Drumroll ... I'm going to be a grandma !

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by Ephchap, Aug 26, 2007.

  1. Ephchap

    Ephchap Active Member

    Yes, I'm going to be joining the Grandma Group. Which of my childen, you ask. Well, let's see, which of my childen gets caught at everything ... obviously including sex? ROFL. Why difficult child, of course!

    difficult child and his girlfriend of a little over one year broke the news to husband and I the night before we were flying out for a two week vacation. So much for our R&R getaway. lol. They had just found out that day, and difficult child talked to his sister and then called his brother, I guess. He asked them both if he should tell us before our trip or after. They both said after. difficult child told us about two hours later. ROFL. Yes, typical difficult child - doesn't take advice and can't keep anything in. He spilled the beans that night.

    I have to say, I'm proud of my son. He immediately went into "father to be" mode. He has been stalling on applying for his license to be reinstated for fear of rejection before the two year mark. It's now been two years since he had his DUI and his license revoked, so he's been spending the last month jumping through all the hoops (another class, an evaluation, etc.). They'll send him a letter and let him know his hearing date. Hopefully that will happen soon.

    He and his girlfriend have been turned down for an apartment because of the background check on him. That obviously limits them, so for now, they are both here, and are saving to try to buy a small condo - hopefully by the first of the year.

    The baby is due the end of February.

    Another drumroll ... difficult child has a new job! He had worked as a waiter and sometimes bartender at a restaurant for five years, but it wasn't going to be enough to support a family on.

    He starts tomorrow in an auto parts factory. He made it through last week's week-long orientation process and starts tomorrow morning at 5 am! Because the auto industry is in such a bad way right now here in the Motor City, he's been hired in as a temporary, but the hope is that he'll become permanent before too long. After 7 months, even as a temporary, he'll receive benefits - including health care.

    They are talking marriage, but until difficult child can cover her and the baby on his insurance, they are holding off. If anyone knows of a decent, low-cost insurance plan they could pay for themselves for now, or any ideas, I would be interested in hearing about them.

    Any good thoughts, bead rattling, candle lighting, prayers, etc. are greatly appreciated as my difficult child starts on this new journey.

    Grandma-to-be Deb
    (I still can't get used to the idea, lol)
     
  2. Marcie Mac

    Marcie Mac Just Plain Ole Tired

    Mega congradulations on your new gramma status :smile:

    Marcie
     
  3. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    Congratulations!

    Lots of prayers and bead rattling going on here. Best wishes for a smooth transition for your son.
     
  4. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Wouldn't Medicaid cover girlfriend and prenatal etc., then WIC kick in
    after the birth for I think two years to assure the baby has all
    health needs met?? You'd think I would "know" but I'm never sure
    how programs vary from State to State.

    I know you are in shock, my friend, but difficult child really seems to be
    stepping up to the plate like a real easy child. You all have got to be
    proud of his progress. Hugs. DDD
     
  5. SunnyFlorida

    SunnyFlorida Active Member

    :smile: Welcome :smile:

    Not always our true desires, and the timing is usually lousy, but it does bring back fun memories.

    What are you going to call yourself?

    If girlfriend doesn't make alot, she'd probably be covered by Medicaid for herself, while she's pregnant and 6wks postpartum, and the baby could be covered for a year. Otherwise it's community care which here at least is bsed on sliding scale.
     
  6. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Ohhhhh Deb!

    Im soooo happy for you...even if it wasnt planned, it is a wonderful gift. Grandkids are so much more fun that the kids were...lmao.

    Just a tidbit of info from the been there done that club. If difficult child and girlfriend arent married, she should qualify for Medicaid for Pregnant Women if she isnt making a ton of money. The income limits for that program are quite high so that prenatal care is received for babies. Then the baby is covered normally for the first year afterwards just as a given by Medicaid.

    WIC is something else she should go apply for now. The income limits for that are quite high. Im not sure if she has to include his income or not since they are not married. The baby would also be covered by WIC when its born should she decide to bottle feed.

