W
WearyWoman
Guest
Group,
I'm sorry I've been away from this forum for a while now - busy stuff going on in my life. I just had an experience, though, that makes me wonder how I should handle helping my Bubby (age 9) navigate the world with his Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD).
Bubby is enrolled in a faith formation Catholic education class that meets once a week in the evenings. Our faith is important to us, and we think it's a good thing for him to go, in general. The problem relates to Bubby's Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) and the expectations of the church.
First of all, Bubby has SO much anxiety that it was a heroic effort just to get him in the car to go to the first class. He went last year, but of course, it's a new year, and we had to start over with the anxiety. Once he has attended a couple of times, his anxiety lessens, and he enjoys himself more.
I explained his Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) and special needs to the religious ed coordinator, and his class teacher is also aware. They know he has anxiety and how difficult it was just to get him in the building.
On the second week of class, he came home with a note stating that his class will have to read some prayer petitions at a family mass coming up this week - at a podium, using a microphone, in front of the church. Okay . . . . I know my Bubby, and I think this would cause him a lot of distress. He has speech issues, and the anxiety around groups of people would be a lot for him to handle. Heck, it would be hard for me to get up there and do that! My fear is that he would bolt out of the building and never want to come back or something - that it would be a negative experience for him.
Well, it just so happens that I have a professional exam to take out of town this week anyway, and I had planned to call the church to let them know that we wouldn't be coming due to the schedule conflict. My hubby will also be out of town for a work training. But the church called here first as a reminder to come to the special service. My hubby was home at the time and explained that I wouldn't be coming with Bubby because I have an exam out of town. My hubby is not Catholic.
The religious ed coordinator then told him she wants me to call her personally to verify that with her. Of course, my hubby was offended by this since he had just explained that I would be out of town. Ughh . . . so now I plan to call back and reiterate why we're not able to make it.
But . . . I'm also considering taking this opportunity to address the expectations here and the need for modification for Bubby. In general, people have been understanding and empathetic regarding Bubby's Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD). But sometimes they just don't get it.
The smallest things teachers and other parents take for granted, are monumental for our family. I am constantly educating others about the effects of Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) on the kids who have it and their families.
I feel upset by this situation - that I have to call and justify why we aren't able to make it to the service (hubby's explanation was either not good enough or not reliable enough!) and also the reasons why I think the expectation of reading in front of a large congregation might not be reasonable or a positive experience for Bubby. Of course, I'm also anticipating all of the other curve balls that could come our way in this regard in the future.
I thought we were doing well just to get him to class, but the pressure to "make" these kids typical is quite relentless. I wish someone at the church would have thought to have contacted me or sent a special note for me with Bubby last week seeking my input on whether he could/should do the reading.
It's really my fault for not contacting them sooner. My life gets crazy busy sometimes, and it's hard to keep up with everything.
Weary
I'm sorry I've been away from this forum for a while now - busy stuff going on in my life. I just had an experience, though, that makes me wonder how I should handle helping my Bubby (age 9) navigate the world with his Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD).
Bubby is enrolled in a faith formation Catholic education class that meets once a week in the evenings. Our faith is important to us, and we think it's a good thing for him to go, in general. The problem relates to Bubby's Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) and the expectations of the church.
First of all, Bubby has SO much anxiety that it was a heroic effort just to get him in the car to go to the first class. He went last year, but of course, it's a new year, and we had to start over with the anxiety. Once he has attended a couple of times, his anxiety lessens, and he enjoys himself more.
I explained his Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) and special needs to the religious ed coordinator, and his class teacher is also aware. They know he has anxiety and how difficult it was just to get him in the building.
On the second week of class, he came home with a note stating that his class will have to read some prayer petitions at a family mass coming up this week - at a podium, using a microphone, in front of the church. Okay . . . . I know my Bubby, and I think this would cause him a lot of distress. He has speech issues, and the anxiety around groups of people would be a lot for him to handle. Heck, it would be hard for me to get up there and do that! My fear is that he would bolt out of the building and never want to come back or something - that it would be a negative experience for him.
Well, it just so happens that I have a professional exam to take out of town this week anyway, and I had planned to call the church to let them know that we wouldn't be coming due to the schedule conflict. My hubby will also be out of town for a work training. But the church called here first as a reminder to come to the special service. My hubby was home at the time and explained that I wouldn't be coming with Bubby because I have an exam out of town. My hubby is not Catholic.
The religious ed coordinator then told him she wants me to call her personally to verify that with her. Of course, my hubby was offended by this since he had just explained that I would be out of town. Ughh . . . so now I plan to call back and reiterate why we're not able to make it.
But . . . I'm also considering taking this opportunity to address the expectations here and the need for modification for Bubby. In general, people have been understanding and empathetic regarding Bubby's Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD). But sometimes they just don't get it.
The smallest things teachers and other parents take for granted, are monumental for our family. I am constantly educating others about the effects of Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) on the kids who have it and their families.
I feel upset by this situation - that I have to call and justify why we aren't able to make it to the service (hubby's explanation was either not good enough or not reliable enough!) and also the reasons why I think the expectation of reading in front of a large congregation might not be reasonable or a positive experience for Bubby. Of course, I'm also anticipating all of the other curve balls that could come our way in this regard in the future.
I thought we were doing well just to get him to class, but the pressure to "make" these kids typical is quite relentless. I wish someone at the church would have thought to have contacted me or sent a special note for me with Bubby last week seeking my input on whether he could/should do the reading.
It's really my fault for not contacting them sooner. My life gets crazy busy sometimes, and it's hard to keep up with everything.
Weary