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Hello Everyone,
Sorry it's been awhile, y'all know when school's in session I don't have too much time to post on here. I've been reading sometimes though and trying to keep up with y'all when I can. My daughter has gotten a whole worse this year. She started out high school pretty good but the 2nd semester was awful. She gave up. Her grades were pretty good considering she was in an "I don't care mode" but around February she really became full-blown oppositional and we put her in a hospital for 2 weeks. Long story short, it really did very little good except that they diagnosed her as Borderline (BPD) and tried out some different medications. She came home very remorseful, we thought it was an "awakening" for her, but within a few days back at school, she was right back to the same behaviors.
After a few weeks, teachers said she was worse than ever and pretty soon the school was asking us if something had changed or gotten worse. Of course, her therapist and psychiatrist had conflicting views with the hospital and after knowing her for several years, plus her history, the psychiatrist diagnosed her with CONDUCT DISORDER. It's pretty disheartening. I mean, my husband and I had already made our peace with the fact that she was never going to be the person we once thought she would be but this was even worse news to us than Borderline (BPD). Now she's been in a different hospital for going on 3 weeks now and hasn't called once and doesn't appear to miss us. We visited to administer her finals last week and she was being restricted from a boy for inappropriate advances. (She had a boyfriend at home before that who she has apparently ditched.)
The first time she as in the hospital she at least asked about her dog and missed him. This time, she hasn't even called to ask about him. It's a really bad sign. Everyone is encouraging us to apply for residential so we are. I swore I wouldn't do it because we disrupted an adoption almost 3 years ago to protect her from her brother who attacked her physically and us too but now she has become physical with us, my mother, and even the hospital staff. She steals constantly, can not be trusted, lies constantly, etc. It's really sad. She will be 15 in August and we can not trust her at all. I'm really sad about it and feel like a failure at motherhood. I have to be honest, I'm an award winning teacher, I have former students telling me I made a difference for them, etc. I tutor underprivileged kids every year and am able to get them to pass their state tests, I don't get why I could never reach this girl that I gave every single opportunity any child could ever want time and time again even when family members told me I was crazy to run myself into the ground sometimes over her. I feel like I made a deal with the devil and lost.
You all might shoot me down for this next statement, but my husband and I feel like we can never ever advocate adoption of older children after this experience. And these kids were 3.5 and 5 years old...not that old. We were too young, idealistic, and naive and also didn't listen to warning flags.
Sorry it's been awhile, y'all know when school's in session I don't have too much time to post on here. I've been reading sometimes though and trying to keep up with y'all when I can. My daughter has gotten a whole worse this year. She started out high school pretty good but the 2nd semester was awful. She gave up. Her grades were pretty good considering she was in an "I don't care mode" but around February she really became full-blown oppositional and we put her in a hospital for 2 weeks. Long story short, it really did very little good except that they diagnosed her as Borderline (BPD) and tried out some different medications. She came home very remorseful, we thought it was an "awakening" for her, but within a few days back at school, she was right back to the same behaviors.
After a few weeks, teachers said she was worse than ever and pretty soon the school was asking us if something had changed or gotten worse. Of course, her therapist and psychiatrist had conflicting views with the hospital and after knowing her for several years, plus her history, the psychiatrist diagnosed her with CONDUCT DISORDER. It's pretty disheartening. I mean, my husband and I had already made our peace with the fact that she was never going to be the person we once thought she would be but this was even worse news to us than Borderline (BPD). Now she's been in a different hospital for going on 3 weeks now and hasn't called once and doesn't appear to miss us. We visited to administer her finals last week and she was being restricted from a boy for inappropriate advances. (She had a boyfriend at home before that who she has apparently ditched.)
The first time she as in the hospital she at least asked about her dog and missed him. This time, she hasn't even called to ask about him. It's a really bad sign. Everyone is encouraging us to apply for residential so we are. I swore I wouldn't do it because we disrupted an adoption almost 3 years ago to protect her from her brother who attacked her physically and us too but now she has become physical with us, my mother, and even the hospital staff. She steals constantly, can not be trusted, lies constantly, etc. It's really sad. She will be 15 in August and we can not trust her at all. I'm really sad about it and feel like a failure at motherhood. I have to be honest, I'm an award winning teacher, I have former students telling me I made a difference for them, etc. I tutor underprivileged kids every year and am able to get them to pass their state tests, I don't get why I could never reach this girl that I gave every single opportunity any child could ever want time and time again even when family members told me I was crazy to run myself into the ground sometimes over her. I feel like I made a deal with the devil and lost.
You all might shoot me down for this next statement, but my husband and I feel like we can never ever advocate adoption of older children after this experience. And these kids were 3.5 and 5 years old...not that old. We were too young, idealistic, and naive and also didn't listen to warning flags.
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