flutterby
Fly away!
We finally found a therapist that difficult child really likes. Me...not so much.
I've never met with her by myself. She has the neuropsychologist report, but no verbal history from me.
difficult child has moderate to severe paranoia, moderate to severe anxiety and depression - which she is flat out in denial of. In addition, she has a rather skewed perception of reality. AND she's extremely egocentric.
difficult child has always been dependent on me for everything. The story I've shared in the past about how she could tie her shoes at the babysitter's for a year before she could tie them at home, is one example. She's gotten better as she's gotten older as far as taking care of some things for herself. But, she is completely dependent on me for her happiness. I have been repeatedly told I am the source of all of her unhappiness.
So, difficult child goes into these therapy appointments and shares her journal. difficult child has shared part of her journal with me and it's all about how I did this and she's miserable or how I did that and she's happy. The thing is - besides the fact that she absolves herself of any responsibility - is that she forgets the happy times. She also has an art journal that she keeps and she told me she has way more sad pictures than happy ones. Until she went and counted them and they were even.
So, there's the background.
therapist calls me into a session, with no warning, and wants to talk about communication skills.
I have bent over backwards for this child. I weigh my words sooooo incredibly heavily (bad grammar, I know) because she is so hypersensitive.
therapist asks us if we have any rituals. That we should say, "I love you" every night before going to bed. I do. I either get no response or a mumbled, "You, too", that is barely audible. I mentioned that and difficult child said, "I've told you I don't say that kind of stuff." therapist asks how we greet each other in the morning. Well, difficult child comes into the kitchen and doesn't say a word. I tell her "Good morning", and am either ignored or greeted with a glare. difficult child says, "I'm not in a good mood in the morning."
And I'm called in to work on communication skills??? I live it everyday. I already know what it's like.
You know what? I am sooooooo bleeping tired of being the one to make all of the concessions. I am NOT going to bend over backwards anymore when difficult child just completely absolves herself of any responsibility, yet wants to put all of the blame on me. I'm just not going to do it. I'm sick of it.
And why are we dealing with this when there are *much* bigger issues at hand. I *did* address why we were coming to see her - which included the paranoia, anxiety and depression - at the first appointment.
So, at the next appointment, I didn't go back with difficult child. The therapist asked me in the waiting room how I thought the last appointment went. I told her that I would have appreciated some warning and that it bothered me that I was the one that had to set the ground rules that "what is discussed in therapy stays in therapy" (because I was not going to rehash it or fight about it all night). That should be her job. She seemed taken aback. I was much more tactful than this, but she seemed shocked that it would bother me.
I'm not doing the 'poor, wounded child' thing.
And, yes, I'm angry. I'm angry, frustrated, drained and exhausted. I am tired of living the same scenario day in and day out.
Thanks for listening.
I've never met with her by myself. She has the neuropsychologist report, but no verbal history from me.
difficult child has moderate to severe paranoia, moderate to severe anxiety and depression - which she is flat out in denial of. In addition, she has a rather skewed perception of reality. AND she's extremely egocentric.
difficult child has always been dependent on me for everything. The story I've shared in the past about how she could tie her shoes at the babysitter's for a year before she could tie them at home, is one example. She's gotten better as she's gotten older as far as taking care of some things for herself. But, she is completely dependent on me for her happiness. I have been repeatedly told I am the source of all of her unhappiness.
So, difficult child goes into these therapy appointments and shares her journal. difficult child has shared part of her journal with me and it's all about how I did this and she's miserable or how I did that and she's happy. The thing is - besides the fact that she absolves herself of any responsibility - is that she forgets the happy times. She also has an art journal that she keeps and she told me she has way more sad pictures than happy ones. Until she went and counted them and they were even.
So, there's the background.
therapist calls me into a session, with no warning, and wants to talk about communication skills.
I have bent over backwards for this child. I weigh my words sooooo incredibly heavily (bad grammar, I know) because she is so hypersensitive.
therapist asks us if we have any rituals. That we should say, "I love you" every night before going to bed. I do. I either get no response or a mumbled, "You, too", that is barely audible. I mentioned that and difficult child said, "I've told you I don't say that kind of stuff." therapist asks how we greet each other in the morning. Well, difficult child comes into the kitchen and doesn't say a word. I tell her "Good morning", and am either ignored or greeted with a glare. difficult child says, "I'm not in a good mood in the morning."
And I'm called in to work on communication skills??? I live it everyday. I already know what it's like.
You know what? I am sooooooo bleeping tired of being the one to make all of the concessions. I am NOT going to bend over backwards anymore when difficult child just completely absolves herself of any responsibility, yet wants to put all of the blame on me. I'm just not going to do it. I'm sick of it.
And why are we dealing with this when there are *much* bigger issues at hand. I *did* address why we were coming to see her - which included the paranoia, anxiety and depression - at the first appointment.
So, at the next appointment, I didn't go back with difficult child. The therapist asked me in the waiting room how I thought the last appointment went. I told her that I would have appreciated some warning and that it bothered me that I was the one that had to set the ground rules that "what is discussed in therapy stays in therapy" (because I was not going to rehash it or fight about it all night). That should be her job. She seemed taken aback. I was much more tactful than this, but she seemed shocked that it would bother me.
I'm not doing the 'poor, wounded child' thing.
And, yes, I'm angry. I'm angry, frustrated, drained and exhausted. I am tired of living the same scenario day in and day out.
Thanks for listening.