T
toughlovin
Guest
Hi all,
Wow I am holding it together but just barely. I had to leave home yesterday to go across the country to visit my dad who is very seriously ill. This is probably the beginning of the end for him so of course very emotional for me.
Meanwhile my son was transferred from the very good psychiatric hospital he was at to another place for residential substance abuse tx. He was transferred because there were no openings in the substance abuse tx at the hospital he was at. We knew nothing about the place he was transferred to and could not find out any information about the place from the internet. The SW said it had a good reputation but I don't think she really knew either... it was a bed and a place our insurance would cover.
So my son calls once he is there and he hates it there. Too many rules (Ah ok this is always an issue for him). His first reaction was I cant stay here. We talked him down from that position, reminding him to think of the big picture.
My husband went to visit him yesterday and he also was not real impressed and is feeling pretty frustrated. I talked to my son again and some of the stuff he told me I found worrisome. One was soem comments made by one of the intake people about how if he was borderline he didn't want to be that and that he would then just be miserable for the rest of his life! Very inappropriate and that is not something my son would even know to make up... he has no idea of the history of the borderline diagnosis and that it has this stigma.... the first he heard of it was at the first hospital and to him some of what they were telling him was like oh this makes sense about me and wow there might be help for me. He mentions it where he at now and they just tell him its hopeless he will be miserable????
My son also feels the tx is for detox and he doesn't need that. Now I agree he doesn't need detox but he seems to think he has his substance abuse under control which is just plain ridiculous!
So I know my difficult child enough to know that his perception of things may be way way off. We did have a good conversation yesterday where I think he feels supported by me and so is actually listening to me. I can't tell you how amazing that is, in and of itself. He still really wants help with the borderline issues he has.
So my feeling is he is getting caught a bit by our health care system where insurance kind of rules and does not necessarily do what is best for him.... that happens a lot these days in health care and where you need to really advocate for yourself. Well of course he does not know how to really advocate for himself... he is complaining and ticking off the staff whichof course is no help at all. I did remind him yesterday that you catch more flies with honey...
Anyway I do feel I need to advocate for him so that he can at least eventually get the treatment he needs and wants..... and my husband told me yesterday I do that a lot better than he does... that is also true so here I am far away, dealing with my dad and trying to advocate for my son.
I am holding it together for now but know that at some point I will fall apart.
Send me good thoughts please.
TL
Wow I am holding it together but just barely. I had to leave home yesterday to go across the country to visit my dad who is very seriously ill. This is probably the beginning of the end for him so of course very emotional for me.
Meanwhile my son was transferred from the very good psychiatric hospital he was at to another place for residential substance abuse tx. He was transferred because there were no openings in the substance abuse tx at the hospital he was at. We knew nothing about the place he was transferred to and could not find out any information about the place from the internet. The SW said it had a good reputation but I don't think she really knew either... it was a bed and a place our insurance would cover.
So my son calls once he is there and he hates it there. Too many rules (Ah ok this is always an issue for him). His first reaction was I cant stay here. We talked him down from that position, reminding him to think of the big picture.
My husband went to visit him yesterday and he also was not real impressed and is feeling pretty frustrated. I talked to my son again and some of the stuff he told me I found worrisome. One was soem comments made by one of the intake people about how if he was borderline he didn't want to be that and that he would then just be miserable for the rest of his life! Very inappropriate and that is not something my son would even know to make up... he has no idea of the history of the borderline diagnosis and that it has this stigma.... the first he heard of it was at the first hospital and to him some of what they were telling him was like oh this makes sense about me and wow there might be help for me. He mentions it where he at now and they just tell him its hopeless he will be miserable????
My son also feels the tx is for detox and he doesn't need that. Now I agree he doesn't need detox but he seems to think he has his substance abuse under control which is just plain ridiculous!
So I know my difficult child enough to know that his perception of things may be way way off. We did have a good conversation yesterday where I think he feels supported by me and so is actually listening to me. I can't tell you how amazing that is, in and of itself. He still really wants help with the borderline issues he has.
So my feeling is he is getting caught a bit by our health care system where insurance kind of rules and does not necessarily do what is best for him.... that happens a lot these days in health care and where you need to really advocate for yourself. Well of course he does not know how to really advocate for himself... he is complaining and ticking off the staff whichof course is no help at all. I did remind him yesterday that you catch more flies with honey...
Anyway I do feel I need to advocate for him so that he can at least eventually get the treatment he needs and wants..... and my husband told me yesterday I do that a lot better than he does... that is also true so here I am far away, dealing with my dad and trying to advocate for my son.
I am holding it together for now but know that at some point I will fall apart.
Send me good thoughts please.
TL