Back to her old self.

[StressedM0mma]

I thought we were making a little bit of progress with difficult child. But, this morning she is refusing to get out of bed. And, I am actually afraid that she will become violent if I push too hard, She just had that look of rage in her eyes. I HATE THIS!!! I am soo burnt out. I am not sure how much more I can take of this.
I pray everynight that I will wake up to a sweet child that is willing to get out of bed and go to school. And every morning I am disappointed. I want this fixed.
The other night I mentioned to all of you that she was teary about her work, and said she was really trying. I believed her. Now we are back to the I don't care about school, and I don't care about the horse all I want to do is sleep. I am just so frustrated. And feel so out of control. I hate not knowing what to do or say to help her.

I am not sure how much more of this I can take. I guess I just wish I knew if she was having problems, or if I am being played. Just so sad right now. And so angry. I need some coping skills, and a way to get her to school.

 

[Bunny]

This is just a suggestions but have you thought about seeing a therapist for yourself? It would help you deal with your frustration, and might even be able to give you tools to help deal with your difficult child. It helped me quite a bit when I was seeing mine. When we parent difficult children we need resources of our own for our own sanity. At least, I think so, anyway.

 

[buddy]

{{{hugs}}} This ride IS a rollercoaster. change medications, wait, adjust, wait, behavior good, behavior bad, uggg. But it would actually be abnormal for it to just magically go away. I wish that would happen.... I suspect a lot of us wish that.

where are you with the medications now? Just trying to catch up. Did the doctor agree to the sleep study? It seems you really were on to something, even if it was partly the medications, could be other things I assume??? Or are you done with that idea???

I think a therapist would be an excellent idea if you have the resources. I would love that, but it is not a choice for me. I agree we all need it at times though.

Hugs and care, Buddy

 

[TerryJ2]

I'm so sorry. I know the feeling. Luckily, mornings are now one of our best times with-difficult child, and night is worse. It is, indeed, a rollercoaster.

Are you sure the Zoloft is working? It doesn't sound right at all. Just saying ...

 

[StressedM0mma]

Bunny I am actually looking for a therapist right now. I know I need to get some help for myself as well. I am just not sure where to look for one. I am thinking about asking difficult child's therapist when we goi on Tues. I would like to find someone that can help with what I am dealing with. Not just a general "therapist".

Buddy, we went to the p'doctor yesterday and it was a battle to get her to listen. She kept trying to tell me that the Zoloft had nothing to do with this. But I totally disagree. So, after some back and forth, she FINALLY agreed to switch her medications. We are now in the process of weaning down the Zoloft. She started 100mg today, and will stay on that until the 14th, and then go down to 75mg. until her appointment. on the 19th when well will get a script for Wellbutrin. I am so holding on to hope that the Wellbutrin will be more effective.

I just let her stay home today. She could not even open her eyes to me this morning. I just gave up. Called her in sick. And, I know she is sick. It is just so hard when you can't see the "sick". I often wonder if some other disease would be easier. At least then people could see it, and understand it. Right now I even have a hard time understanding it. So, right now I am going with the one day at a time mentality.

 

[TerryJ2]

That sounds like a good plan. It's so hard to be patient. Sigh.

 

[buddy]

I know, it is really hard. in my humble opinion, you did hte right thing. Forcing her to go??? Not going to help anything at this point when you know the medications are not right and she just can't cope. In the end it was best for you too. Your daughter has a wonderful foundation because of YOU! It is so hard right now, but I just have this strong sense from your posts that there is a good ending to your story. It will take time and heartache to get there.... I understand that and wish it was not so. I have often said that illness that affects behavior and mental health is about the meanest thing on earth. Other kinds of illness get sympathy and understanding.... with these kinds of situations, our difficult child's get in trouble, people are angry with them and we get ridiculed and feel pressured as well as our own feelings of frustration and anger and guilt with our kids. It is just too much sometimes.

 

[StressedM0mma]

Thank you Buddy. Right now I just feel like we are so stuck. I just want to sit and cry on days like this. Because when she wakes up, and is awake she has been so happy and pleasant. We fell back into the I don't care about anything this morning. And, I was just getting angry and frustrated. So, while I am questioning letting her stay home, I had to walk away from it. I guess all I can do is hope for a better day tomorrow.