There's fascination with fire, and total anarchy.
I used to play with fire, it annoyed my dad no end. He would have the incinerator lit to burn rubbish and I would poke sticks in te fire, so I could study what happened and the way ther burnnig sticks behaved. I noticed that the sticks burned best when left in the fire; as sooon as I removed them from the fire, they would rapidly cool to just a glowing coal on the end and the power of this coal to set fire to anything was greatly reduced. I would try to use the glowing tip of the stick to light leaves etc, or to burn holes in paper, sometimes I would even build my own small pile of leaves and try to light it. But I was learning about fire in a management kind of way. husband says he did the same sort of thing.
In Guides (what we called Girl Scouts back then in Australia) I learned how to lay a fire and we took pride in never using more than one match. Those who could light a fiew without using ANY matches (or lighters) were respected.
I've noticed my kids (especially the boys) have been much the same. Toasting marshmallows has been a useful way for them to learn, with me in supervision. All my kids were responsible with fire well before they were in their teens.
What I describe here is what I beleive is fairly normal behaviour, at least in Aussie kids. And remember, Aussie foliage is highly incendiary. Not only do we have eucalypt trees with their highly volatile and flammable oils (you could run your truck on them) but we also have ti-tree/melaleuca, and a number of other highly flammable plants such as cabbage-tree palms. Those palm fronds are glossy with natural lacquer, they burn ferociously. One palm frond has to get cut up into small strips, the stem into six inch lengths and we use ONE of these as kindling to start a fire. With cabbage tree palm, I can start a fire with wet wood.
So a firebug in Australia has plenty to play with. We recently saw the result of the damage firebugs can do - the Victorian bushfires were at least partly due to firebugs.
It's easy for fire to get out of hand, for an inexperienced kid. But ANY use of an accelerant such as fuel - that is not an accident, that is a kid trying to cause damage. Or if not aiming for damage, he is at least trying to get attention and an adrenalin charge from creating a large and 'pretty' fire. "Look, it's big, it's hot and I made it happen."
Of course he got a fright. But tucked away in there is, he also did some damage and most of it to other people's stuff, stuff that matters a lot more to you and husband than it does to him. So the damage, in his mind, is minimal. May even be desirable (because it upsets you).
I would second the course as a good idea. My main reservation is, the course is designed for otherwise normal kids who need to learn a bit of common sense and responsibility. But it could run the risk of teaching a potential firebug exactly how to control fire, and make it do what he wants it to more effectively next time.
But if that is what is going to happen - sooner would be better, because if he is a genuine firebug, he will do bigger and better fires the older he gets. Better for him to get caught while young and not too capable at it.
Marg