Big Lie

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by worried sick mother, Apr 7, 2016.

  1. worried sick mother

    worried sick mother Active Member

    My son has told a huge lie about me. He messaged my mother going off about me. Saying I told his aunt not to talk to him, that I'm in his business and won't leave him alone, blaming me for all of his problems. Then he told his dad that he had talked to me on the phone, his dad said he was so upset but wouldn't tell him what our conversation was about , just said he couldn't do anything to please me. So his dad is telling me to be sensitive to him that he's fragile. The thing is that I haven't talked to my son, I sent him a text message and said I love you and he sent me one back that said I love you too Mom. Then his case manager calls me last night wanting to know about our fight we had on the phone. I again have to explain I haven't talked to my son at all. So she tells me that he went to the nightshift staff at his rehab and told them that he was having a panic attack, said he was talking to his aunt on his dad's side of the family and that I kept calling him so he finally answered and that we had a huge fight, that I attacked him and said terrible things to him, called him names, and that I hurt his feelings so bad. I ask her if maybe could he have been trying to get medication , she said possibly. I was later telling a lady I work with about it and she suggested maybe he is having hallucinations. He tested positive for pcp and they said the heroin was probably cut with it. I know drug addicts lie and manipulate but this is a way out there big fat lie. Do u guys think he could be hallucinating a whole fight with me that didn't happen or maybe it could have been a dream that he thinks is real? Or just a big huge lie? His case manager has ask me not to have any contact with him at all for 5 days, to not respond to anything from him , I told her I would. Also, why do you guys think he is so against me and blames me for everything. I have always been a good, loving mother.
  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I dont know if he is hallucinating, but hallucinations are not usually coherant. To me, it sounds more like, at this point in his life (hopefully he will change) that he lied, trying to ruin all your relationships. Did you recently do something he didnt like or deny him money? Our d c are not beyond cruelty. They vary in level. This is awful. If it were me, I would not engage anyone who talks to you as if this really took place. Why defend yourself against something you did not do. Your son is not so (cough) fragile. Right now he is quite the lying manipulator. You rightfully are the fragile one and do not need ti discuss this lie with others who believe your son.

    Please,please disengage from son for now...and his cronies. Take care of yourself. Do not play into this nonsense. Your son is going for your jugular right now. If it were me, id stop playing the sick game. Hugs and calm down this is not on you. Others will understand in time as they get to know what your son is really like. You wont have to say a word. Why talk to him in five days? Do you want to hear his explanation? Do you feel he will be honest? If it were me I'd need more than five days to cool off, but we are all different.
    Last edited: Apr 7, 2016
  3. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Drugs can cause psychosis - and psychosis CAN be close enough to reality that they can't tell the difference.

    What would his benefit be from making this a deliberate lie? (not that we can always figure that out...)
  4. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Ic...revenge or peer pressure to give money, housing, etc. Im thinking revenge. At least that is my guess. But, of course, she has more info than we do. Could be either or both.
  5. Calamity Jane

    Calamity Jane Well-Known Member

    I can't tell you why your son said these things, but I can share with you what my son, 21yrs. old did on Easter Sunday, in the car with me and my husband on the way to the Amtrak train.

    He told us that all the Christmas money he got from his grandfather went toward a used motorcycle and the paraphernalia (helmet, gloves, etc.) that go with it. That money was supposed to be put aside for his living expenses, and it would've lasted him for the rest of the school year if he was prudent. When we balked at his impulsive, poor and dangerous choice, he, out of the blue, said that he is trying to prove to himself he can be brave, riding a dangerous motorcycle, because I terrified him so much when he was young because I choked him every chance I got!

    That was a baldfaced fabrication which made both his Dad and I simultaneously howl with laughter and boiling mad. He did not want to be confronted about his poor and impulsive and dangerous decisions, not to mention his wasting his money, so he told an outrageous lie to divert our attention. He probably wanted us to back off, and perhaps to feel sorry for him. It was so outrageously untrue and unkind, esp. after our lovely Easter visit, that is was beyond our understanding. I think he does this for effect, just to change the subject. God only knows what he tells other people, his professors, his friends, etc. about us. When he was in High School and he had a report due, he didn't complete the report, but told his teacher that his Dad locked him out of the house the night before and he had to sleep on the street. He had another project due that involved doing a family tree, which he never completed, and told his teacher that I burned all his baby pictures, so he could not complete the assignment. It's like he will do anything and say anything that is expedient and will take the onus away from him for his bad decisions. He doesn't care one bit if he slanders his own family in the process.

