I saw your post to Sammie but didn't want her thread hijacked. I'm sorry you're going through so much pain. Sammie's situation is different from yours. She doesn't believe her son is using drugs. You KNOW yours is. Do a search for Mikey's post. Barring his anger, it sounds like you two are very much in the same boat. As to his letter, I hear his pain but I also see his manipulation. Kiddo, adulthood stinks! What we want as teens and young adults is a fulfilling job that will let us live in the lap of luxury while helping humanity and maybe working two hours a day. What we usually get is the nine to five. Ask any adult if this is the life they would have chosen and if they truly like it. You'll get a resounding NO! the majority of the time. But we adults understand the nine to five gives us the things we do want like a nice home, car, good clothes, filet rather than just meatless spaghetti, vacations, etc. If we're lucky and worked hard, we get and have more than just the necessities. This came about by education, hard work, experience. This doesn't mean you have to go to college but it does mean you have to have marketable skills. Reality stinks!!!! Your son isn't saying anything new. He's just able to articulate his feelings better than most young people. How do you detach from it? Not necessarily so easily. He does sound depressed. If you can get him to agree to stop the drugging and drinking, I'd get him on anti-depressants. If not, there's little you can do but accept that these are his choices for now. You and your husband need to decide exactly what you will tolerate. Are drugs okay in the home? What about violence? What about out past curfew? Draw your line in the sand and let him know that if he crosses that line, he will have to live his life elsewhere. As hard as it is and if it's not too late, it is time to start fighting the drug battle. That may mean rehab. That may mean calling the police if he brings drugs into the house or comes home high. That may mean forcing him to find another place to live. The odds of him just using marijuani are slim. If he is doing drugs with friends, it is more than likely that marijuana is just the tip of that iceberg.