scent of cedar
New Member
Though I may only be in remission on the wheel of grieving / enabling / suffering codependence for and about difficult child daughter? I have been working with the following books. (And checking in here daily, of course ~ this site is most responsible for husband and I beginning to stand up and reclaim our lives. Thank you for this, everyone.)
Best tools to help us recover from shame and anger-related difficult child issues:
Joel Osteen materials. Without requiring that grief and pain be revisited, the Osteen readings and writings address things like childhood trauma, shame, poor self image ~ whether in our careers, our financial expectations and lives, our marriages, or our health. He actually touches on families in which children are going a wrong way. His recommendation is, as Recovering tells us so often, to pray for our children, and to place them in God's hands. Joel Osteen adds that we then need to believe that what is, is for a reason.
"Negative introspection is the root cause of many difficulties." That is a rough quote from "Become a Better You" by Joel Osteen.
This is what I have found helpful from Joel Osteen:
I Declare A fantastic book. 31 declarations/positive affirmations. The theory is that you read one each morning for one month and then, start over. I read them all at once and then, copied and put them in my quote box.
28 Days To Becoming A Better You This is a four-CD set. While it may seem like overkill? I have been listening to the tapes while reading the book. The CDs are recordings of his sermons. Each sermon is about twenty minutes long. The idea is that you play one of the sermons each day of the month. I have been playing them in the background, hours at a time, whenever husband isn't home. (He isn't so much into all this self-improvement stuff as I am.) But what helps me to be healthier helps him, too. The CDs are changing the ways I had been thinking about myself, about what happened, about where it will all go.
Also, through this book, I have been changing the way I see and interact with, formerly difficult child son. Joel Osteen says: If we don't tell our children who they are, someone else will. Our words to our children are important, however old those children may be.
Interesting stuff. I am so glad I found and read them.
Become A Better You
I have been reading this. I write the quotes I like on index cards, and keep them in a special box for future reference. The writing them out helps me really feel the good thought.
This, from John Bradshaw:
Healing the Shame That Binds You
This is a great reference if you find something that bothers you and want to trace it to its source and address it. Doing all that introspection can be very sad, though. If you have not been in therapy at some point already, I think this material might be too intense.
Here is a two-part You Tube of Bradshaw explaining that book:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5q2tZa1gp8Q
And here is something new that I found. Excellent, excellent stuff.
Her name is Brene Brown. She works in shame and in the healing benefits of allowing vulnerability.
http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_listening_to_shame.html
Her books:
Daring Greatly: How the Courage to be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead
The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed To Be and Embrace Who You Are
This, for music: Aretha Franklin ~ RESPECT
This, for exercise and calm: (Though I must admit I haven't used these more than once or twice since we got back. I usually do them first thing in the morning, just as the sun rises. Very cool, to do that.)
You can buy the CDs online. That way, you can practice your yoga on your own schedule.
http://www.youtube.com/user/NamasteTV
:O)
Barbara
Best tools to help us recover from shame and anger-related difficult child issues:
Joel Osteen materials. Without requiring that grief and pain be revisited, the Osteen readings and writings address things like childhood trauma, shame, poor self image ~ whether in our careers, our financial expectations and lives, our marriages, or our health. He actually touches on families in which children are going a wrong way. His recommendation is, as Recovering tells us so often, to pray for our children, and to place them in God's hands. Joel Osteen adds that we then need to believe that what is, is for a reason.
"Negative introspection is the root cause of many difficulties." That is a rough quote from "Become a Better You" by Joel Osteen.
This is what I have found helpful from Joel Osteen:
I Declare A fantastic book. 31 declarations/positive affirmations. The theory is that you read one each morning for one month and then, start over. I read them all at once and then, copied and put them in my quote box.
28 Days To Becoming A Better You This is a four-CD set. While it may seem like overkill? I have been listening to the tapes while reading the book. The CDs are recordings of his sermons. Each sermon is about twenty minutes long. The idea is that you play one of the sermons each day of the month. I have been playing them in the background, hours at a time, whenever husband isn't home. (He isn't so much into all this self-improvement stuff as I am.) But what helps me to be healthier helps him, too. The CDs are changing the ways I had been thinking about myself, about what happened, about where it will all go.
Also, through this book, I have been changing the way I see and interact with, formerly difficult child son. Joel Osteen says: If we don't tell our children who they are, someone else will. Our words to our children are important, however old those children may be.
Interesting stuff. I am so glad I found and read them.
Become A Better You
I have been reading this. I write the quotes I like on index cards, and keep them in a special box for future reference. The writing them out helps me really feel the good thought.
This, from John Bradshaw:
Healing the Shame That Binds You
This is a great reference if you find something that bothers you and want to trace it to its source and address it. Doing all that introspection can be very sad, though. If you have not been in therapy at some point already, I think this material might be too intense.
Here is a two-part You Tube of Bradshaw explaining that book:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5q2tZa1gp8Q
And here is something new that I found. Excellent, excellent stuff.
Her name is Brene Brown. She works in shame and in the healing benefits of allowing vulnerability.
http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_listening_to_shame.html
Her books:
Daring Greatly: How the Courage to be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead
The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed To Be and Embrace Who You Are
This, for music: Aretha Franklin ~ RESPECT
This, for exercise and calm: (Though I must admit I haven't used these more than once or twice since we got back. I usually do them first thing in the morning, just as the sun rises. Very cool, to do that.)
You can buy the CDs online. That way, you can practice your yoga on your own schedule.
http://www.youtube.com/user/NamasteTV
:O)
Barbara
)