    Whatever your son is going through, he may be coming to his senses and doesn't want to face his own responsibility for the condition of his life, so it's a convenient mechanism to say these outrageous things - he may even believe them himself! I have no doubt you've been a good, loving mother - so have I - my sacrifices for my kids are like most parents - all I have and all I do is for them. Whatever his reasoning, please don't take it personally. I know how baffling this is and how much it hurts.
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  6. Calamity Jane

    Calamity Jane Well-Known Member

    Hi WSM,

    One other thing if you don't mind, I have a suggestion for you that I learned about the hard way.

    No matter what the reason for this lie, don't waste your time trying to convince him that what he said was untrue. He may cling to the lie even more tenaciously. It doesn't really matter what he says about you, or to whom he says it. You do not need to prove anything or save your reputation. People who really know you already know that's a lie or a delusion, or whatever. This is the truth: whatever he or anyone else thinks of you is none of your business. Don't get into a circular game of, "You lied about me." "No, I didn't." It'll go back and forth and the issue is not the lie but what is causing the lie. He will drag you down in self doubt and you'll start questioning everything you have done and will do, and you will cave to his whims to stop him from thinking badly about you because it's only natural for us to want our children's love and respect.

    I have reached the point with my son that he's allowed to have his truth, and I mine. I don't waste one minute of my time on his false accusations and rip-roaring fabrications. He knows if he wants help it's available; if he wants to wallow in blindness, I am powerless to stop him. What I wish for him and what he wishes for himself are miles apart. Hang in there.
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  7. Sister's Keeper

    Sister's Keeper Active Member

    If I may ask, what does he abuse? Things like meth can cause hallucinations. Withdrawal from alcohol can, too.

    Does he have a history of mental illness?

    It sounds to me like he was hallucinating. Of course, I guess you can't rule out drug seeking, either, but the fact that he reported it to his father, too, makes it seem more like a hallucination.
  8. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    Yes, meth can cause psychotic breaks, especially if you through in the lack of sleep that usually occurs with a meth binge.

    How ever, if he is on psychoactive drugs rxed by a doctor, he can hallucinate if he screws up the dosage without any ill intent.

    I made this charming discovery last night when I forgot to take my Celexa in the morning when I usually take it. Around 3 AM, I woke up with a jolt. I looked over to see if Thomas was laying in his usual position next to my head, and instead saw my late BFF's corpse laid out in bed next to me.

    I didn't freak. I knew I was hallucinating. I looked at things and said, "Oh Sh!t" blinked a few times, and the image reverted back to Thomas. I went back to sleep and woke up about half an hour later. Lather, rinse, repeat. Until 5AM when I got up and counted pills. Sure as heck, I'd missed the celexa and was hallucinating as part of withdrawal. Popped a celexa and things got back to normal within a couple of hours. Rather an unpleasant experience. I'm just glad that I was mindful enough to know I was hallucinating, and that it was probably related to my medications. Lucky also that for some reason, waking up with a corpse next to me didn't scare me right off the deep end.

    Had I gone to ER, I would've been admitted on a 72hr hold.

    I also lost a call center job due to a bad reaction to Lamictal that had me shaking, sweating, staggering and incoherent. I was fired for being intoxicated on the job. They refused to cooperate with my pleading with them to take me to the industrial clinic and do a blood or better yet, a hair test. Worst yet, my cell phone was dead, and they wouldn't let me use their phones to call a cab as there was no way I could drive. So, I had to sit outside the building, in my car, until the lamictal reaction wore off, and the drive(very carefully) home.
  9. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Wow, GN. For reasons too complicated to explain, for a solid week I took something other than my paroxatene and thought it was paraxatene. It was not my brightest moment. However I hear it is torture to withdraw from paroxatene. No corpses or hallucinations here though. Just depression and something I can only sldescribe as brain zaps. The zaps clued me in and I corrected the problem. Big duh. I was taking the wrong pill. Generics can look different from time to time but still....

