New Leaf
Well-Known Member
Rain continues on her path on the streets. Ended up in the hospital while I was in class, Hoku texted to say she was there with her. I sat frozen at home, knowing if I went, the reception would not go well. I am the target for anger and resentment from my eldest. It is all my fault in her mind. After reading a few testimonials on another site, it seems to be the standard of meth users to target loved ones and blame them for everything under the sun. I am tired of the attacks, and quite frankly a bit scared of my own child after the last incident. The few times I have had encounters with her in the recent past have been ugly and venomous. I don't even need to speak, the animosity just seethes out of her.
Needless to say, after freezing and going through the racing thought process, I decided to go to the hospital, but Rain was released. Hoku said she was badly bruised and had other health issues, no insurance, so couldn't get medication, then promptly asked to be driven to the same street corner she is staying at, with the low life man who beat her and put her in the hospital in the first place. SIGH.
Hoku, at 21, was besides herself. "What is rock bottom Mom?" She said...... I have no answer...... I ask that same question.
How degraded does my daughters life have to be, before she sees the need to rise above this?
This all happened Wednesday evening. Roll forward to Saturday, Rains sister Tornado (who has her own battles) went to find her and try to get her off the street. She refused. Said she loves this guy. Wanted to stay put. SIGH.
I keep praying for her to see the light. I am caught between wanting to go to this area and talk with her, give her something to eat, and wondering if it is even safe to do that, considering the last encounter at home was really scary. I thought she was going to physically attack me.
I do want her to know I love her and I care, but not at the risk of being hurt physically.
I have enough emotional scars to last the rest of my life.
Wow.
Hoku is right, what is rock bottom, if this is the life she is choosing?
This is beneath rock bottom if you ask me.
SIGH
leafy
Needless to say, after freezing and going through the racing thought process, I decided to go to the hospital, but Rain was released. Hoku said she was badly bruised and had other health issues, no insurance, so couldn't get medication, then promptly asked to be driven to the same street corner she is staying at, with the low life man who beat her and put her in the hospital in the first place. SIGH.
Hoku, at 21, was besides herself. "What is rock bottom Mom?" She said...... I have no answer...... I ask that same question.
How degraded does my daughters life have to be, before she sees the need to rise above this?
This all happened Wednesday evening. Roll forward to Saturday, Rains sister Tornado (who has her own battles) went to find her and try to get her off the street. She refused. Said she loves this guy. Wanted to stay put. SIGH.
I keep praying for her to see the light. I am caught between wanting to go to this area and talk with her, give her something to eat, and wondering if it is even safe to do that, considering the last encounter at home was really scary. I thought she was going to physically attack me.
I do want her to know I love her and I care, but not at the risk of being hurt physically.
I have enough emotional scars to last the rest of my life.
Wow.
Hoku is right, what is rock bottom, if this is the life she is choosing?
This is beneath rock bottom if you ask me.
SIGH
leafy