difficult child On His Way To Inpatient Again

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Transparent, Dec 19, 2008.

  1. Transparent

    Transparent New Member

    So for the third time since Thanksgiving my difficult child will be getting inpatient help. This time at a different facility and I PRAY with a different diagnosis and a different rx. His counselor called me today and I told her that my husband needed a nudge in the right direction from someone besides me. She gladly obliged and felt it was definitely the right thing to do.

    She said that she sees some difinitive antisocial tendencies and they need to be managed now. She's alarmed especially with the signs of it considering his young age. Hopefully where he's going now will be able to help him. My husband is about to lose his mind.
  2. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    ((HUGS)) I hope he gets better help and you get more answers this time. I'm working on learning how to get thru these processes too. I wish I knew what to say to your husband to help him feel better- or at least more comfortable with this decision. All I can suggest is to push for getting questions answered and supports in place while your difficult child is in the psychiatric hospital. I think before, I've been giving in to getting my son released and home more than I should have and this time, I'm going to try harder to get some help with a transition plan and support systems.

    Keep us informed- I'll be interested in knowing what you accomplish and how you go about it. Maybe we can compare notes!!
  3. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Oh, dear.
    I hope he handles it well.
    And they can come up with-some valid, useful info and diagnosis.
    Will he be home by the 25th? I suppose you don't know yet ...
  4. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Gentle hugs for your hurting mommy heart. I hope it is a helpful stay and that they are able to get him stabilized.
  5. luvmyottb

    luvmyottb Guest

    You have been through the ringer over this holiday season. Hugs and prayers for you and your family.

    I hope your difficult child gets what he needs this go around. No words of wisdo, just support.
  6. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    How's it going today?
  7. Transparent

    Transparent New Member

    I just got off the phone a few minutes ago and he's doing alright. He got up and had group, breakfast and now he's in the gym for some exercise. He won't see his counselor until Monday so we don't know anything different, just that hes doing fine for now.
  8. bran155

    bran155 Guest

    {{{HUGS}}} I am so sorry. Take this time to rest and care for yourself. He is where he needs to be for right now. He is safe and getting the help he needs. Hopefully they will make progress and stabilize him. I know this must be really hard on you and husband especially during this time of year. It just never seems to end with these kids!!!

    Hang in there and God bless. :)
  9. Transparent

    Transparent New Member

    Hospital called. The nurse said she was just asking difficult child some general questions and he got really irritated and was welling up with tears every time she'd ask him something. She said she could tell he escalates extremely quickly. FINALLY he's showing a side of himself to someone that can HELP him. Not just us and the kids at school.
  10. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Sending hugs and saying a prayer. DDD
  11. Jena

    Jena New Member

    Just wanted to say how sorry I am for what you are going through.

    It's a good sign that he got upset that way and even welled up with tears. I cant' imagine how hard that is to hear for you, yet at the same time by doing so as you said their getting to see him and his needs.

    ((((hugs))) keep us posted.

  12. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Good. On both counts.
    I'm sending him a cyber hug.
  13. Transparent

    Transparent New Member

    I'm going to be praying at the altar at church today for the first time in 25 years or so. I don't have anything left. husband and I talked to difficult child on the phone last night and he was so irritated. He said "I just don't feel anything anymore - I'm numb" Is that because he's been in the hospital so many times in the last few weeks? Is it the Celexa? Is it because the last place he was at was more like camp and this place is more modern in the ways of a tx? I just don't know but my gut is really starting to hate this Celexa. He was talking to us and sounding like he was 18 years old - not the child we've known. WHAT'S WRONG WITH MY SON?! I asked him if the nurses knew he was so upset and he said "they'd better know! I've been beating my head against the wall for an hour!" He's never done anything like that before. NEVER. His main thing has always been to lash out and threaten other people but to never do anything to hurt himself. Not physically I mean. He said that they had to draw blood again and they had to have extra nurses to hold him down. He said they told him he'd have to stay longer if he didn't learn to calm down. husband found a picture of difficult child in difficult child's room and he had taken a pin and poked holes in the eyes and ears. Insignificant and unrelated maybe but I can't put it out of my head.

    We'd taken the kids to get their Christmas pictures done the other night. I'd had to put it off several time because of difficult child's hospitalizations and here we were on the night of another admission and I just sucked it up and took the kids anyway. Selfish on my part maybe but I want a Christmas picture of all my babies together! difficult child was unruly. Ignoring every request of the photographer and even going so far as to tell her how to do her job. He's always right you know. He knows all. "I'm sitting up as straight as I can. I AM all the way forward. I can't sit like that it hurts my legs. My feet don't turn. I AM STANDING WHERE YOU PUT ME". I was so embarrassed and apologized to her. She said it was ok and she understood but I felt horrible. At least the other 2 acted alright. Well, my 2 year old ran around more than she stood still long enough for pictures but I digress.

