grandfather's dying

[Jena]

so i gotta head upstate tmrw. he's my stepfather's dad. iv'e known my stepfather since i'm a kid as well as his dad, who i call pop pop. haven't seen him in a while though.

my stepfather emailed me the hospital name, and addy. so i feel it's the right thing to do. my brother and my 2 stepbrothers are heading there tmrw to say good bye to him as well as my stepfather.

so only problem i gotta bring difficult child. she obviously doesnt' deal well with this. was supposed to go to sister in laws to see new baby, yet what can i do? hospital called today and announced he only has a day or so left.

difficult child's been an emotional mess all day today she has a bad cold and well you knwo what that's like a difficult child with a cold.

i didnt' get to say good bye to my grandmother i was super close to, or my father who passed last year. i just feel so obligated to do the right thing here

right??

 

[HaoZi]

Isn't tomorrow your husband's day off? Can he make himself useful watching her while you do this? And *hugs*, I'd be heading out to do it, too, even if I had to drag my Kiddo along.

 

[Mom2oddson]

If you have to take difficult child, maybe on the trip home, you could do something that she loves to do. Maybe find a special little gift for the new baby. Something that will take the string out of the change in plans.

Sorry to hear about your Pop Pop. Hope you make it to the hospital in time to say good-bye.

 

[busywend]

I am in Upstate - PM me where you are headed if you want. We could meet for coffee.

Sorry to hear about your grandfather - it is so hard to see loved ones leave us. I just lost my mother-in-law 2 weeks ago.

 

[Jena]

oh boy, my brother just called hysterical my witch of a mom is sooo defiant. runs in family. she's having severe chest pains, cant' breath my dad and brother are trying to coax her out of the house to head to e.r. yet she's refusing to go.

and the fun never ends....... their like hour and a half away. so i told my brother what to say to handle her and said text me i'll head out leave difficult child with easy child if i can find her.

 

[Steely]

Good grief - I am so sorry. Yes you should go - but leave difficult child with bio dad. It will be a disaster with her.
HUGS!!!

 

[Jena]

hi

so inbetween all the craziness i was having a couch deliverd that i found on the internet a used one for sale....... so my mom refused to go to the e.r. she's home in pain. my dad isn't going tmrw due to my mom being in whatever condition she's in, and they just ran a test and it winds up he;s already gone. his brainwaves are no longer doing anything. he's already passed, just a matter of hours till his body goes.

so i'm not going up.

 

[HaoZi]

I'm so sorry Jen.

 

[Jena]

hey i'm a big believer that there is an afterlife of sorts and that a person in pain is better to pass on. reminds me of my grandmother dying years ago. she and i were very close. no brain waves, she slipped into coma during night day before i was supposed to go see her. they had her on life support. long story short i didnt' feel her in the room anymore at all.

so i sat with her though held her hand when they pulled machine and she took her last breaths. i felt good to be there for her like that, yet i gotta be honest i've never forgotten what that was like. sounds to me like h'es in the exact same position now. i dont' know if i want to be there for that again. ya know me i'm flip floppin what i do best

 

[DDD]

I absolutey wouldn't include difficult child in any of it. If she's even half as precariously balanced as you describe, the visit would not only not benefit her but probably derail what progress she has made. DDD