exhausted
Active Member
She has been gone since after work on Friday. They gave her some grave yard shifts this week. I was not happy as she is dependent on us for rides as no buses run at 4:00 am. I also thought it was not ok for a minor to work these shifts? So some things have come to light. She was hanging with one of her coworkers who is a shift leader for a few days. Sometimes this girl gives difficult child rides home after work as she lives pretty close. I just had a feeling yesterday evening things were not as they seemed. I talked to this coworker and found out difficult child was in her old run away spot about 30 miles from here. I also found out she is telling everyone she is 19 and that her life is horrible with us. She has told all these adult friends that her parents are only together for the kids and she sees her only way out is to get pregnant. She tells them we have ridiculous rules (so saying your 19 does make curfews and parents who ask to meet the friends seem like we are controlling).
This coworker tried to talk sense into her. She is 27 and has 3 kids and said difficult child reminds her of herself at that age (how do these people find each other?). She said difficult child had asked her to lie to me several times-she refused. She also said that the other friends tried to talk sense into her and she just got angry and stalked off.
difficult child was suppose to be at work last night at 9. She did not come home to get her security tag to get into the airport. I did make calls to the numbers that she dialed on her coworkers phone. My son did to. I know, I know, we should have let it go. Of course noone knew her or had seen her-bull, I didn't believe that for a second.. About 15 min. later difficult child called on a "withheld" number and just blasts me. "Why you trippen and calling everyone? Don't you get it? I'm not going to change and I like who I am, I don't need any help." It was vicious. She said she doesn't care about anyone. She doesn't care if she dies and that I always think she is sexually acting out and she isn't. She even called me names, which she really doesn't do. She said that she knew we were going to tell the judge everything and so she was going to jail anyway. She also told us that she had called her boss and talked to her about the graveyards and was told not to go into work. Yet at 9:15-they called our house wondering where she was?
I told difficult child her dad and I wanted her to pay our son back and we did not want to pay for her while she was in custody. I said it was out of our hands and that her choices this weekend may have cost her her freedom. She said I am goig to come home and be good. I am going to follow the rules and do what I should. I asked her how? She said, "Watch me."
I feel horrible for her. I don't know if she has a job. She probably has lost these coworkers as friends (her usual pattern). And without a job she kind of wrote her own ticket to DT. I can't do anything, but I feel horrible that she continues this cycle of lies, running away and I do believe sexual addiction She behaves like an addict and it is not from the pot. She refuses to go to aftercare, or therapy, or a 12 step group anymore. She refuses to let us prosecute her rapists and cousin which the therapist would help her healing. She refuses or forgets to take medications. (even her new ones for Polycystic Ovarian disease).
She's not functioning and I know she is scared. I tried to talk to her about all this and she refused or put it off. she cannot use any good coping skills when under stress. She has been taught in intensive ways, yet she just throws it all away.
My son lost it with me last night. He told me to let go. He said he can't stand seeing me or his dad like this. He asked me if I had any clue that my life had stopped three years ago. He said, she doesn't want help, and until she does there will be no change. He gave examples of kids he went to school with who are just now in their mid 20's getting it together. Despite my efforts to see the positive, to try to live day to day-I am a mess. I have let my easy child down. I don't know what to do.
This coworker tried to talk sense into her. She is 27 and has 3 kids and said difficult child reminds her of herself at that age (how do these people find each other?). She said difficult child had asked her to lie to me several times-she refused. She also said that the other friends tried to talk sense into her and she just got angry and stalked off.
difficult child was suppose to be at work last night at 9. She did not come home to get her security tag to get into the airport. I did make calls to the numbers that she dialed on her coworkers phone. My son did to. I know, I know, we should have let it go. Of course noone knew her or had seen her-bull, I didn't believe that for a second.. About 15 min. later difficult child called on a "withheld" number and just blasts me. "Why you trippen and calling everyone? Don't you get it? I'm not going to change and I like who I am, I don't need any help." It was vicious. She said she doesn't care about anyone. She doesn't care if she dies and that I always think she is sexually acting out and she isn't. She even called me names, which she really doesn't do. She said that she knew we were going to tell the judge everything and so she was going to jail anyway. She also told us that she had called her boss and talked to her about the graveyards and was told not to go into work. Yet at 9:15-they called our house wondering where she was?
I told difficult child her dad and I wanted her to pay our son back and we did not want to pay for her while she was in custody. I said it was out of our hands and that her choices this weekend may have cost her her freedom. She said I am goig to come home and be good. I am going to follow the rules and do what I should. I asked her how? She said, "Watch me."
I feel horrible for her. I don't know if she has a job. She probably has lost these coworkers as friends (her usual pattern). And without a job she kind of wrote her own ticket to DT. I can't do anything, but I feel horrible that she continues this cycle of lies, running away and I do believe sexual addiction She behaves like an addict and it is not from the pot. She refuses to go to aftercare, or therapy, or a 12 step group anymore. She refuses to let us prosecute her rapists and cousin which the therapist would help her healing. She refuses or forgets to take medications. (even her new ones for Polycystic Ovarian disease).
She's not functioning and I know she is scared. I tried to talk to her about all this and she refused or put it off. she cannot use any good coping skills when under stress. She has been taught in intensive ways, yet she just throws it all away.
My son lost it with me last night. He told me to let go. He said he can't stand seeing me or his dad like this. He asked me if I had any clue that my life had stopped three years ago. He said, she doesn't want help, and until she does there will be no change. He gave examples of kids he went to school with who are just now in their mid 20's getting it together. Despite my efforts to see the positive, to try to live day to day-I am a mess. I have let my easy child down. I don't know what to do.
