The hardest thing for me to accept has been that our kids (via adoption) have low IQs. Most members of my family are MENSA level and this has been a source of intense grief for me, even more so than the difficult child behaviors. In the nature v nuture battle, nature wins by a landslide. All of their teachers say that my kids all over-achieve based on their IQs so I know that our nuture has had an impact but you cannot shove a kid up three standard deviations no matter how hard you try. Piglet's grades arrived for first semester. While I knew the grades (2.95), it was heartbreaking to see that she is in the bottom half of the class. I know she is working very hard, she studies every night. So many of our dreams for her include college. She will qualify for a decent amount of financial aid but if she can't get some other aid (athletic, merit, etc) it just isn't possible for her to go away to school. husband just doesn't get it. Partly is that his mom and many members of his family have low average intelligence (although his IQ is above average and his sister's is genius level) and mostly he thinks her athletic ability will get her into a college with athletic aid and she'll be fine. The problem is that her sport is not offered at most colleges and those that do offer it at the scholarship level are very high academic schools. Her GPA is the lowest on her team and low for most girls in her sport. Given the option, a coach will always take a similar athlete with a higher GPA. And even if she can get in, will she be able to pass the college classes or will she flunk out? I know I should be greatful that she is getting mostly Bs, has no detentions and is enjoying high school but it breaks my heart that all my dreams of what high school and college would be like for my kids is never going to happen. Heck, none of the others will even finish high school in four years. I know this is more about my loss and my dreams than anything to do with her, but it hurts so much.