Bad fight with ex friend

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Californiablonde, Apr 4, 2013.

  1. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    So I have a former best friend who I went to high school with and I've known for twenty five years. I also named her my kids' godmother. It was never anything formal, but a verbal agreement that she was the godmother. She was especially close to my son because she used to work at the daycare he attended when he was a toddler. Well about a year ago she deleted and blocked me from facebook over a silly misunderstanding. I don't even recall what it was about. I didn't understand something she said so I asked for clarification and she got annoyed with me. I politely asked her to please have patience with me cause sometimes I don't understand things the first time around. She went off on me. Told me I was a bipolar victim and she was sick and tired of hearing me complain about my depression/etc that came with it. Also told me she didn't believe my son was autistic and thought I was making it up to get attention. Well anyway she deleted and blocked me telling me she grew apart from me years ago and had no desire to keep in touch anymore. I asked her if we could still be facebook friends so I could at least see her son grow up. She declined. Told me she didn't like me as a person anymore. It really hurt at the time but I got over it.

    Well apparently she recently unblocked me cause I responded to a mutual friend's post on facebook and she saw it and responded to my comment. Suddenly one comment became a whole argument. I thought I had set my facebook page to private but apparently I was wrong. My page has been public for the last year and she has been on there reading everything I have been posting. She threw a bunch of stuff in my face. I posted on there about taking my sick cat to the vet. She accused me of making the cat sick and it being all my fault. She also read all about my weight loss struggles and threw it in my face. She told me she is now super skinny and can eat whatever she wants. She made fun of me for having the same profile picture up for the last two years. Then she told me I was a fake and a phony for not putting up any recent pics of myself since I gained the weight. She then proceeded to tell me I was overweight, insecure, and a drama queen. Then she brought my kids into it by saying they are both going to become drug addicts and live on the streets. She predicted that difficult child will be pregnant by the time she is sixteen and make me an early grandma. I asked her why she was being so hateful. She told me that she was only telling me things she has been wanting to tell me for years but was too afraid to tell me in the past.

    I have no idea what I did to **** her off so much but what she said was really hurtful and I can't seem to get over it. I can handle the teasing about my weight but what I cannot get over is what she said about my kids. Basically she is calling me an incompetent parent who is raising a couple of losers. And I actually named her my kids' godmother. Big mistake. She also told me that she never considered my kids her godkids cause I never put it in writing. I can take all her anger towards me but I have no idea why she is taking it out on my kids. She has known them since they were babies and I thought she would at least want to see pics of them growing up. But apparently she has decided to delete us out of her life forever. So why can't I accept it and get over it? I was just accepting the fact that we were no longer friends after she deleted me awhile back, but then she had to go and reopen old wounds by responding on a mutual friend's post. I wish I didn't let it get to me so much but right now I'm just sitting here mourning the loss of what once was my best friend in the world. I know I shouldn't care what she thinks so why am I taking it to heart so much? I just want to get over this and move on but I am having a hard time right now and I just need some support.
     
  2. greenrene

    greenrene Member

    Block the *****. Seriously, you don't need that ****. Then make like a duck and let all her insults just roll off your back (I know, easier said than done). Anyone who feels the need to make purposely hurtful, personal digs at someone like that obviously has serious issues - remember that it's her blister, not yours.

    Again, block her. Then she won't see anything you post on FB.

    And try not to get down about what she said.
     
  3. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    CB

    This woman is disturbed and obviously has some serious issues going on. Don't block her, delete her from your friends list and make certain your fb page is set to private for everything. If she persists, then block her. I'm not sure if you can block her first, then delete.

    This woman was not your friend, let alone best friend..........I'm seriously doubtful she has a clue what that would mean, let alone be able to perform the role. I know betrayal hurts, but it is no loss to you to have her out of your life permanently. You do NOT need this drama.

    Hugs
     
  4. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

  5. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    If she actually had kept you blocked she wouldn't have been able to see you either. So basically she has been stalking you. Block her. Ugh. What a witch. And yes, she IS a bully, and clearly has her own issues that she is not dealing well with.

    :hugs:
     
  6. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    Yeah she admitted to unblocking me a few months ago just so she could go read my stuff. I really do feel like I've been stalked after having her tell me she wants nothing more to do with me then she goes and starts reading all about my personal life. I went ahead and put my privacy settings back on friends only. Don't know how it ever became public to begin with. And you all are right she is a bully. She didn't used to be that way so I have no idea what changed in her life but I want no part of it.
     
  7. buddy

    buddy New Member

    You know what a bully is, right? This is all about her. She doesn't deserve your attention one bit. Anyone who kicks people when they are down? Well they're not enough horrible words.

    Be above it.....block her.
     
  8. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    Oh yeah I forgot to add that she did give me a half *** apology the next morning by saying sorry she was mean. A little too late. I will never forget the things she said about my kids.
     
