BusynMember
Well-Known Member
The 11 year old boy we adopted sexually abused my two younger kids. I thought Ann was an only child. Since she isn't, it is my own personal opinion that she be institutionalized before he abuses your younger kids. And, no, the kids don't tell you if there is a knife to their throat and a threat that she will kill everyone, including herself, by burning the house down if anyone tells. Do it before we did otherwise your other two children will be destroyed.
Actually, girls are more apt to cry false sexual abuse charges against, say, your husband. That way you could lose all your kids as CPS takes any sexual abuse charge very seriously, even one that is bogus by a kid who lies. I know parents who this has happened to.
This is not a child who is going to get better. You can call her, visit her, bring her treats...frankly I'm not sure I'd want her home for overnight visits unless there were cameras in every room and an alarm to keep her in HER room at night.
We let the 11 year old go because we refused to let him destroy the lives of our other two children...he had already done so much to harm them and they were in therapy for years after he left. The truth about his abuse,w hich was far more than one sexual incident, did not come out until after he was gone and my kids were certain he would never be back. They were terrified of him. My daughter is now 13 and he left when she was five and she still cries whenever his name comes up (which is not often).
Parent him from afar. This child does not understand right from wrong, social norms, and is acting out on your son (grabbing his testicles is all you KNOW about...he may have done worse...kids tend to be ashamed and don't talk about it).
I would trump husband this time and say, "Well, you can raise her, but it won't be in this house."
(((Hugs))) Good luck, whatever you decide. I lived your nightmare and am just glad it's over. In our case, we chose not to see the boy again since my kids were so terrified of him and he had sexually abused them badly. Actually, we grew so afraid of him that we didn't even want him to know where we live so we moved. I hear he is now over six foot tall, out on the streets, and possibly he is thinking of ways to punish us. Shudder. I'm glad we are unlisted and he was taken to another state.
Actually, girls are more apt to cry false sexual abuse charges against, say, your husband. That way you could lose all your kids as CPS takes any sexual abuse charge very seriously, even one that is bogus by a kid who lies. I know parents who this has happened to.
This is not a child who is going to get better. You can call her, visit her, bring her treats...frankly I'm not sure I'd want her home for overnight visits unless there were cameras in every room and an alarm to keep her in HER room at night.
We let the 11 year old go because we refused to let him destroy the lives of our other two children...he had already done so much to harm them and they were in therapy for years after he left. The truth about his abuse,w hich was far more than one sexual incident, did not come out until after he was gone and my kids were certain he would never be back. They were terrified of him. My daughter is now 13 and he left when she was five and she still cries whenever his name comes up (which is not often).
Parent him from afar. This child does not understand right from wrong, social norms, and is acting out on your son (grabbing his testicles is all you KNOW about...he may have done worse...kids tend to be ashamed and don't talk about it).
I would trump husband this time and say, "Well, you can raise her, but it won't be in this house."
(((Hugs))) Good luck, whatever you decide. I lived your nightmare and am just glad it's over. In our case, we chose not to see the boy again since my kids were so terrified of him and he had sexually abused them badly. Actually, we grew so afraid of him that we didn't even want him to know where we live so we moved. I hear he is now over six foot tall, out on the streets, and possibly he is thinking of ways to punish us. Shudder. I'm glad we are unlisted and he was taken to another state.