Frustrated

[pasajes4]

My son has been out of juvie detention for less than a month. He was locked up for 11 months. He is on intense supervised probation. I am about to call his probation officer to let him know he is not making curfew, and I have intercepted messages that indicate his involvement with drug activity. He is not going to school and quit his job. I have invited him to find a new address.

 

[BusynMember]

Unfortunately it usually takes many tries before an improvement, if there is going to be one. On the plus side, he is still young. I don't know that you can throw him out at fifteen, but I would definitely let his PO know that he is not keeping the terms of his parole. When my daughter was on parole, at first I did not say anything when she broke the conditions of her parole. After a while, shes was clearly amping things up and I was scared so I did. I even turned her in another time, when she was NOT on parole. I wasn't trying to punish her. I was terrified and hoped it would HELP her. It didn't, but that was because she wasn't yet ready to quit, but it did make her more careful for a while...

Hugs and good luck.

 

[pasajes4]

I need to update. He is now 17. If he was to be arrested, he would go to adult detention.

 

[Californiablonde]

I am sorry to hear you are having such a rough time with your son. Is he still in school? If he is not going to school, that would also be a violation of probation and would warrant them taking him in. I have multiple kids on probation at work and their probation officers will often times arrest them right at the school. Sorry you are having to deal with this. Hugs.

 

[Calamity Jane]

It is so frustrating that he even puts you in that position, Pasa. Doing the right thing is so hard sometimes. I'm sorry.

 

[dstc_99]

You did the right thing calling the PO. He is obviously not participating in his probation correctly. He is abusing you. He needs to man up.

 

[BusynMember]

Ok, at 17 you can start weighing your options. Maybe it would be a good idea to let him know in advance that he either has to get into rehab and change his behavior in your home to YOUR rules or that he will have to leave at eighteen, if that's what you feel would be best for him and you (YOU matter too). You may want to post on our forum "Substance Abuse" as the kids there are usually much older and further along in their difficult child journey.