    Seriously. I don't know many people more sensitive to medication than I am. Maybe you are??,

    Interesting and a bit gory. I would have freaked out! ;)

    Thanks for the info. I do know about meth psychosis. I did not know one could hallucinate an entire story.

    I am sorry about your %¥#! employer and how you were treated. That was plain mean. Should be illegal.
  10. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    The problem with deep psychosis is that the sufferer often doesn't know they are psychotic. Add in the paranoia from meth, and you've got a real mess on your hands.

    I've always suspected that it wouldn't take much for me to cross the line over into schizoaffective, so I've made a real effort to stay in tune with my thoughts and sort of monitor them.

    I also would never use disassociative drugs such as ketamine and others. The only disassociative I've used is dental Nitrous Oxide, and I completely freaked out, I also won't use psychedelic drugs or 'speed, especially meth. Never tried those due to fear for my mental health.
  11. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    That's one reason it never crossed my mind to use too. I knew I had mental health issues and did not want to risk making them worse. I so get it.
  12. toughlovin

    toughlovin Well-Known Member

    There are some OTC mess that can cause psychosis if over taken. My son overdosed on Benedryl (He will try anything) and became psychotic.... Ended up in the ER because we knew something was terribly wrong.... Either some weird drug or some major problem with his brain. Turned out it was Benedryl. He said later that it was unpleasant because he didn't get at times he was hallucinating where as on drugs such as LSD he knew that was what was happening.
  13. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    All of the 1st generation antihistamines, Benadryl, hydroxamine,etc, are what are called deleriants and are just awful to use recreationally.

    Most I've ever had was 150mg IV to counter an allergic reaction, and I hallucinated my brains out. Lots of unpleasant body sensations and flipping spiders everywhere.

    Reading about Benadryl "trips", spiders seem to be a common thread.

    Do be aware though that 1st generation antihistamines potentiate the effects of opiods, opiates, and benzodiazepams. They make the effects both stronger and longer lasting.
  14. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    Correction: that should be hydroxyzine.
  15. Roxona

    Roxona Active Member

    The brain is a strange and powerful thing. You can experience hallucinations with major depression when no drugs are involed at all. I have woken numerous times believing I was choking on broken glass. I learned I was having panic attacks in my sleep. I still have them, but now that I know what is going on, I just breathe through it and go back to sleep. At one time, I thought something was rotting inside of me and it was going to kill me. I truly believed in it. That's when I learned that my brain could turn on me. Dression psychosis can do this.

    My son has done similar things to me that you described in your son. There are things that he swears up and down are real, but they aren't. They are real to him though. He was never like this before he used meth. He used pretty heavily over about a year and I have to imagine it's made swiss cheese out of his brain. This is something I don't think can be fixed. Maybe time will help, but I don't know. In the meantime, I try to avoid him on his bad days and try to enjoy him on his good days.

    I don't know enough about your son or his situation to know if he is actually trying to hurt you or if he is having psychosis. Is he normally a vengeful person? Does he suffer from major depression? Could he possibly be having a psychotic event either from depression or drug use?
  16. worried sick mother

    worried sick mother Active Member

    I guess I wasn't clear in my post, I thought everyone knew from my prior post. We did an intervention on my son and he is in rehab in California , he did 10 days of detox and he has now completed one week of rehab today. His drug was heroin but he also tested positive for pcp which they said the heroin was probably cut with. No meth use to my knowledge. I have no idea if he has a mental illness, he's at a dual diagnosis facility so hopefully they will address that. My son denied all drug use prior to this. If you read my other post, he agreed to go to rehab because he thought he might be in trouble with the law, he's now in denial that he has a problem and says he shouldn't be there. The rehab doesn't want him to talk to me but they let him keep his phone and he talks to his girlfriend who I'm certain is still using heroin daily. I hope I haven't sent him to a bad place. His case manager called me today and she said that he is in denial and that he blames me that I have ruined his life. She says this is normal. She says it's because I'm the one who confronted him and who did the intervention. She says he will appreciate me the most when he is recovered. It sure hurts but I don't care if he hates me as long as he gets off drugs.
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