Shari
IsItFridayYet?
Actually, his wife. She called this morning asking for advice. I thought of you guys.
This is exBIL's 3rd marriage. He has a daughter from his first marriage, so she's been thru 2 divorces, the first when she was about 3. While she misses seeing us regularly (tho we do still see her, just not consistently), she was not unhappy to lose husband's sister as a step mom (sister wasn't very good to her, either). She is now 16. She lives with her mother about 2 hours from exBIL. She sees exBIL on weekends. Her mother remarried shortly after the divorce from exBIL to a man that exBIL has never even seen in 13 years. He does not participate in daughter's life AT ALL. In fact, mom and stepdad vacation WITHOUT daughter regularly. Either mom and daughter go, or mom and stepdad go, but never do the 3 of them go.
ExBIL's wife also has a 16 year old daughter that lives with them.
Together, exBIL and wife have a 2 year old.
ExBIL's daughter wanted to move in with exBIL 3 years ago, but mom guilted her into staying. I encouraged her to do what she wanted to do, but in the end, mom's guilt won out. Her mom is not a bad or unstable person, but daughter feels pretty rotten about being left out or excluded all the time.
Last year, she started being sick. She missed over half the school year. She's smart enough that she's able to keep up with the work, but her mother dragged her to all sorts of docs and had all sorts of tests done, all came back negative for anything. Her "illness" continues into this year. She is also growing very distant.
Her MD has now decided she's depressed and put her on prozac. ExBIL's wife thinks its making her worse, and I'd have to agree. She hit a parked car 3 times while trying to parallel park and completely did not care. Its not like her to not have no regard for others. Tho she is on Prozac, the doctor did not suggest or recommend any counseling.
But the real kicker is that wife's daughter said that exBIL's daughter told her she's got a crush on a boy at school that is a real "bad boy". ExBIL's daughter just wants a sexual relationship. Plus, he's into drugs, and he has the ability to make her feel better. Wife's daughter doesn't tend to be a tattle, and when she's expressed concern in the past, its turned out to be valid.
Wife is very worried. I am very worried. ExBIL doesn't know, and it frustrates him to no end because he feels there is nothing he can do.
So....anyone have any ideas? My suggestion is to make an appointment with the MD and find out why prozac, why no counseling, and to get her into counseling, even if its just once every 2 weeks when she's with her dad.
I'm also going to make an attempt to get together with her a little more often.
This is exBIL's 3rd marriage. He has a daughter from his first marriage, so she's been thru 2 divorces, the first when she was about 3. While she misses seeing us regularly (tho we do still see her, just not consistently), she was not unhappy to lose husband's sister as a step mom (sister wasn't very good to her, either). She is now 16. She lives with her mother about 2 hours from exBIL. She sees exBIL on weekends. Her mother remarried shortly after the divorce from exBIL to a man that exBIL has never even seen in 13 years. He does not participate in daughter's life AT ALL. In fact, mom and stepdad vacation WITHOUT daughter regularly. Either mom and daughter go, or mom and stepdad go, but never do the 3 of them go.
ExBIL's wife also has a 16 year old daughter that lives with them.
Together, exBIL and wife have a 2 year old.
ExBIL's daughter wanted to move in with exBIL 3 years ago, but mom guilted her into staying. I encouraged her to do what she wanted to do, but in the end, mom's guilt won out. Her mom is not a bad or unstable person, but daughter feels pretty rotten about being left out or excluded all the time.
Last year, she started being sick. She missed over half the school year. She's smart enough that she's able to keep up with the work, but her mother dragged her to all sorts of docs and had all sorts of tests done, all came back negative for anything. Her "illness" continues into this year. She is also growing very distant.
Her MD has now decided she's depressed and put her on prozac. ExBIL's wife thinks its making her worse, and I'd have to agree. She hit a parked car 3 times while trying to parallel park and completely did not care. Its not like her to not have no regard for others. Tho she is on Prozac, the doctor did not suggest or recommend any counseling.
But the real kicker is that wife's daughter said that exBIL's daughter told her she's got a crush on a boy at school that is a real "bad boy". ExBIL's daughter just wants a sexual relationship. Plus, he's into drugs, and he has the ability to make her feel better. Wife's daughter doesn't tend to be a tattle, and when she's expressed concern in the past, its turned out to be valid.
Wife is very worried. I am very worried. ExBIL doesn't know, and it frustrates him to no end because he feels there is nothing he can do.
So....anyone have any ideas? My suggestion is to make an appointment with the MD and find out why prozac, why no counseling, and to get her into counseling, even if its just once every 2 weeks when she's with her dad.
I'm also going to make an attempt to get together with her a little more often.