Getting worried about baby's 1st b-day Saturday

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by everywoman, Jun 12, 2007.

  1. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    I guess Dingbat(I couldn't use KLD's wingnut) and her parents will be there. I'm worried it will be awkward. What do I possible say to these people? You daughter cheated on my son and is possibly pregnant by a guy who cuts grass part time at a golf course in your hometown???? And everytime she went to visit you she was seeing this guy. Can't see that going over well? But, I don't see myself smiling and pretending that we are one big happy family either. I guess my best bet is to just play with JJ and speak when spoken to.
    What would you do? She will be his mother forever!
  2. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    Most importantly, you are celebrating the birth of someone you love. So are they. Try to remember that more than anything.

    I wouldn't blame DB's parents for her behavior. I doubt they're any happier about it than you are. Imagine how you would feel if your unmarried daughter were pregnant for the second time. They are as much of victims as your son is. I would try to be as cordial to them as possible. They probably could use some warmth and understanding.

    As to DB herself, as you said she is the mother. That little baby that you love so much is half hers. Do your best to remember that at the party. Her cheating, her possible pregnancy, her general stupidity is her problem (and your son's). So, do your best to be civil to her and leave it at that.
  3. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    Meowbunny nailed it! I agree completely. :thumbsup:

    You can do it!

  4. WhymeMom?

    WhymeMom? No real answers to life..

    <span style='font-family: Comic Sans MS'>Ditto what meowbunny said....I would probably have more compassion for her parents because they are probably feeling the effects of her poor choices....Be civil to her since she still has some say in 1 year old's life....concentrate on the occasion, not the attendees.....

    Hope it goes well....</span>

  5. KFld

    KFld New Member

    You could call her wingnut2 :smile:

    Anyway, I agree with the others. Focus on the babies birthday and nothing else for the day. You have no control over any of the rest of it.

    I do understand how you feel though. I thank god everyday that I don't have to have any involvement with wingnut or her family anymore. I had already been worrying about things like birthdays etc. if this baby had been my sons and how I would be able to deal with "acting like a happy family".
  6. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    No---she's not unmarried. She is married to my son. They have been married for over a year and 1/2.
  7. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Hey...she has to be wingnut3...I have wingnut2!

    I agree with the others. Pretend you are one of those stupid dogs on the dashboards. Smile and and nod.
  8. KFld

    KFld New Member

    We're going to have us an entire hardware store pretty soon with all these wingnuts :smile:
  9. Sunlight

    Sunlight Active Member

    that is a hard one to deal with. ugh. I would not stay long, would focus on the baby.
  10. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    I am so sorry that what should be a joyus occasion is a source of stress for you. As the others said concentrate on the baby Perhaps in the future you son can have a seperate gathering for his side of the family and she can have one for her side. That said though, there will be occasions such as graduations and weddings where it will have to be done together... so maybe it is better to just bite the bullet from the start. -RM
  11. catwoman

    catwoman New Member

    I have a very hard time being with easy child daughter's in-laws. When she was pregnant with their first grandchild, their son was still using and a loser. They had nothing to do with her through the entire pregnancy and called her a w####. She supported and raised my grandson by herself for two years. Now that he's been clean for a year and they're married and doing well, the in-laws act like they're one big happy family. My daughter deals with it because of the kids but I have a hard time forgiving people who called my daughter a w####. I'm Italian, we never let anything go!!! We usually celebrate things separately, but at gatherings I have to attend, I usually focus on the kids.
  12. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    At work we call this the "you're so pretty" smile. Smile and look at them like you would a child telling them, you're so pretty. We do this at work to people who try to give us advise on how to handle our autistic 5 year olds.(We have training and have been doing this for many years, whereas the ignorant advice-givers have none). Nod and smile a phony smile.-Alyssa
  13. SunnyFlorida

    SunnyFlorida Active Member

    :smile: a Smod......(smile and nod) this is what we do when we don't know what else to do :smile:

    When exgf (can't call her a wingnut because she's actually working and going to school) got pregnant I was none too happy. I remember her mom sayin' "there's a baby comin', there's a baby comin'".

    So.......there's a baby in the house, there's a baby in the house. Our grammy time kicks in anytime a baby is around. Have fun, be gracious, and enjoy the moment. Happiness is contagious.