between my 2 daughters, 15 of their friends are mothers or pregnant. My girls run in entirely seperate social circles. There is some question about the oral birth control used. Possibly the low dose pill maybe.....rather than stopping pregnancy in some, instead provides just enough of whichever hormone to actually encourage pregnancy rather than prevent it? I don't know.
I do know that the outcome can be unpredictable. People you might think have it "all together" do not measure up as a parent, and people you assume will fail miserably at parenting can surprise you greatly. I know far too many 30 yr old married women in high power careers that are not so great parents. And they get pregnant "not on purpose", too. And they need someone to help them thru the preg and child raising, too.
I was jealous of my youngest brother. My mom was dirt poor and just a child when she was my mother. She was wealthy and secure when he was born. She was not playful at all with either of us, she was NOT a playful or fun person AT ALL. She was FAR more rigid and strict with me. My youngest brother is jealous of me. I had mom till I was MUCH older than he had her. My kids knew my mom, my youngest brother was not "of age" wwhen mom passed away (and his dad passed away when he was 11)
Our middle siblings seem to be the least compassionate of all of us. But it is they who had "the best" of everything.
When my easy child came to tell me she was preg, she was scared, sad.....nervous. I was, too. I still am and so is she. BUT I was going to be here for her to go to university, I am still here. I woulda wanted to be here for her when it was time to have a baby. And I am. And she still is getting education. And she plans to go back to her same job after delivery. (out on disability due to her illness) What "might have been" is not what IS. So very early in this preg we decided this is what is.......and overall Life is good......and new babies are precious gifts.
I am amazed most days. These young girls are more supportive of each other than anyone was when I had MY children. On any given day there will be 1-3 young mothers and babies here visiting....the babies all appear healthy and happy. They are always clean. I live across the street from WIC....so they tend to come here on WIC day. I also live on the route to the community college, so they also stop in on their way home from classes....
These girls share babysitting and spend free time together with their babies in the yard in nice weather.....and the non preg non mother girls also still come around and join in the fun. So do the young daddies and daddies to be. When the weather is not so good, they are inside....and I get to snuggle the babies, too. Surprise, I have NOT changed a diaper...nor fed a baby....(unless I requested) and the girls have NEVER asked ME to babysit. they usually go so few places without their babies. They share the outgrown clothes and supplies and equipment. They go to classes. They work. About half have their own apartments. Thye are ALL under 20.
One had a preemie, 3 mnoths early. The girls pitched in and took turns driving the new mommy to the far away special hospital to see her baby.
One girl was homeless before she got preg, so young......15.....and her mom was a druggie (and also homeless, the preg girls dad died of an OD years ago). That girl has since gotten an apartment, and registered back in HS and has a job. The girls and the babies all seem so far to be doing good. One of the "babies" is already 5 years old.
Maybe this is not what anyone would have chosen, but......Life goes on and everyne seems to be handleing things fine and the babies and parents all seem happy. Healthy. And on good paths.