Hello! My name is Kati I'm married to a wonderful man who is the father of an 8 year-old boy, Patric. I love them both very much and couldn't imagine what I'd do without them.
We have recently taken custody of Patric as the household he was living in with his mother was unstable, unhealthy, and dangerous. He was only with his mother for 1 1/2 years, for the other part of his life he was living with his dad. When my husband got divorced, he sent Patric to live with his mother because as a single dad he wasn't able to provide the things Patric needed. Since Patric began living with his mother about 1 1/2 years ago she has had him extensively "monitored" for his ADHD. He was even sedated, removed from her home and admitted to the psyc-ward at their local hospital for 3 weeks My husband and I had no clue that she was only telling us part of what was going on.
In the last month or so we have really been trying to take the time to understand Patric and his needs. The school has been the greatest help. We have learned that not only does he have ADHD but he also has ODD. As a step-mom I really feel as if I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place with him. His mother has let him and his sisters run her household. I do understand that people who deal with kids with special problems have to make some major adjustments but I have been virtually on the verge of tears due to frustration. I don't know how to deal with a child as special as Patric. I love him dearly and he has the biggest heart in the world but he continually argues, destroys things, hits himself and others, he has to have a word into EVERYTHING he argues with us even when were not arguing with him.
The simplest things set him off: the wrong dish on the table, when he's asked to put his coat on before he goes outside, even fun things make him really angry. He thinks he needs to be rewarded for everything. We have an reward system in place now and when he's good and does what he's told to do the first time without whining he gets a token that he can use to buy toys and other items from us.
I really would appriciate any suggestions anyone has on how to handle this behavior. He is currently taking medication for it (Guanfacine and Abilify). This little boy deserves the loving home he's in but we dont know how to show him whats right and wrong and where respect needs to be inplace.
Thanks for listening
Kati
We have recently taken custody of Patric as the household he was living in with his mother was unstable, unhealthy, and dangerous. He was only with his mother for 1 1/2 years, for the other part of his life he was living with his dad. When my husband got divorced, he sent Patric to live with his mother because as a single dad he wasn't able to provide the things Patric needed. Since Patric began living with his mother about 1 1/2 years ago she has had him extensively "monitored" for his ADHD. He was even sedated, removed from her home and admitted to the psyc-ward at their local hospital for 3 weeks My husband and I had no clue that she was only telling us part of what was going on.
In the last month or so we have really been trying to take the time to understand Patric and his needs. The school has been the greatest help. We have learned that not only does he have ADHD but he also has ODD. As a step-mom I really feel as if I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place with him. His mother has let him and his sisters run her household. I do understand that people who deal with kids with special problems have to make some major adjustments but I have been virtually on the verge of tears due to frustration. I don't know how to deal with a child as special as Patric. I love him dearly and he has the biggest heart in the world but he continually argues, destroys things, hits himself and others, he has to have a word into EVERYTHING he argues with us even when were not arguing with him.
The simplest things set him off: the wrong dish on the table, when he's asked to put his coat on before he goes outside, even fun things make him really angry. He thinks he needs to be rewarded for everything. We have an reward system in place now and when he's good and does what he's told to do the first time without whining he gets a token that he can use to buy toys and other items from us.
I really would appriciate any suggestions anyone has on how to handle this behavior. He is currently taking medication for it (Guanfacine and Abilify). This little boy deserves the loving home he's in but we dont know how to show him whats right and wrong and where respect needs to be inplace.
Thanks for listening
Kati