  9. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    That she was mean goes without saying, so it's not even a half-arsed apology.
     
  10. HaoZi

    HaoZi CD Hall of Fame

    I hope you've got your FB settings straightened out now. You don't need this kind of additional drama going on, there's no call for her to be acting that way towards you. She's got issues of her own to be sure and doesn't need to be dragging you into them.
     
  11. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    What she is saying has NOTHING to do with you. The things she says about you are things she THINKS and BELIEVES about herself and about her kids. She thinks her own kids will grow up to be addicts because she is a bad parent.

    As for godmother, since when was that a legal definition? It is a religious thing and way back centuries ago it was designed to have someone to raise a child if the parents were killed. Now it is a religious ceremony and has ZERO legal responsibility and certainly does NOT mean she is your childrens' legal guardian if you and ex were to both die. Exactly where were you suppossed to write it down? What would that accomplish?

    She is a sad, pitiful, loser who is so insecure that she has to have someone to blame for her own actions and fears. Once you truly realize that, you won't have a problem just letting her go away out of your life.

    If she continues to stalk you, I would ask the police for advice. Unblocking you so that she can make fun of you and tell you how awful you are is pretty classic stalker behavior.In fact, I would save this fb rant and anything else that shows what she has said. She flat out admitted to unblocking you to find out what was wrong in your life. Her life must be AWFUL at least in her perception for her to need to treat you this way.

    I would call the police to find out exactly what the stalking laws in your area say. Save everything you can on fb by printing it out. You may need it as evidence someday.

    some people are just mean idiots. She certainly is.
     
  12. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    She has the nerve to call me a drama queen when it comes to needing help with my kids, but she's the one who creates all the drama. She is a total hypocrite and I can't believe I was ever friends with her for as long as I was. My kids are better off without her.
     
  13. Bunny

    Bunny Active Member

    I think that people who are so very hateful to others are really hateful towards themselves. It's the old idea that a bully puts someone down in order to feel better about themselves. She is telling you all kinds of terrible and nasty things because she wants to make you feel bad. Why? Who knows! Maybe she's having trouble with her own kids and doesn't want to admit that their might be parallels between her kids and yours. Maybe she just took her angry pills this morning and it taking things out on you.

    Whatever her reasons are, one thing is for sure. She is not worth your time attention. Block her. You don't need this nonsense because you have alot of other things to focus on. Like Greene said, it's alot easier said than done to let her mean comments roll off your back like a duck, but don't let her get to you. She isn't worth your time.
     
  14. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Block her, delete her, make your page private and try to forget about her. Who cares what she says? Think of it this way: it is how I've learned to handle irrational insults. I don't know your hair color, but I will pretend it's brown. If somebody screamed at you about your ugly red hair and went on and on about your red hair, when you have brown hair, would it hurt you or make you think the person was nuts or color blind or both?

    This nasty woman is throwing false insults at you and they are as meaningless as insisting you have a different color hair or eyes than you do. She is obviously very filled with issues of her own and you and your kids are very lucky she is no longer in your lives. How creepy to have her stalking you online! (shudder)

    You are a brave and strong woman with a lot on her plate and you don't need that witch making your life harder. I really hope you don't let her hurt you anymore. She is a very toxic person. (((Hugs)))
     
  15. nerfherder

    nerfherder Active Member

    I noticed that FB settings will change when they have major format changes. That means paying attention and watching all the profile and setting details.

    I quit using FB over a year ago. I don't need one more thing to keep track of based on the whims of a millionaire geek and his staff.
     
  16. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    Midwest Mom she had the nerve to call me toxic because I was having bipolar depression at the time. Talk about kicking me when I'm down. I certainly don't need enemies with friends like hers. My page is back to private so she can no longer see anything I post. I am more upset over the things she said about my kids. What about me as a parent makes her think I would be raising drug addicts and teen parents? What an insult.
     
  17. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    I totally agree with-the others. She's a jerk. Please, please, please try to get over this. She is not worth your time. I completely understand the betrayal and the behind-your-back issues, but you have enough problems with-o her. Hold your head up and continue on with your life. You deserve better.
     
  18. DazedandConfused

    DazedandConfused Active Member

    Wow. She said all that stuff in a comment(s)? I would have deleted mine so she looks like she's talking to herself. I try to make it a habit to check on my privacy setting every month or so.

    Though, I have to chuckle at the not liking you as a "person" comment. I had someone say that to me once and I retorted, "Well, what would you rather like me as? A dog? Cat? Perhaps a chair or couch? Well??? ( I still snicker when I think back to the pinched look on her face)
     
  19. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Dazed, I think of snappy comebacks oh, about a week too late ... :)
     
  20. DazedandConfused

    DazedandConfused Active Member

    Me too, Terry. However, when I began to work with kids I got a lot faster simply because I get a lot of practice:)
     
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