If you are reading this, please let me start by saying thanks. My heart is heavy, and I could use advice and maybe one or two "It'll be okays". My son is 19, is a college student, was living at home until four months ago when he and his girlfriend sat me down and told me she is pregnant. Her family was freaking out BIG TIME so we felt we had to be calm and prayerful and try to navigate this the best way possible. They wanted her to have an abortion. She nor he wanted that, thank God. Her family kicked her out. We had her stay with us for a while til we could help them figure out their way. It's our sons second year of college. Having lived at home the first year, we were preparing for him to move into college housing and room with his friend. The plans changed. I cosigned on an apartment for him so that his girlfriend would have a place to live and they started talking about getting married. She stayed with him in the apartment for three weeks, got homesick and her mother let her come back home. Our son had been working almost sixty hours a week and attending classes for those three weeks, trying to make it all come together. Her family was constantly being mean to her and to him. We tired to be supportive, had him to meet with our pastor and encouraged them both to not fight with her family - to give them time to cool off. Well when she went back home in the middle of all this, he completely lost his trust in her I believe. She has since greatly regretted her decision. He has since become very selfish. He won't let her come back - which to a point I understand. he was really hurt that she could walk out on him while he was working so hard to do the right thing. BUT he has to know she is young too and it's a confusing time for them both. To wrap it up, since she has gone hom and he has had the apartment to himself, it has become nothing more than a party pad for all his college buddies and old high school acquaintances who need somewhere to go and smoke pot and hang out. I know for certain he is smoking pot now also. He avoids us and her too for the most part. He is paying his own bills, still works about thirty hours a week and attends class (though I fear the grades are suffering)all except for the car payment which was part of our arrangement to help them as long as the apartment was used as a home and not a hang out. I am not trying to control my son, but I can't accept him avoiding us constantly, fighting with her family and now nto having much to do with her. I think, initially, he had all the right intentions and was just really hurt, but it has turned into this - he is now just having a good time with his druggy friends. I doubt it is just pot at this point too. And let's nto forget there is a baby due in a four short months. I don't know which way is up. Please help if you can.