Bad anxiety.

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Californiablonde, Oct 29, 2012.

  1. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    Yesterday morning I woke up and was blindsided by paralyzing anxiety attacks. They lasted all day long. There was no rhyme or reason to them. I had no reason for worry. I just was. It was terrible. I couldn't even eat yesterday. I took my night time pills and fell asleep early just to avoid the panic. I woke up this morning feeling better. Then out of nowhere, right before lunch time today, it hit again. I have been having anxiety ever since. I still have an hour and a half left of work. I am sitting here at my desk absolutely panicking and trying not to show it. I feel terrible. I just want to go home, take my pills, and go straight to bed, but I can't. I just have a very bad feeling that something bad is about to happen. What that bad thing is, I have no idea. Please send positive thoughts my way and prayers if you can. I don't know how much longer I can take of this. Hopefully it's just temporary. Ugh.
     
  2. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    Can you make an emergency appointment with your therapist? Good things and bad things will happen, just as they do for everyone. Your premonition and reaction to these things are critical to how you will get through them. If you feel as though something bad will happen, whatever happens will either be magnified by that thought, or you will know that this particular bad thing isn't nearly as bad as what you were expecting, and you'll work yourself up by worrying about what the really bad thing is that's yet to come, and how bad it could be. I'm concerned that if you don't get some help sorting out why you feel this way the fear will cripple you from working, taking care of yourself and your family, and generally participating in life. That would fulfill your prophesy, but you can avoid it.
     
  3. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    I don't have a therapist anymore. He moved three hours away. I really liked him and I miss him. I am currently shopping around for a new therapist. I have Klonopin I can take but since my DUI I am paranoid to do so. Even if I take it tonight it might still be in my system tomorrow morning when I have to drive to work and take the kids to school. So basically right now I can do nothing but pray this goes away.
     
  4. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I am sorry. Didn't you post recently that you had an appointment. with your psychiatrist and were going to ask him to reduce the amount of medication that you are taking? Did he? Could that be the reason for the imbalance? Hoping you feel better asap. DDD
     
  5. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    Yes he reduced my Geodon three weeks ago but I haven't had any noticeable problems up till now. Geodon isn't an anti anxiety medication so I don't know if that would be affecting my anxiety level now. I see psychiatrist in another week so hopefully we can figure out what's going on. I am hoping the anxiety is very short lived and will be gone by at least tomorrow. Last night I went to bed at seven because I was feeling so bad. Looks like tonight will be another early night for me.
     
  6. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    (HUGS) I am sorry you feel so awful. You have a prescription for Kolonopin, I think you should take it. It will make you feel better. I understand your concern about driving under the influence. I took that before and it only lasted a few hours, I took it 4 times a day. 1.0. Can you call someone to get a prescription for something you can take? You can call your gyn even. Mine helped me for something in the past. (HUGS)
     
  7. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

  8. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    Unfortunately at this point I'm too paranoid to take any type of benzo within 24 hours of driving. The DUI made me super paranoid and I don't wanna risk it. Right now I'm paranoid of going to sleep and having something bad happening. I'm also paranoid about sleepwalking and having something bad happen. My psychiatrist tells me my fears are totally irrational and I know he's right, but I still can't shake this feeling. I will try those breathing exercises when I get home. I just got out of the store to pick something up for dinner and I'm about to drive home. When I get there I'm going to take a warm bath and hope it helps. Thank you all for your support.
     
  9. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I had really bad panic disorder at different times in my life. I'd be fine and they'd just come out of nowhere and paralyze me. I also agree that you need to take the Klonopin. That medication took my panic attacks away and I don't get them anymore at all. So did therapy that focuses on relaxation, but I don't k now if that would have done the trick alone. I also agree that it may be the change in your medications.

    In the meantime DO NOT go anywhere near caffeine. That can be a huge trigger. I would see psychiatrist ASAP. I know how scary panic attacks can be. You need to get help and if it takes medication, in my opinion, I would take the medication.

    Take care and big hugs!!
     