    As far as infant items...may I suggest freecycle like I do to everyone...lol. You can get a ton of really good things such as cribs, high chairs, clothing, swings, toys, and other baby needs on there. Just ask. People give them away for free.

    Oh enjoy this! I wouldnt trade my grandkids for the world.
     
  7. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

  8. goldenguru

    goldenguru New Member

    Hi Deb~

    Don't know if you remember me. We met several years ago (I'm from Michigan too) for lunch at an Applebees. Our daughter had just entered long term residential treatment. You were a god send to me.

    First of all congrats on the new status.

    I will share that I became a grammie last January. Yup. difficult child got pregnant and had a baby at 18. They got married about a month ago.

    Initially the pregnancy was a blow to me. But, I must tell you ... it was the best thing I could have imagined for my daughter. She grew up ... quick - fast - and in a hurry.

    She is a tender, conscientious mother. She has grown up so much.

    So ... I would encourage you that as difficult as this may seem ... it really can be OK.

    As far as health insurance ... and since I don't know your sons girlfriend's age ... I can only suggest that she apply for Medicaid. My daughter and granddaughter received it. It picks up a very large portion of their medical expenses.

    Congrats. Being a grandma is the most amazing experience you can imagine.

    Kelly
     
  9. Ephchap

    Ephchap Active Member

    Thanks, Marcie. Yes, this is certainly a new status.

    BBK, this will be the true test for my son - quite a bit of transitioning. Thanks for the good wishes.

    DDD, she picked up the paperwork for Medicaid the other day, I guess. She has to finish filling it all out and then return the packet. Hopefully they can help just until the two of them get on their feet. Yes, he really has stepped up to the plate (not just about the baby, which is obviously his responsibility, but in staying clean and trying to make a fresh start), and I'm very proud of him.

    Sunny, yes, timing. Well, what can one say? lol. I preached about protection, which isn't failsafe, as we all know. I feel good that they had talked about getting married and having children ... down the road; the speed limit was a little faster than anyone anticipated though. lol.

    Janet, thanks. I'll definitely check out that site. Thanks for the congrats. I know how much you've loved being a grandma.

    Heather, I'll have to check that einsurance one out as well. Thanks.

    GG - of course I remember you! I've missed seeing you on here and wondered how things were with your family. Congrats to you too! Wow, time does fly, huh? Glad to hear that motherhood has been wonderful for your daughter and she's doing well. Thanks for the good wishes, and it's great to hear from you!

    As for what to be called, I have just started thinking about it. Not sure yet. We called my grandma Ahhma. I never saw it written, so not sure how my parents spelled it when writing things out, but that's how we pronounced it. I thought it was because my oldest brother probably couldn't pronounce grandma, but in researching names, I see that the Dutch German version of grandma is spelled Oma. Is that a short "o" ? If so, it would be like my Ahhma. So, maybe I'll use that. Not sure. I have a while to figure it out, I guess. Of course, the baby might come out and call me, "Warrior G-Mom". :smile:

    Deb

     
  10. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    "The Name" is one of the fun parts of grandparenting. In my experience the lst kid in each family gets to set the name for
    life..lol. I had three siblings and we all lived near our parents. The oldest in each family "named" my Mom something
    different. She was "Mir" "Mama" "Gammie" and, of course from my
    eldest easy child "Gramma". :smile: At family get togethers it was
    a riot when the cousins were playing and one would say something
    like "where's Mir" and the next would reply I saw "Gammie" in the
    kitchen, and a third would reply "Mama isn't in the kitchen she
    is on the porch!" and then with great authority my genius would
    slowly explain "Gramma is taking a nap!" It was like multiple
    languages BUT my Mother always knew who was being called. LOL!

