DammitJanet
Well-Known Member
I have not been feeling very well lately. No Star didnt drive up to reinfect me with meningitis...lol.
Taking a deep breath....if you get bored easily, read something else!
Ever since I got out of the hospital when they screwed up all my medications in 12/2008, they just dumped me back on everything without titrating me back up. Also when I talked to my psychiatrist about the delusions and depersonalization I was feeling, he just stuck me on increased seroquel and said it was normal and would go away. I dont know if it will or not, he just increases my seroquel every few months! Then about six months ago he put me on wellbutrin because I wanted to stop smoking but also I was having fatigue and a bit of depression...ok more than a bit. But....Im bipolar, AD's have been bad to me!....so...lets put more seroquel on board!
That was a disaster. I got angry and more depressed. And I couldnt sleep. Weight gain is going through the roof.
So...we go back. Now...my pain is going through the roof. My hands are now on fire. I have never had a problem with my fingers unless I jammed on or something. Now I can hardly bend my fingers without extreme pain. Typing is killing me. I hurt my fingers picking up a glass to drink out of. Holding a plate to wash it is horrible. GP put me on arthrotec. I also got put on Cymbalta by psychiatrist when I told him I was in so much pain. Then...yes...higher seroquel.
I took cymbalta for two weeks and had to stop. I think I have serotonin syndrome.
But honestly, I would rather have meningitis again rather than how I feel now. I want to kill either myself or someone else. Im not real picky who either. I actually am plotting in my mind how wonderful it would feel to march Tony into the woods and make him kneel before me and I could blow his brains out. He is making me real mad right now because he isnt treating me nice. I cant even explain it.
I just sit around crying all the time. I cant figure out why. Its got to me medication-wise. I think I need to do a medication wash and then see what is needed.
Taking a deep breath....if you get bored easily, read something else!
Ever since I got out of the hospital when they screwed up all my medications in 12/2008, they just dumped me back on everything without titrating me back up. Also when I talked to my psychiatrist about the delusions and depersonalization I was feeling, he just stuck me on increased seroquel and said it was normal and would go away. I dont know if it will or not, he just increases my seroquel every few months! Then about six months ago he put me on wellbutrin because I wanted to stop smoking but also I was having fatigue and a bit of depression...ok more than a bit. But....Im bipolar, AD's have been bad to me!....so...lets put more seroquel on board!
That was a disaster. I got angry and more depressed. And I couldnt sleep. Weight gain is going through the roof.
So...we go back. Now...my pain is going through the roof. My hands are now on fire. I have never had a problem with my fingers unless I jammed on or something. Now I can hardly bend my fingers without extreme pain. Typing is killing me. I hurt my fingers picking up a glass to drink out of. Holding a plate to wash it is horrible. GP put me on arthrotec. I also got put on Cymbalta by psychiatrist when I told him I was in so much pain. Then...yes...higher seroquel.
I took cymbalta for two weeks and had to stop. I think I have serotonin syndrome.
- Agitation or restlessness
- Confusion
- Rapid heart rate
- Dilated pupils
- Loss of muscle coordination or twitching muscles
- Heavy sweating
- Diarrhea
- Headache
- Shivering
- Goose bumps
But honestly, I would rather have meningitis again rather than how I feel now. I want to kill either myself or someone else. Im not real picky who either. I actually am plotting in my mind how wonderful it would feel to march Tony into the woods and make him kneel before me and I could blow his brains out. He is making me real mad right now because he isnt treating me nice. I cant even explain it.
I just sit around crying all the time. I cant figure out why. Its got to me medication-wise. I think I need to do a medication wash and then see what is needed.