Give me a break...

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Sue C, Feb 17, 2007.

  1. Sue C

    Sue C Active Member

    Melissa has been Up North by her friend Tiff all week, and it has been a nice break for husband and me. I think yesterday was the first day she wasn't the focus of our conversations. Very nice!

    She called a few times during the week and was nice and sweet. She called a few minutes ago. She just left to come home and is crabby. She said she needs new interior seats for her car. I asked why. She said because she left a soda can in the car, and it exploded all over the seats and now they look awful. I told her matter-of-factly, "You can save up and buy them." She said, "I don't even want this f*ing car. It's a piece of junk. I want a different car." I calmly said, "Fine, you can save up for one." She said, "I'll put it on my credit card." Then blah blah blah. She also said the coolant ran out when she stopped at the gas station (it has a leak), but she wasn't going to put any in. I said you need to. She said the car would be fine. I said good bye and hung up on her. Let her blow the engine and get stranded. Too bad.

    husband and I had bought her that car for $500. It's not in the best condition but hey, it's a car and she did not have to pay for it. I don't like hearing it's a piece of junk and how we are supposed to buy new seats because she let a soda can explode! The nerve!!!!! :grrr:

    I wish she'd stayed Up North longer. Let's hope she gets a job very soon so at least she's out of my hair during the day!!!!

    p.s. What a weirdo. She just called to ask if I wanted her to stop and buy fudge for us. She was calm as can be. She is bizarre, I tell ya. Night and day within a matter of minutes!

  2. Jen

    Jen New Member

    OMG Sue she sounds like my difficult child son. He just had to have the last 6 cars he has had in the 6 yrs that he has been driving, and with-in a yr he has something nasty to say about everyone of them. He tends to be that way about everything and everyone he comes in contact with, it is enough to make you vomit isnt it? Really no other word can even come close to describing them, is there? because it is so hard to believe that we brought them into this world, that they are part of our DNA makeup, and they are the farthest replica of out DNA.

  3. fedup

    fedup New Member

    Yes, if it isn't one thing it's another. For your sake, I hope she remains nice. I can hardly wait to hear from difficult child again (NOT).

    He has wrecked a '68 Charger, blown the engine on an early '80's Chevy, and now has a '73 Duster that is less than ready for the road. He wrecked the Chrager before he even had a license, and had the Chevy for only couple of months. He's just 19, and on his third car!

    Good luck.
  4. kris

    kris New Member

    <span style="color: #660000">sue, she seems to have some pretty severe mood swings. has she ever been evalauted for bipolar? i've been reading your posts for a long time & the mood swings seem a pretty consistant factor in her behaviors.

    kris </span>
  5. Sue C

    Sue C Active Member

    Hi Kris,

    husband and I have been thinking bipolar for awhile now, but we could not get her to go see a psychiatrist. And now that she is out of college, she is no longer on my insurance. And I doubt any job she finds will offer insurance.

    You should have seen last night. It was awful. husband, she and I went out to eat at our favorite small Italian restaurant in town where they know us well. Melissa said she wanted a sub and to give her the car keys. husband said no. She kept saying give me the f*ing car keys. husband said no. She said she would walk over to the sub place (less than 1/2 mile) and eat there and we could pick her up. husband hands her money. She stuffs it into her pocket and says I'm not hungry; now I have gas money. So she sat there and would not even order a soda.

    Then she kept tapping her cell phone on the table. tap--flip it over--tap--flip it over--tap--flip it over. The lady and the man at the next table kept giving her a sideways glance. I told husband to take the phone away. He grabbed it and she said give me my f*ing phone. He tossed it at her. It was an awful dinner. husband and I just ate in silence while she kept saying stupid things. We should have left, but I was afraid she might yell something out loud (even though she's never done this in public), and we'd be so embarrassed 'cuz like I said, we're regulars at this restaurant. (in hindsight, we should have said that we needed the dinners to go)

    We got in the car, and I told her she had a mental health problem and needed help. She said "why are you talking so mean to me? That is a mean thing to say." And then she jumps from subject to subject like how I shouldn't have made her send a thank you note to her interviewer and that why did I say I read it in a book when the only book that is true is the Bible and how she was going to move Up North by her friend Tiff 'cuz there were lots of jobs up there (tiny town--no jobs--Tiff's husband bags groceries). We got home and she went into her bedroom and threw some things away (like a cute Tinkerbell picture frame) and told me not to take them out of the garbage. Whatever.

    So...what can we do to get her help if she is bipolar and refuses to go for help???

  6. PonyGirl

    PonyGirl Warrior Parent

    Wow Sue, it sounds like she's on a downward spiral. Wonder if something happened Up North (near me?? I know a "Tiff" :smirk: ) to trigger this? Drugs?

    My gut reaction to your question
    <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">So...what can we do to get her help if she is bipolar and refuses to go for help???
    </div></div> THROW HER OUT OF THE HOUSE

    Sounds cold, cruel, brutal, I know. She is safe with you, she is allowed to behave in this bizarre way with little consequence. Won't be like that in the 'real' world. She'll be forced to see her behavior is NOT normal, NOT okay, NOT accepted. She will become willing to go for help sooner that way.

    Again, just my gut reaction. And I apologize for my coldness. I'm worried for you, and for her, if her behavior continues to escalate. From your story, you're not only 'prisoners' in your own home, but she holds you hostage out in public, too. The lessons she's learning from being allowed to act that way are not helpful to her.

    I know you fear she's unable to live on her own. I agree with you. But she doesn't see that, and she never will unless she's forced to do it. And until she sees there's a problem, she'll never get any help.

    Sorry for your hurting heart. (((Hugs))) to you my friend.

  7. Sue C

    Sue C Active Member

    PonyGirl -- I sent you a PM, and don't worry---you're not being cold. Just honest. :smile: