Got a call from difficult child

[toughlovin]

Hi everyone,

Well my day was made today because I just got a collect call from difficult child. I thought it meant something was wrong but I think he was just calling to say hi. It was a good conversation. He is in WY on his way to Denver. He is travelling with a friend and was waiting for a ride from a trucker. He is having adventures... and he is having fun smoking weed. (Ugh but I stayed neutral). I told him I was not trying to control him and he said he got that. I also told him for Xmas we would get him a coat and he said that and snow pants would be awesome. I told him I liked hearing from him, that I worried about him, and we just love him and support him. He said he knew that. So all in all it was a good conversation. I feel good that he connected and is in touch with us and is not asking me for anything. (I made the offer about the coat). Clearly he is still smoking pot but that is not a surprise to me.... doesnt sound like he is doing harder stuff though.

TL

 

[Mattsmom277]

I'm glad he called, and that the call went well. I'm sure you just shook your head about the pot comment. I can't imagine having told that to a parent in my younger years. At the same time, if you're correct and he's not using anything heavier, that is a very very very good thing. I'm glad he is travelling with a friend, safety in numbers and all of that. Also that he wasn't calling for anything, just to touch base. Very good sign. I think a coat, and maybe snow pants, is a great gift offer. It lets you be the mom/gift giver that we all want to be for our kiddos, without going over the top and without doing more than you are comfortable with. It is also very practical with him moving about. All in all, sounds like a positive all the way around. I hope he stays in touch this way. His reaching out for reaching out sake, is great.

 

[buddy]

Great to hear he's ok.....hmmmm, wonder why he's going to Colorado? (sorry just remembering the thread about how many g'sfg might move there ) I am glad you feel he is not doing more though. Praying that is true! A coat and snow pants sounds really nice. So happy for your mommy heart that he called and is ok and talked to you in such a nice way.

 

[lovemysons]

Another here glad to hear your difficult child is okay.
I think of him often. I once lived in Colorado...Up in the mountains. Gorgeous country. I hope he will like it there and there is ALOT of seasonal work between ski resorts in winter months and river rafting in summer. Maybe he'll get a job up there.

I keep your difficult child in my regular prayers.
hugs,
LMS

 

[PatriotsGirl]

That is great news TL....hoping he really likes it in snow country...

 

[pasajes4]

It sounds as if it was an upbeat phone call.

 

[Nancy]

Wow TL I can only imagine how your heart was glad to hear he is safe. I have had to change my views on pot quite a bit and while I still feel it is very harmful to those who are addicts of any kind, if that is what makes him feel ok in his skin and he sticks to it and nothing else, he may do well living in ski country and working in a resort. He knows you love and support him and by him reaching out to you and not asking for anything shows a level of maturity. Coat and snow pants are a wonderful gift.

Nancy

 

[Calamity Jane]

TL, that's great news. I applaud him for keeping in touch - it means he realizes there are other people in this world and he actually cares. That's a pretty good start. I'm happy for you A coat and snow pants is a wonderful gift...he should wear them in good health!

 

[Signorina]

I am so happy for you and so glad that he called!!!

 

[DDD]

What joy and relief you must have felt hearing his voice and positive sharing. Like Nancy said, alot of us have had to temper our views and expectations in order to feel the love for our "child" instead of living in fear. Hugs. DDD

 

[DammitJanet]

TL, if you want to add one more thing in with that coat and snow pants, you can find jeans that are lined with flannel. They are really warm and I would imagine they would be appreciated. I get them for Tony to wear in winter months working construction. It gets really cold outside even down here.

 

[Kathy813]

Add me to the list . . . I am glad he called and sounded good. Who knows, maybe this will turn out to be a youthful adventure and he will get this all out of his system.

~Kathy

 

[recoveringenabler]

Very happy to read this, I am happy for you..............

 

[toughlovin]

Thanks for all the wonderful support!!! I have had a glow all day today, amazing how happy getting that phone call made me!! Our relationship at times has been so fraught with tension that it was nice to get a call just to check in and to have it not be tense but just good. I do think he is getting that at this point I am not trying to control him.

Nancy I agree with you about the pot issue.... to me smoking pot (or not) is not a moral issue... if he can smoke pot and lead a producitve life then so be it. I certainly would rather he smoke pot than use spice, DMX or some of the other drugs out there. And to be honest in many ways pot is probably better than alcohol..... I dont really think he can lead a productive life and smoke a lot of pot because i do think he is an addict BUT I also realize that only he can come to that conclusion and do something about it. And maybe just maybe he will prove me wrong and he will get excited about something there and turn his life around. I can hope anyways.

He is athletic and loves to ski.... so working at a ski resort or white river rafting would be down his alley.

Thanks all,

TL

 

[AmericanGirl]

TL, I am so happy for you!!

 

[toughlovin]

So I got a FB message that he made it to Denver. No other info but it was nice to just get a message that he made it.

TL

 

[Calamity Jane]

TL,
It's so nice that he posted, and I'm glad he made it where he wants to be. I wish him all the luck in the world.

 

[PatriotsGirl]

Nancy I agree with you about the pot issue.... to me smoking pot (or not) is not a moral issue... if he can smoke pot and lead a producitve life then so be it. I certainly would rather he smoke pot than use spice, DMX or some of the other drugs out there. And to be honest in many ways pot is probably better than alcohol..... I dont really think he can lead a productive life and smoke a lot of pot because i do think he is an addict BUT I also realize that only he can come to that conclusion and do something about it. And maybe just maybe he will prove me wrong and he will get excited about something there and turn his life around. I can hope anyways.

He will not black out from smoking pot. He will not be violent or rage oon pot. He will not go out and rob someone to get pot or money for pot. He will not die from smoking pot. He is now in a place where it is perfectly legal to smoke pot. If that is the most of his problems, I would say everything was A okay in my book. Relax now momma...

 

[toughlovin]

I agree he wont black out from pot or overdose on pot. I am not so sure about the rest.... I think heavy pot smokers can get pretty irratable when they are coming down from it or havent smoked it. And I think he might steal to get money for pot... but then he will steal just to get money anyways. He is impulsive and will do stupid things without drugs... but yeah pot is not going to create the monster than other drugs could.

TL

 

[Nancy]

I disagree with some of what you say PG. An addict will rob for pot or at least shoplift and steal from people's purses or homes. In our meeting last week we had a speaker from an adolescent treatment facility and I asked what the most abused substance was that they are seeing. She said it was alcohol and pot. So I asked if that dispells the thought that pot is not addictive. Her answer was that to an addict pot is just as addictive as alcohol is to an alcoholic. I was surprised to hear that heroin was not the most abused but she is from an outpatient facility and the heroin addicts usually go into residential, outpatient just doesn't work for them.

Now I am sure there are some addicts that can stick to pot and never go on to other things but it's a very slippery slope.

And TL you are right, my difficult child was very violent after smoking pot if she didn't get what she wanted or if we confronted her or if we didn't allow her to go out when we knew she was going to smoke pot. We had to call the police several times, once when she threw all the glass drinking glasses on the wood kitchen floor and broke them and another time when she kicked me as I was on the garage floor trying to keep her from getting the car keys.