First Night Under the Same Roof in Six Years

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Farmingmom, Feb 17, 2015.

  1. Farmingmom

    Farmingmom New Member

    Well guys, they're all home. For the first time since Kid2 stormed out Christmas Day 2008, all of my kids (except the oldest) are sleeping under the same roof tonight.

    Kid4 got here Sunday night, although he still has some stuff to move out of his rental before he's officially done. But he's back home. One of his two roommates, J, came with him. J's a nice kid. He puts just the right kind of peer pressure on Kid4 to remind him that he's supposed to be a grown up (and not to whine because he has to do the dishes.) lol. J is loving the idea of living on a farm, and he's not afraid to work, that's for sure. We won't have J for long (his fiance is in under-graduate school a couple hours away) but I think he'll be a really good addition to farm life while he's here.

    Kid2 got here tonight. She still has a few more things to move, too, but for the most part, she and the kids are here. What once was my living room has now become a temporary nursery/bedroom until we finish construction on the garage-turned-apartment. My bookshelves and my favorite recliner are pushed this way and that to make room for pack & plays, toddler cots, and mounds of kiddie accoutrements. So much for coffee in front of the fireplace early in the mornings. At least for a while, anyway.

    Kid3 was obviously anxious today. His world is changing and while he knew it was coming, and we've spent weeks preparing, it's still change. It's still a HUGE challenge to have the person who was once his biggest trigger (Kid2) come back under his nose again. I knew he'd probably have a difficult time adjusting, but we've been crossing our fingers that years of progress and maturity would win out. So far, other than just being a little irritable and snippy, he seems to be doing okay. (He went to be early as the noise level was a little too much for him and he didn't want to let it get to him - win #1!)

    I will say, it was wonderful to see my granddaughter hop out of the car and come running to me yelling "Gramma! Gramma! I here! I love you!" That has got to have been the absolute best moment in a long, long time. She's such a sweet little girl, although boy does she ever remind me of her mother! (I hereby reserve the right to secretly giggle a little bit if she gives her mother just a quarter of the gray hairs her mother gave me...I've paid my dues, I'm allowed to point and laugh when no one is looking. *evil grins*)

    It's strange...I'm excited to have everyone home. I'm excited to think of our family working the farm together. I'm happy to listen to my kids sharing everything they don't know about each other from the last 6 years - those little anecdotal stories, funny experiences, the things they've learned. It's a wonderful, heart-warming feeling.

    But...

    I would be insane if I didn't worry just a little. I'd be a liar if I tried to say that I have no fears about the future.

    The kids have all come so far these last some years. Each of them has grown up, become an adult, learned what GrownUpLand is like.

    But...

    Living back under Mom's roof? Living with your siblings again? Having small children in the house again?

    I'd be a fool to think that's not a really, really BIG test of how far everyone has come. Even at my age, I don't know that you could put my parents, my sister and her family, and me under the same roof without old arguments and old issues coming up. And since we've all grown accustomed to having our own space, our own lives, our own ways of doing things, coming together under one roof would NOT be an easy task. Someone's toes would get stepped on. Someone's nose would get bent out of joint.

    I can't imagine that it will be any different for my kids. In fact, I wonder if their challenges and our history might not make it even harder a task to master.

    I truly hope I'm worrying over nothing. I truly hope this all works out to be as wonderful as I hope it will be. The kids are all so far from who they were six years ago. They all WANT to be here. They all WANT the kind of family farm life I've envisioned. Let's just hope they want it enough to do the work required for us to make it all workable.

    We only have to live under the same roof for a few months. Let's cross our fingers that we survive those few months with our sanity intact. That's the plan we've all been talking about - if we can manage to live under the same roof for 3-4 months and not have major issues, then working the farm together (with separate houses/personal time & space away from each other at the end of every day) should be a doable thing.

    Think good thoughts, guys. I already realize, after just one evening, that I'm going to need an upgrade to a really, really BIG bottle of Motrin. I didn't notice how quiet the house had become with just me and Kid3 here. Just the normal noise and commotion of having seven people in one house gave me a headache tonight. It's going to take some adjusting...a lot of quiet walks through the fields...and probably a Pez dispenser for my Motrin...to get used to this much activity again.

    Yeah. Please, think good thoughts. Tomorrow is our first full day and we have LOTS of stuff to get done. We're already two weeks behind on spring plantings, thanks to my health issues. I have no choice but to throw us all under the bus and see if we're all still standing at the end of the day tomorrow. No time for easing into anything...we should already have peas and radishes popping up out of the ground and we don't even have fields turned over yet.

    Fingers crossed! :D :D

    In the meantime, I can't wait to see how breakfast goes in the morning. And I can't wait to wake up to grandbabies!!!
     
  2. Bunny

    Bunny Active Member

    My fingers are crossed for all of you! My Difficult Child is the same way about change. It's a huge trigger for him, but your kids are all older now, and everyone sounds like they have matured a bit. I hope it goes well for everyone.
     
  3. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Farmingmom, enjoy the chicks returning to the roost for as long as it lasts! This may be a time for new memories. Reality will return but perhaps time and distance will have lessened the tension. Good hard work may help as well!

    Sharon
     
  4. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I can understand your concerns, however, you all appear to have quite the commitment to make this work........I hope that brings the success you all envision. Sending good thoughts and prayers that your family unites positively and that a smooth ride awaits.....Keep us posted.....
     
  5. Farmingmom

    Farmingmom New Member

    OMG!!

    I think the kids answered a call from the doctors, found out I must be terminal, and just haven't told me yet. o_O

    Not only has today gone very well, but I just walked into the living room to find Kid2 and Kid3 having not only a pleasant conversation, but laughing and joking around with each other to boot!

    Holy smokes! It's been over a decade since they were able to have a civilized conversation. The old Warrior Mom in me thinks I must be dying and they just want to make my last days bearable.

    I know we'll probably have a honeymoon period where everyone gets along famously and I shouldn't count my chickens before they hatch. BUT...um...WOW! They're talking dinner plans, and who can make what, and whether they should use this or that for whatever dishes they're cooking up tonight.

    I was so NOT prepared for the two of them to surprise me like this. How absolutely wonderful!!! Even if today is the only day they ever get along and work well together, I will hold that moment forever. To see the two of them chatting it up...with no one else in the room to help the conversation along or keep things light...that's just...WOW!!! I think I just might be the happiest Mom on the planet.

    And I don't care if they serve toasted cardboard with burnt marshmallow topping for dinner. It will be the most wonderful meal of my entire adult life...hands down, bar none.

    :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
     
  6. FlowerGarden

    FlowerGarden Active Member

    Really enjoying your updates. Glad to hear things are falling into place. Hoping you have a planted farm very soon and on your way to a successful crop. Keep us updated!
     
  7. Step-monster

    Step-monster New Member

    Enjoy EVERY moment of the time together as a family! I hope it's forever!
     
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