Got that first phone call...

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by toughlovin, Jun 20, 2013.

  1. toughlovin

    toughlovin Well-Known Member

    which predictably was about how awful the place is, how it will do no good, how it is actually worse than jail etc. My husband and I were both on the phone, both encouraging, both saying there is nohting we can do but we love you. Hang in there, you can do this.... I told him you are a survivor, you have lived on the streets you can do this. He did ask if there was a place that could take insurance? And how would he go about finding a better place etc.... I told him he would need to talk to probation and drug court that there was nothing I could do. I stayed strong!! And really there is nothing I can do (not that I want to at this point). Visiting hours are on Sundays and he wants the girlfriend to come.... he can only call out collect but we can call him so I said I would make sure she had the number. She did call him and I think after that he was doing better..... I think we are all going to need to be pretty encouraging and supportive to help him stay motivated the first few weeks.... I really hope though that at some point he can start really doing this for himself. One thing I think is good.... is really the only way to get out of the house is to get a job (not allowed yet) and so hopefully that will be a good reason to get a job because I think that would be the best thing for him.

    So that is where we are at at the moment.

  2. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    Hopefully he will settle in and work the program. You are doing awesome.
  3. Isn't it crazy how once difficult children' are in jail they can't wait to get out and then when they enter a program they say jail was better. My difficult child did that last October when he violated probation and the court allowed him to enter a program instead of jail. Two months later, i caved into his pleas and helped him get a job thinking that he would do better. Now he and i are paying the price because a few months later he violated probation again and is now sitting in jail. So TL, i understand the position you are in right now and kudos to you for staying strong. Hopefully, difficult child will settle in so you can exhale knowing that he is getting good help. All the best to your difficult child and you.
  4. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member

    Hi TL,

    Im with you, hoping that difficult child will be motivated to get a job and spend last time at the house.

    You are strong...and doing great at simply encouraging and reminding him that he is a Survivor. My aunt did that for me at a time when I was very frightend in my life...she told me I come from a long line of survivor's and that I would get through this time in my life. It helped alot.

    Thinking of you,