Farmwife
Member
**One of those long winded, cried until my eyes hurt kind of day posts**
difficult child is in full mood shift. He has a revisited a lot of dreaded troll behaviors. I am glad to report that I have finally come to a place that I can *try* to see him as the kid dealing with difficult child-ness rather than a bad kid who acts out. I don't excuse his actions but am over the anger and am feeling detached in a sane way.
That being said...I am on the verge of a painful choice that has no ideal answer and will cause pain for difficult child and I regardless of what I choose.
The cycling is getting out of hand, or I can see it getting that way quickly. difficult child is almost manic with excitement over school and especially football.
difficult child started his job this summer and for a time was stable and happy. His confidence was up, he was almost a easy child and life was peaceful. (can you believe it?) This coming year is his first year with an IEP in place to help with what is usually a nightmare trying to keep him passing in school. This year is also the biggest when it comes to responsibilities for difficult child. This is his sink or swim year.
He is now obsessively focused on football which was his undoing last year as far as academics went. His confidence is down because he is also obsessed with the school social hierarchy. Though he says he is excited about the upcoming year he seems irritable and his behavior at home is slipping fast.
I am acutely aware that he probably does not have the salt to pull this all togethor. If he weren't cycling he might have had a chance. I see him on a course that will lead to potential disaster. Work, school and sports is a lot to take on for even a easy child. Football is a couple short months but his job is year round and impossible to replace given our VERY rural location. He needs the job for a car.
difficult child isn't self aware when it comes to his disorder or cycles so of course I am the problem, lol. I don't want to give him limitations but I hate to see him walk into a mess waiting to happen. If I take football (he doesn't understand failing to earn) he will be devastated, his self esteem will suffer because he thinks he needs football to be accepted, he will mourn losing his fantasy year and his behavior at home will suffer. Aside from that he will lose any and all motivation. Losing football last year had disasterous results for him on a personal level.
If he keeps football he will continue to have behaviors that inevitably will hurt his academic year. His behavior will likewise be bad at home because of the long hours throwing off his routine. He will get the sport that he wants at great cost to everything else but he will gain a social life, something non existant until a couple weeks ago. If we choose football everything else falls by the wayside.
Either way I will suffer the brunt of his cycle, whatever...I am over it. Right now I just want to do damage control. I know neither option is good for him. I just don't know how to tell him he may not be ready without it damaging him and being a punishment when all he did wrong was have a cycle he can't prevent even if he tried.
Deep down he is a good kid and I am just trying to minimize more emotional pain than he has already endured in this life.
Call into psychiatrist but medication change may not take effect in time...IEP won't help us at home...
difficult child is in full mood shift. He has a revisited a lot of dreaded troll behaviors. I am glad to report that I have finally come to a place that I can *try* to see him as the kid dealing with difficult child-ness rather than a bad kid who acts out. I don't excuse his actions but am over the anger and am feeling detached in a sane way.
That being said...I am on the verge of a painful choice that has no ideal answer and will cause pain for difficult child and I regardless of what I choose.
The cycling is getting out of hand, or I can see it getting that way quickly. difficult child is almost manic with excitement over school and especially football.
difficult child started his job this summer and for a time was stable and happy. His confidence was up, he was almost a easy child and life was peaceful. (can you believe it?) This coming year is his first year with an IEP in place to help with what is usually a nightmare trying to keep him passing in school. This year is also the biggest when it comes to responsibilities for difficult child. This is his sink or swim year.
He is now obsessively focused on football which was his undoing last year as far as academics went. His confidence is down because he is also obsessed with the school social hierarchy. Though he says he is excited about the upcoming year he seems irritable and his behavior at home is slipping fast.
I am acutely aware that he probably does not have the salt to pull this all togethor. If he weren't cycling he might have had a chance. I see him on a course that will lead to potential disaster. Work, school and sports is a lot to take on for even a easy child. Football is a couple short months but his job is year round and impossible to replace given our VERY rural location. He needs the job for a car.
difficult child isn't self aware when it comes to his disorder or cycles so of course I am the problem, lol. I don't want to give him limitations but I hate to see him walk into a mess waiting to happen. If I take football (he doesn't understand failing to earn) he will be devastated, his self esteem will suffer because he thinks he needs football to be accepted, he will mourn losing his fantasy year and his behavior at home will suffer. Aside from that he will lose any and all motivation. Losing football last year had disasterous results for him on a personal level.
If he keeps football he will continue to have behaviors that inevitably will hurt his academic year. His behavior will likewise be bad at home because of the long hours throwing off his routine. He will get the sport that he wants at great cost to everything else but he will gain a social life, something non existant until a couple weeks ago. If we choose football everything else falls by the wayside.
Either way I will suffer the brunt of his cycle, whatever...I am over it. Right now I just want to do damage control. I know neither option is good for him. I just don't know how to tell him he may not be ready without it damaging him and being a punishment when all he did wrong was have a cycle he can't prevent even if he tried.
Deep down he is a good kid and I am just trying to minimize more emotional pain than he has already endured in this life.
Call into psychiatrist but medication change may not take effect in time...IEP won't help us at home...