Marguerite
Active Member
This is a bit bizarre.
A few weeks ago, difficult child 3's Facebook page got blocked. Someone had reported him as being signed on under a pseudonym. So he changed his ID to another pseudonym. A week later he got blocked again. And this time when he tried to sign in, they insisted on seeing copies of his ID. Not allowed to be on Facebook under a pseudonym, which is crazy as far as I can see, because there are many reasons (especially with difficult children who still need to learn proper social skills) for being on Facebook under a pseudonym.
Anyway... each time this happened it was either late on a Friday night or sometime on a Saturday. Two weeks ago difficult child 3 was finally on Facebook under his real name. I'm not happy about that but what can I do?
It was still a mystery, however. Then difficult child 3 told me that a lot of his posts had been reported. Without reason, he said. By this time he was starting to think he knew who it was - a girl at his SpEd drama class. He's since blocked her. He believed that he couldn't say anything to anyone in charge of the drama class because they had made an announcement saying that they were all adults and should leave any personal differences outside.
I didn't agree, so I rang them. Turned out difficult child 3 had misunderstood, they did want to know (especially when I said that difficult child 3 and his friend who had also been receiving similar treatment from this girl, were thinking of quitting drama).
So last Friday night (which is when drama class is on) the person in charge talked to the girl, and talked to difficult child 3 and also his friend. The girl was told to leave him alone.
So to last night (Thursday night). Drako started getting Facebook messages from the girl. He'd been ignoring her messages until she said she was pregnant. He replied, "Who's the father?" (knowing full well it wasn't him).
She replied, "I'm not really, but it got you talking."
He replied, "So it was just a ruse?"
By this time he was in the house. She replied, "What's a ruse?"
Now, I have been asking difficult child 3 what this girl's disability is. When she didn't know what "ruse" was, I began to wonder a bit more. I asked difficult child 3 to find a photo of her from Facebook. Turns out, she has Downs. As do a lot of other class members. From what I've seen, apart from a couple of random people, just about everybody in this drama class are either Downs or autistic. difficult child 3's friend is another autistic.
It seems this girl wants to be someone's girlfriend, and at first it was difficult child 3's friend, and now it's difficult child 3. Both boys were firm, and finally rude, in telling her they weren't interested. And when they had to get rude is when they found themselves getting reported to Facebook and blocked form their own pages.
I rang again today, told the staff that although these kids are legally adults, when it comes to social skills and interpersonal relationships I think their parents need to be kept informed. At last they agree, and this girl's parents will be told.
The interesting thing - difficult child 3 didn't realise the girl is Downs, even when I could see it from her photos. He knows (and is friends with) other Downs people, but has not made the connection between their similarities to one another. Yet he can spot another autistic person very quickly.
I do at times feel I'm meddling too much, but I really don't think, when it comes to social skills, that any of these kids/young adults should be let loose on one another without a chaperone and a guide.
I just want to make it clear - if difficult child 3 did want to be this girl's boyfriend, I wouldn't have a problem. My concern with her being Downs is that difficult child 3 treats everybody as if they think the way he does. And there would be a big gulf between the way he functions, and the way someone with Downs functions. And without careful support and supervision, he would very likely hurt her feelings badly without even realising. When it comes to vulnerable people, difficult child 3 is a bull in a china shop.
Marg
A few weeks ago, difficult child 3's Facebook page got blocked. Someone had reported him as being signed on under a pseudonym. So he changed his ID to another pseudonym. A week later he got blocked again. And this time when he tried to sign in, they insisted on seeing copies of his ID. Not allowed to be on Facebook under a pseudonym, which is crazy as far as I can see, because there are many reasons (especially with difficult children who still need to learn proper social skills) for being on Facebook under a pseudonym.
Anyway... each time this happened it was either late on a Friday night or sometime on a Saturday. Two weeks ago difficult child 3 was finally on Facebook under his real name. I'm not happy about that but what can I do?
It was still a mystery, however. Then difficult child 3 told me that a lot of his posts had been reported. Without reason, he said. By this time he was starting to think he knew who it was - a girl at his SpEd drama class. He's since blocked her. He believed that he couldn't say anything to anyone in charge of the drama class because they had made an announcement saying that they were all adults and should leave any personal differences outside.
I didn't agree, so I rang them. Turned out difficult child 3 had misunderstood, they did want to know (especially when I said that difficult child 3 and his friend who had also been receiving similar treatment from this girl, were thinking of quitting drama).
So last Friday night (which is when drama class is on) the person in charge talked to the girl, and talked to difficult child 3 and also his friend. The girl was told to leave him alone.
So to last night (Thursday night). Drako started getting Facebook messages from the girl. He'd been ignoring her messages until she said she was pregnant. He replied, "Who's the father?" (knowing full well it wasn't him).
She replied, "I'm not really, but it got you talking."
He replied, "So it was just a ruse?"
By this time he was in the house. She replied, "What's a ruse?"
Now, I have been asking difficult child 3 what this girl's disability is. When she didn't know what "ruse" was, I began to wonder a bit more. I asked difficult child 3 to find a photo of her from Facebook. Turns out, she has Downs. As do a lot of other class members. From what I've seen, apart from a couple of random people, just about everybody in this drama class are either Downs or autistic. difficult child 3's friend is another autistic.
It seems this girl wants to be someone's girlfriend, and at first it was difficult child 3's friend, and now it's difficult child 3. Both boys were firm, and finally rude, in telling her they weren't interested. And when they had to get rude is when they found themselves getting reported to Facebook and blocked form their own pages.
I rang again today, told the staff that although these kids are legally adults, when it comes to social skills and interpersonal relationships I think their parents need to be kept informed. At last they agree, and this girl's parents will be told.
The interesting thing - difficult child 3 didn't realise the girl is Downs, even when I could see it from her photos. He knows (and is friends with) other Downs people, but has not made the connection between their similarities to one another. Yet he can spot another autistic person very quickly.
I do at times feel I'm meddling too much, but I really don't think, when it comes to social skills, that any of these kids/young adults should be let loose on one another without a chaperone and a guide.
I just want to make it clear - if difficult child 3 did want to be this girl's boyfriend, I wouldn't have a problem. My concern with her being Downs is that difficult child 3 treats everybody as if they think the way he does. And there would be a big gulf between the way he functions, and the way someone with Downs functions. And without careful support and supervision, he would very likely hurt her feelings badly without even realising. When it comes to vulnerable people, difficult child 3 is a bull in a china shop.
Marg