BusynMember
Well-Known Member
This is so disturbing to me that I waited a long time before telling the story, but I'm going to do it so that nobody else does what we did. Namely, we went into an IEP meeting where the school wanted to discharge our daughter from Special Education (no step down program...no supports at all) and we let them mess around with us and did our daughter a big disservice. If we had had our Advocate with us, we never would have agreed to it, but they blatantly lied to us, telling us, "Oh, if she's discharged it's no big deal...whe can just get her services back again ANYTIME." Lies, lies, lies.
Daughter changed from that school back to her old school this year, the one she had gone to for most of her life. She had wanted to try a bigger school and we had let her, but she missed the smaller school so we allowed her to go back to it. We mentioned getting supports and having a meeting with the school, but they said, "Oh, from her last IEP, you DISCHARGED her so she gets NO supports. Sorry." Then she started to fail World History and couldn't play in her team's last Volleygame Game. This, even though she had turned in all her assignments and had gotten A's and B's on them. She took good notes. She participated in class. She however failed two tests so she had an "F" in World History and could not play. Sports is her self-esteem.
Hub blew a gasket and stormed d own to school. We had told them that she was failing in spite of doing all of her work. When talking to daughter she started to cry and said, "I don't remember things. I need my notes for tests. I can study all day and night and I still won't remember." We took her to a doctor and got an ADHD diagnosis and medications, but ADHD is not something you can necessarily get supports for. So, as of now, she is waiting for new testing and hopefully a new IEP or at least a 504.
Without going into the grisly details, we don't just sti quietly and let the schools do what they want. We got in touch with our advocate, the department of public education's Special Education Dept. and the education dept. of Civil Rights, which welds the most power of all as they go in and investigate schools and also have a lot of say so in the school funding. Everyone we spoke to was shocked and unhappy that daughter was discharged with no step down program and no recourse in case she couldn't do the work without supports. They called the school, which lit a fire under their butts and they ARE testing her...and fast...but it may be a long drawn out process and we really hope we don't have to go to mediation or, worse, file a complaint with the Civil Rights Dept.
Our Special Education Director is a horse's backside, and doesn't like to put anything in writing, but our Advocate is taking over and the school district knows her and is kind of afraid to pull anything on her. They are giving us what we want in writing now, including the name of the tests Daughter will be taking and who will be administering them.
Hub and I signed to agree to have her testing, but added a note about not being sure their testing would be adequate to find her specific deficits. We also put down that we had gotten the advice to add this letter from the Civil Rights Dept. So...we wait and see how it goes. We are prepared to take it all the way to the end, but hope we don't have to. Daughter is trying as hard as she can, is doing all her homework, is studying in study hall, etc. but she is starting to have bigtime trouble in Science now too, another subject which requires a lot of memorization. She is starting to say, "I'm stupid" again. Dang, at the IEP meeting, she TOLD the teachers, "I'm going well BECAUSE of my supports. That's why my grades are good." I'm mad. Hub is furious. On top of this...
Son has a nonstop eating problem that is far beyond the norm and it's not behavioral. He is always hungry. We are taking him to a university hospital geneticist (suggested by his doctor) to see if he has a touch of Prader-Willi or some other disorder that causes the hypothymus to never shut down and make him hungry all the time. He was 200 lbs. last year (at five eight) and he is now at 245. If he has Prader-Willi or anything similiar he will have to be watched the rest of his life or he will eat his way to his grave. But we want to, NEED to know what is going on so we can plan his adulthood years appropriately. I feel totally overwhelmed by all this.
If anyone has any thoughts or ideas I'd love to hear them. For those who just read my vent, I hope you take it to heart and never go to a school IEP meeting without an Advocate. And, sadly, never believe a school district...they speak with forked tongue (at least the ones we've been to).
My anxiety level is really high, but I have to act calm for the kids. Hahaha. I am walking around in a daze.
Daughter changed from that school back to her old school this year, the one she had gone to for most of her life. She had wanted to try a bigger school and we had let her, but she missed the smaller school so we allowed her to go back to it. We mentioned getting supports and having a meeting with the school, but they said, "Oh, from her last IEP, you DISCHARGED her so she gets NO supports. Sorry." Then she started to fail World History and couldn't play in her team's last Volleygame Game. This, even though she had turned in all her assignments and had gotten A's and B's on them. She took good notes. She participated in class. She however failed two tests so she had an "F" in World History and could not play. Sports is her self-esteem.
Hub blew a gasket and stormed d own to school. We had told them that she was failing in spite of doing all of her work. When talking to daughter she started to cry and said, "I don't remember things. I need my notes for tests. I can study all day and night and I still won't remember." We took her to a doctor and got an ADHD diagnosis and medications, but ADHD is not something you can necessarily get supports for. So, as of now, she is waiting for new testing and hopefully a new IEP or at least a 504.
Without going into the grisly details, we don't just sti quietly and let the schools do what they want. We got in touch with our advocate, the department of public education's Special Education Dept. and the education dept. of Civil Rights, which welds the most power of all as they go in and investigate schools and also have a lot of say so in the school funding. Everyone we spoke to was shocked and unhappy that daughter was discharged with no step down program and no recourse in case she couldn't do the work without supports. They called the school, which lit a fire under their butts and they ARE testing her...and fast...but it may be a long drawn out process and we really hope we don't have to go to mediation or, worse, file a complaint with the Civil Rights Dept.
Our Special Education Director is a horse's backside, and doesn't like to put anything in writing, but our Advocate is taking over and the school district knows her and is kind of afraid to pull anything on her. They are giving us what we want in writing now, including the name of the tests Daughter will be taking and who will be administering them.
Hub and I signed to agree to have her testing, but added a note about not being sure their testing would be adequate to find her specific deficits. We also put down that we had gotten the advice to add this letter from the Civil Rights Dept. So...we wait and see how it goes. We are prepared to take it all the way to the end, but hope we don't have to. Daughter is trying as hard as she can, is doing all her homework, is studying in study hall, etc. but she is starting to have bigtime trouble in Science now too, another subject which requires a lot of memorization. She is starting to say, "I'm stupid" again. Dang, at the IEP meeting, she TOLD the teachers, "I'm going well BECAUSE of my supports. That's why my grades are good." I'm mad. Hub is furious. On top of this...
Son has a nonstop eating problem that is far beyond the norm and it's not behavioral. He is always hungry. We are taking him to a university hospital geneticist (suggested by his doctor) to see if he has a touch of Prader-Willi or some other disorder that causes the hypothymus to never shut down and make him hungry all the time. He was 200 lbs. last year (at five eight) and he is now at 245. If he has Prader-Willi or anything similiar he will have to be watched the rest of his life or he will eat his way to his grave. But we want to, NEED to know what is going on so we can plan his adulthood years appropriately. I feel totally overwhelmed by all this.
If anyone has any thoughts or ideas I'd love to hear them. For those who just read my vent, I hope you take it to heart and never go to a school IEP meeting without an Advocate. And, sadly, never believe a school district...they speak with forked tongue (at least the ones we've been to).
My anxiety level is really high, but I have to act calm for the kids. Hahaha. I am walking around in a daze.