It really worries me when people equate a large price tag with something worth trying. So often, the high price tag just means you have been ripped off. Again.
Example 1: easy child did really well at school, especially high school. She went to a government school while a really good friend was sent to "the best private school". The friend did well also.
At uni - easy child had learned at school to work well independently. Her friend had not, because the private school had everything available on tap. When the private student got to uni she found the services there to be meagre by comparison. She had to go looking for stuff for herself in the library, instead of having the friendly school librarian do all the research for her.
Example 2: difficult child 3 needed access to computer software in maths, to help him progress. We are bombarded with advertising for a particular company that has a very comprehensive package indeed. We made enquiries, were told we had to have a consultant come out and show us the program. The consultant brought his own computer, loaded with the software, and let out son loose on it. difficult child 3 took to it well and it looked good. But the package comes with the consultants who sell it; the tutors on call back in the office; the expensive ads on TV; the need for reports flying back and forth and so on. Every extra person on staff costs money. A lot of the need for extra staff was so they could protect their software from being copied - they load the software onto your computer for you so you can never access (or lend) your master copy. And the cost - many thousands of dollars. We would have also had to buy a new computer because the package is only available on IBM-compatible.
Then we were introduced to another online maths coaching system by difficult child 3's correspondence school. It was clearly different to the expensive package but in some ways was even better. No expensive sales team, but tutors available if necessary. It also followed the school curriculum (which the expensive one claimed to do, but in fact did not). Fewer hoops to jump through, lots of incentives to use it. And it covered a wider range - the entire schooling years, in fact where the expensive one would cost even more when your child graduated to the next level of maths education.
The cost - $99 a year.
The package is still copy protected, because you use it online. It's more up to date and it generally works better. If you don't like it or find your child isn't using it, you jut let the membership lapse.
Much cheaper than thousands a year.
But we keep meeting people who think that they have done the right thing as parents, because they have spent more money. The cheap system we use - they look down on it. Surely it can't be as good, if it's so cheap!
You don't have to spend buckets of money to help your child effectively. Also, spending buckets of money is no guarantee that you are providing any greater level of help than if you spent nothing.
Anything which claims to guarantee success is in fact more likely to be shonky - nothing is guaranteed in life except death and taxes, so they're lying to you, right off. Read the fine print.
The corollary is, anything that says it cannot guarantee results is often worth trying - at least they're being honest.
Some good help is available, for little or no cost. Chances are you could spend a fortune and not do much, if any, better. Read "The Explosive Child" - it helped us more than anything else we had available.
We've had difficult child 1 to various courses. He went on camps designed to help the difficult child learn independence, learn how to work in a group, how to organise himself. He was enrolled in and attended social skills courses. He was cooperative and really put in some effort - and all of it was pretty much ineffective. Hence, in his case, worthless.
With difficult child 3, we have taken a different path. Forget the courses - despite the glowing claims, they are no more likely to work with difficult child 3 than they did with difficult child 1. Instead, I stopped listening to other people ad paid more attention to our child. Sometimes what we were being advised seemed to agree with what our instincts were telling us, so we went along with it. Where it clearly clashed - we did what we felt made more sense.
basically, we plugged in to our child, got inside his head and tried to think like he does, so we could have a better idea of what motivated him and what set him off.
This has worked.
The book - it's a key to help you do this. And instead of having to spend vast sums, and also having to put your life on hold and fill your home with charts, stickers, special equipment, padded cells - we found we were able to throw out a lot of emotional and disciplinary baggage and breathe freely at last.
It's EASIER, especially once we got into the swing of it.
Give it a go. And if you have friends or relatives who pile on the emotional blackmail by equating your passion to help your child with how much it has cost you (in terms of effort, money, time and angst) then avoid those people. They are unhealthy.
Good luck, welcome to the site, we don't cost a cent!
Marg