    Why has he changed so much so fast? Why does he not only act older but LOOK older? husband and I both commented on difficult child looking 5 years older or more. (not to difficult child but to each other) Even the grandparents who don't know everything have said "difficult child seems different - something isn't right". Why is he suddenly so irritated ALL the time about EVERYTHING? He would get that way when he was having bad days but now it's a constant thing. He stays in that frame of mind. Why does he threaten to kill, why does he pull knives on his brother, why doesn't he acknowledge his sister's existence, why doesn't he have any remorse and why doesn't he have any empathy?? He's like a shell, a robot. No soul. When I look in his eyes there's nothing there.

    It's been so gradual getting here over the last 3 years but now all of a sudden it's in overdrive and we can't stop him. I get more and more fearful every day. husband sat at the table last night while I cleaned all the tot toys up in the living room. I looked over the pass-thru window and husband was gluing a pin back together that he and difficult child earned together at a family outing making a project at the local Home Depot. I could feel something was wrong and when I asked, all husband could do was shake and say "my son.. " tears streaming. We hadn't been off the phone with difficult child for very long so I know it was because of how difficult child sounded. I swear it wasn't him. We were talking to a stranger and it was beyond bad, beyond anything we've ever heard or even imagined from difficult child.

    I better stop now or I'll be late for church. Thanks for letting me get all that out. Even if you didn't read it, it's ok. Does it really just sound like depression? Is that what this is? His new counselor thinks he might be antisocial. I have to call the hospital and express my concerns over how he sounded on the phone last night. Something is wrong and so obviously different.

  14. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    I'm not a therapist or psychiatrist but this statement, along with hearing about what he did to his own photo, sounds like a serious depression to me. This is very similar to what I see in my son during depressive periods. Of course, there still could be other things going on with him, too. Hang on-
  15. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    He does sound depressed. Especially with-the photo and the numbness.

    I have no idea what to say about the Celexa. Maybe it's the wrong medication.

    And maybe the hormones are beginning to kick in? My son's started to kick in at that age. It's a tough combination.

    I hope you find some peace in church. 25 yrs is a long time, but it may be just the thing you need.

    I hope the Christmas photos come out okay, too. I know that was difficult.
  16. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    Oh, hon, I'm so very sorry. I had tears for all of you. Here's hoping they find some answers for your son and find them fast. Don't give up hope, though. He's young. It may take many starts and stops, but there is a good chance they'll find a way to help him.

    As to why, who knows? It could be the beginning of hormones. It could be the medications. It could be his depression, which does sound pretty severe. Here's hoping the therapist tomorrow will have some beginning answers for you.

    On the super plus side, he is showing some of his true colors and that does help in Dxing, Rxing and treating.

    Do your best to take this time to get some breathing space, to learn to enjoy your other children and husband. I know you're commuting a lot to go see him, but find a way to rest. Sadly, you'll need it. This is not a short battle. It is a very long, hard war.

  17. Transparent

    Transparent New Member

    Thanks all of you. He got some of his restrictions lifted today so he was in better spirits. He got to talk to his step brother too and that helped him I think. difficult child said he made a Christmas present for his brother in art. *heart melt* I hope he's home for Christmas. I won't be too surprised if he's not though so I'm not going to hang everything on that possibility.

    OH! I almost forgot. DUH! (where's MY head at) They took him off the Celexa and he's currently not on anything. I guess they're waiting for him to level out so they can get a better observation. They also erased the depression diagnosis and they're going with mood disorder for now. Nothing too specific yet. I like that they're being so thorough.
  18. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    My son is in the phsop right now, too. I don't know where you are located, but it looks like this one is trying to discharge all they can for Christmas.
  19. Transparent

    Transparent New Member

    Wow. We're in Missouri. I don't know how many they've let go where difficult child is but he's not made any mention of getting to come home. He said that he'll be talking to his doctor tomorrow about it though to see what they say. I guess I'll know more then. Considering he's not on anything right now I'm betting he won't be here for the holiday. At this one he sees his doctor 6 out of 7 days. He only saw the doctor once a week at the last psychiatric hospital.

    Do you think yours will be ready by then? I'm torn on mine. Too clouded by wanting him home I guess.
  20. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    This is the 4th time my son has been in (in almost 3 years). It is an acute psychiatric hospital and my insurance only pays for acute stays. That generally means 3-5 days, however, if they are in over a weekend and medications are adjusted (which is generally the case), the kid ends up staying 5-7 days. My son was put in late Thurs. night. They already told him that he might be discharged Tomorrow or Tues. I have thrown a wrench in that by telling them that I need more supports at home than the regular appts with his therapist and psychiatrist. I still think they will discharge him before Christmas Day. They normally have all beds full- except for 1 or 2 mid-week. They only have about half of them full right now.

    Is the psychiatric hospital he's in acute only? Does your insurance pay for more than an acute stay? (You are lucky if they do.)