    My youngest grandchild is five and she calls me "Mama" like her
    older brothers do but she calls her other Grandmother "PeePaw".
    WTH?????? Haven't figured that one out yet. :rofl:

    Moral of the story?? I think you will be named, my friend. DDD
     
  11. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    PS: Just thought of something that made me smile (something I
    need to do lately, lol). Around five years ago or so I was at a
    party with couples about your age or maybe just a little older.
    The subject of names came up. "What would you want to be called
    when you're a grandparent, Kim?" Kim laughingly replied anything
    that doesn't have four letters. :smile: After laughing for
    awhile Kim said to her husband "Randy, what do you want to be
    called?" Randy didn't skip a breath before he replied. "I've
    thought about this before, believe it or not, and I know what my
    grandchildren will call me." Everyone was amazed and waited with
    baited breath. "Yep, they can all call me 'Bye Bye'...cause as
    soon as they show up, I'm outta there!" :rofl: DDD
     
  12. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    LMAO DDD on the Bye Bye.

    What to be called for me was the biggest issue. I really didnt want to be called Grammy because that was what my kids called my mom and it just brings back bad memories for me since I really had a bad relationship with her. I kind of wanted Memaw. Its not gonna happen. Im trying for Grandma. We shall see. She really cant say anything clearly enough yet...lol.

    She does say Papa for husband.
     
  13. Sunlight

    Sunlight Active Member

    how exciting, as you know...I love babies!
     
  14. MrsMcNear46

    MrsMcNear46 New Member

    Welcome to the Club and Congrats!!

    We are anxiously waiting for Sweet Betsy to give birth any time now. Official due date is Sept. 13th so we are down to days.

    I have seen lots of changes in her in the past 2 years and hopefully "Reagan James" will kill the "It's all about me" for good and forever.

    I have chosen Grand Mama, as my kids call me Mama. I love the sound of it, however as we all know, whatever they come up with usually sticks.

    Best wishes to All.

    Blessings,

    Mrs. McNear
     
  15. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member

    Awwww, Congratulations Deb.

    I too, am about to be a grandma (or "G-ma)...young difficult child calls my mother "G" instead of grandma so who knows what I'll be, lol.
    "Our" baby is due Oct 30th and the mamma is living with us as young difficult child left yesterday for Germany and then onto Iraq in a month. He will be gone 15 months and so his wife is living with us which means...new baby will be living with us.
    I've had such a good time with baby clothes shopping, sonograms, baby shower, crib purchase with bedding etc. We even bought new furniture for the guest bedroom that mom and baby will be sleeping in...it's exciting.

    Sounds like you are doing a good job already embracing the way things will be. That's a biggie.

    Hope you have as much fun as I've been having...course the baby crying hasn't started yet, lol.

    love,
    Tammy
     
  16. Ephchap

    Ephchap Active Member

    Yes, DDD, that's what I kind of figured too - that the baby will end up naming me whatever he/she can say. As I mentioned, I think that's how my grandma got the name Ahhma. That's the way my brother, the oldest grandchild, said it.

    Janet/Corey's Mom, I just heard Meemaw the other day at work. I'd never heard of it, but it's the woman's inlaws, who are also from the south. I understand it's a southern nickname. I'm actually from Boston originally, so had never heard of it before.

    Janet/Ant's Mom, yes, I know that Kaleb is the light of your life. I know I too will fall in love with this little bundle.

    Mrs. McNear, Congrats to you and Sweet Betsey ! Glad to hear she's doing well.

    Tammy, Congrats to you as well! Wow. Your second oldest in the service and a dad to be. Time flies.

    Deb
     
  17. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    When Copper was little, I was married for a short period of time to a very nice gentleman. She called his parents (so her step- grandparents) Big Mom and Big Dad.

    Both difficult children call my mom Nana, and my Grandmother GG (Great Grandma). Copper calls my dad G-pops, and Tink calls him Grandpa Lardbucket. At his suggestion.

    I have my very own special names for my DEX's parents. they would be censored if I typed them, so I won't waste keystrokes. Tink calls them GRANDMA (through clenched teeth) and poor Papa.
     
  18. gottaloveem

    gottaloveem Active Member

    How wonderful. I wish you and your family, your son, his girlfriend, and your new precious bundle of joy that is coming, a lifetime of joy and happiness.
     
  19. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Congrats Deb! Make sure to have that baby dressed in Michigan clothes-no State stuff!
     
  20. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Congrats Deb - I just love babies! You will be an excellent grammy.
     
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