T
toughlovin
Guest
Hi all,
Well I need your great words of wisdom to stay strong. I am holding it together but my difficult child is starting to drive me absolutely crazy... it was a bad day to begin with because I ran into our very old dog with the car!!! She is sore and hurting but nothing is broken and she will probably be ok but man that made me feel terrible. It was one of those awful accidents where I wasnt paying enough attention, she got distracted by my husband who had just driven up, and she is pretty deaf and so probably didnt hear me backing up!! Anyway that was the start of my day.
So difficult child has been posting all this stuff on Fb. I get that in some ways i would be better off if I didnt look at it but it is my one way to know he is still alive and to have any kind of communication with him. A couple of days ago it was this dark stuff that turned otu to be song lyrics.... then it was some humor, then it is about how he needs help, he is cold and hungry and really homeless, then it was an appeal to friends/family to help anyway they can... and tonight it was "someone please help".
So on the one hand it is pulling my heart strings in a major way.... but on the other hand I am feeling very frustrated because he will not take the help that we have offered, and will not call people who are willing and can help him. At one point I asked him point blank if living on the streets was better than following the rules of recovery... since that is what he said to me a couple of months ago. His response was that he needed recovery, from not having a job and being cold and hunbry.. that he did not need recovery from weed and alcohol!!! Ok fine.. and then he posts something on FB about how he lloves beer! Gee Whiz. I told him I was not going to tell him what to do but that I suggested he call my friend in LA who has been in his position... after that came the "someone please help!".
So I am holding back from jumping in... I have offered help and he is not taking it.. he obviously wants a different kind of help (ie cash) which I am not willing to give him. But I have to stay unwilling because watching him in this awful place and being homeless and cold and hunbry is killing me. I know it is what I have to do, that nothing else is going to help but it is so so hard.
TL
Well I need your great words of wisdom to stay strong. I am holding it together but my difficult child is starting to drive me absolutely crazy... it was a bad day to begin with because I ran into our very old dog with the car!!! She is sore and hurting but nothing is broken and she will probably be ok but man that made me feel terrible. It was one of those awful accidents where I wasnt paying enough attention, she got distracted by my husband who had just driven up, and she is pretty deaf and so probably didnt hear me backing up!! Anyway that was the start of my day.
So difficult child has been posting all this stuff on Fb. I get that in some ways i would be better off if I didnt look at it but it is my one way to know he is still alive and to have any kind of communication with him. A couple of days ago it was this dark stuff that turned otu to be song lyrics.... then it was some humor, then it is about how he needs help, he is cold and hungry and really homeless, then it was an appeal to friends/family to help anyway they can... and tonight it was "someone please help".
So on the one hand it is pulling my heart strings in a major way.... but on the other hand I am feeling very frustrated because he will not take the help that we have offered, and will not call people who are willing and can help him. At one point I asked him point blank if living on the streets was better than following the rules of recovery... since that is what he said to me a couple of months ago. His response was that he needed recovery, from not having a job and being cold and hunbry.. that he did not need recovery from weed and alcohol!!! Ok fine.. and then he posts something on FB about how he lloves beer! Gee Whiz. I told him I was not going to tell him what to do but that I suggested he call my friend in LA who has been in his position... after that came the "someone please help!".
So I am holding back from jumping in... I have offered help and he is not taking it.. he obviously wants a different kind of help (ie cash) which I am not willing to give him. But I have to stay unwilling because watching him in this awful place and being homeless and cold and hunbry is killing me. I know it is what I have to do, that nothing else is going to help but it is so so hard.
TL