  10. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    I have no idea where this anxiety came out of. I was fine Saturday night. My boyfriend came over. The kids, him and I all had pizza and watched a movie. I felt absolutely fine. Then Sunday morning out of nowhere it hit me. Last night I took my Geodon and fell asleep within an hour. This morning I woke up to more panic. Now that I'm at work I feel better but there's still some there, just not as bad. I know people keep saying take the Klonopin but I can't do it. I absolutely can't drive with it. The kids and I would all have to stay home from school/work for an entire day if I were to take it. Last time I felt this way I ended up in the mental hospital. I can't let myself get to that point again. I'm just going to have to work through this the best way I can. Hopefully the doctor can come up with a new antidepressant that will help the anxiety. Right now it's the only thing I can take since I can't drive on traditional anti anxiety medications. I've tried almost every ssri/snri there is so hopefully there's still one out there that will work for me.
     
  11. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I dont quite get the issue with the klonopin because if you take it at night it will be out of your system in the morning and there is no way it would effect your ability to drive. Especially since I believe you said you take a very low dose. I take a ton of medications and not once have I been told not to drive. Maybe you should take it at night so it would be out of your system the next day or change to what I take which is an extended release type so when I take it at night it lasts 24 hours.
     
  12. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    Unfortunately I can't take it at night either. I still feel effects from it early in the morning. I know I'm being overly paranoid here but I can't help it. My DUI really devastated me and I am overly cautious about not getting another one. I know it's a hard thing to understand but it's not worth the risk to me. Right now my anxiety about another DUI is overwhelming and there's just no way I would risk it. I just can't.
     
  13. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    So now I'm reading about hurricane Sandy and how it's devastating part of the nation. I am safe here in California but here I am having anxiety over nothing. I have no reason to be worried, but I am. Seems kind of silly to me when I could be so much worse off than I am. Still this damn anxiety persists.
     
  14. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    CB, see if you can find some TINY thing in your personal world that you have the power to change... and focus your anxiety on that. Like... the tea stains in the teapot. Grab the cleaning materials and go at it, and "work" out the anxiety. Redirect it away from what you don't have power over, to the things that you can change.
     
  15. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    Well my psychiatrist appointment is tomorrow. Hopefully he can find a way to help me. He told me before that he was at a loss as to what to give me. Xanax seems to be the only pill that takes away my anxiety in an instant, but of course I can't take it during the week cause I have to drive. We'll see if there's another anti-depressant out there that I haven't tried. Hopefully something. Right now I'm desperate.
     
  16. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    You say you have bipolar. I do too and I cant take any AD's. Could it be taking the AD is causing the anxiety? What medications have you tried?

    I am pretty good with medications. Why dont you tell me what you have tried and maybe I can help you think of something that might help.
     
  17. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    Janet, I am on Zoloft for my Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and Remeron for sleep. Geodon helps so I won't go manic with the AD's. No Geodon and I would be manic as hell right now so it's absolutely imperative that I take it. Let's see....how many AD's have I tried? Too many to count or remember but here's a list of some of them: Celexa (made my anxiety ten times worse) Wellbutrin, Buspar, Effexor (made me black out while driving and got in a car accident, thank goodness no DUI from THAT,) Cymbalta, Prozac, Paxil, Trazadone, Viibrid, and Luvox. I can't remember anything else, but I know there are others. Oh and I've been on Lamictal for depression which helped but made me hypomanic and not in a good way. I have no idea what else the doctor wants me to do. Right now I'm ready to give up but I can't. It's not just me to think about. I have my kids too. My boyfriend keeps telling me my anxiety has a very negative impact on my kids. How's THAT for a guilt trip? So something must be done. I just don't know what yet.
     
  18. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    Well he put me on Paxil and we are discontinuing the Zoloft. I tried Paxil years ago and it made me a little manic but now I have Geodon so hopefully it won't happen again. Wish me luck.
     
  19. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Good luck CB, I hope that works for you.............
     
  20. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    CB....okay I have a huge question here. You say you have bipolar but you arent on any mood stabilizers! You are taking a boatload of antidepressants and you are taking an antipsychotic but not even one mood stabilizer and from what it looks like you have only tried one mood stabilizer...lamictal.

    That seems very odd to me. I cannot go near any antidepressants because they cause mania. I would imagine that would cause anxiety too. I also have anxiety and PTSD as part and parcel with the bipolar but also from issues stemming back to my childhood and late teens.

    Do you think maybe you should ask your doctor to do a medication wash and try starting you on mood stabilizer first off and see where you are and maybe keep the geodon with it? I really worry about having all those AD's lumped together is only going to cause you to have more mania and anxiety and more trouble sleeping.
     
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