Going Crazy

[Goincrazy3]

So fortunate I saw this site. Honestly, it's the best I've seen so far. I came looking because my life is out of control and I can't get a grip anymore. My son has ADHD, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), and I think NonVerbal Learning Disorder (NVLD). He's 10 years old, and can be a really loving kid at times. But only to me. He has put a strain on this entire family, and even on my extended family at times. Mornings are hell. Can't tell you how many times I've woken up someone else in the family because of the yelling match he and I go through sometimes. I never ever used to raise my voice at anyone. But the last few years have been really tough, and I don't know where to go from here. My husband took a job as a truck driver long haul 1 1/2 years ago, and things got so much more stressful for me. Now my husband and teenager are worred about me, they know that something's changed, and I am no longer the "normal" person I was. I'm always stressed, and I know that we need to parent differently, but it's very difficult to do when your child is yelling at you (now my other children have never done that, let alone gotten away with it). I dont' spank my child, I itry to reason with him. But, it's hard to do when someone is being very hateful to you just because you're trying to wake him up to go to school. The truth is, I'm scared because there are days when I don't know how I restrain myself from hitting him. I know how bad this sounds, but it's the honest truth. I know if I hit him once, I won't be able to stop until he shuts up, which by the way is something he just never does. I've made an appointment with a psychologist. I really need help, tons of help. I want to be the mom that I used to be.

 

[Shari]

GC3, I'm sorry your life is such that you had to find us, but welcome.

To ease your worries, we all know how you feel. We've been there, and we're not ashamed to admit it. You're in good company.

Have you ever read The Explosive Child by Ross Greene? For many of us, its a bible. "PArenting the explosive child" is also available on DVD, which may be better than trying to read something right now. For me, that book was a godsend.

Is you son on any medications?

Again, I'm so sorry you had to go looking for help like this, but welcome.

 

[busywend]

Welcome! I am glad you found us.

You sound just like me. I ended up in a depression for the first time in my life. I hated yelling. I hated going home because I knew the battles would begin - and for a single mom there is no choice! And you are a single mom when husband is on the road.

VERY important to get time to yourself. It took me WAY too long to learn that and accept it for truth. But, it is TRUE!
Also, adjust the morning so there is more time for whatever it is that the arguments are about. For example if he likes to watch a certain cartoon get him up 20 minutes earlier so he can get X, Y & Z done before the TV even goes on. Talk about it together. Tell him you can not start your day this way any longer and you think it is not good for him to start his this way either. Come to an agreement with compromise that helps you argue less before school/work. Both of you come up with some suggestions and be willing to give a bit to the others ideas.

It might not be traditional, but it might just work.